Starting Fresh - A Random Pieces Introspective On Life's Downfalls

An Introduction

When we get knocked down, we get up again. Or so the song goes. But realistically, it's not exactly simple to just "get back up" when life knocks your legs out from under you. We've all experienced this, some of us perhaps more often or more seriously than others, but in some form everyone has had the wind knocked from their sails at some point. So what really happens when we get knocked down? The answer is...well, a lot happens. First we sit there, sometimes we get pissed, and from time to time maybe we shout into the void and hope that things just get better on their own. Spoilers: Things don't usually just get better when you shout at walls or sit around on your ass. When we get knocked down, we take action.

Lemons, Lemonade!

Another saying about life's hardships - "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". This is supposed to impart the message that you can turn something that you maybe don't like into something you maybe do. Or roll with the punches, in other terms. The lesson seems to be that shit is going to happen, and we're supposed to eat that shit and just be cool with it. This is what we're supposed to be taking away from tough situations? Turn the bad thing that happened into something mediocre? Cool, but no thanks. I have a better idea.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them back into life's stupid face. The answer to hardship doesn't have to be "suck it up and deal with it". We can do better than that, can't we? The answer to hardship is "fuck hardship". I don't sit when I'm told - ask my Mother, she'll vouch for that. I am a difficult man. If my own parents can't get me to sit down or slow down, then life doesn't stand a chance. Lemons can be a lot more than lemonade. For example, they can be projectile weapons. Use them to fire back at the shit life is throwing at you. Except freeze them, so they hurt life a lot more than it hurt you. You don't always have to give up and roll with the punches. Sometimes it's okay to push back a little bit.

Where Do We Go From Here?

So now that you've frozen your lemons and thrown them at the back of life's head, where do we go next? This one is also a little bit tricky, and it's very circumstantial. I will use my own situation as the example here, as usual. I recently lost my job of four years due to a toxic environment. (Read https://www.myrandompieces.com/post/recognizing-and-escaping-a-toxic-workplace) Initially, I was angry. I had given years of my life to improve the department I managed and the overall facility I worked at, and we had just wrapped up a major redesign that was preparing to launch to the public. I had single-handedly done all of the design and building, and the excitement for the public reveal was huge. And then the rug was pulled out from under me. "Your services will no longer be needed, thank you for all you've done, get out" was basically the message I was given. You had better believe I was angry.

There are a lot of actions I could have taken on my way out that would have been to the detriment of the facility. I chose not to - we are better than they are, after all. And I would have regretted doing anything on my way out to damage what I had helped build. On top of that, a business that is managed in that way will burn itself out before too long. They don't need your help collapsing. What did I do instead? I redirected. I used it as an opportunity to build something new. All of my experiences in animal care, my permits, my contacts - those didn't stay with the facility that terminated me. So I used them to build something of my own, and I started a 501(c)3 non-profit (Rescue Tails Animal Sanctuary) of my own, and I started writing. Sometimes the best thing you can do after a collapse is not to rebuild, but to build anew instead. Take steps towards a past dream, or a future one. It's never too late to do something new.

How Do We Build Anew?

First, take stock. Where are you, what are your options financially, who is your support network? Do you have people you can rely on that you trust to be there for you? Starting over is hard, folks. I won't lie. Doing it alone is possible, but it's so much better to do it with the people who care about you. Even if they're just there to talk and bounce ideas off of, use your support network. Next, what is it that you want to do? What experiences can you bring from your recent job, life situation, skills...whatever you can bring to bear on your new path, use it. Make a list of what those things are and how they can help. This can be resources, contacts, specialized skills, and even people. Use everything at your disposal - whatever you did before, those skills and experiences are still useful. They are not wasted time.

Once you have taken inventory of your resources, do some research. Whatever new venture you want to begin, start by looking into it. Do you want to start a new business? Look into other businesses of that type that serve your area. Is there room for another one in the area, or is it simply too competitive? What are startup and overhead costs? Questions like these will need answers before you dive in headfirst. Don't go in blind - gather as much information as you can. Next, look into grants. There are a lot of grants and funds available for starting businesses - you just have to find them! It can be a headache, but it's worth the effort.

Finally, with your research and resources sorted out, take those first steps. You should have an idea by now of what that looks like. Starting a charity or a business? File your articles of incorporation with your state. There will be a filing fee associated that varies by state. Once your articles are filed and you've been approved as a business or charity, the real work begins. It won't be easy, but it will be yours. That's the whole point here - making something that is yours. Succeed or fail, this is your baby now. You've built it from the wreckage of something else, and that's huge.

Final Thoughts

There is no single easy answer to getting back up after we're knocked down. It takes time to regain your feet, and you may fall a few more times before you find yourself back on solid ground. That's okay though - particularly after a hard hit. The most important thing you can do is to remember that you are not alone, and the world has not come to an end. There's always a way back up onto your feet. It's simply a matter of finding it, whether it's with a helping hand from someone else or if you have to scratch and claw your way back up a slippery slope. You can't give up. When life gives you lemons, fuck making lemonade. Turn those lemons into something much sweeter and let life suck on it's own sour leavings. You're worth it.