Sometimes, I wish I could keep it simple.

I have a problem.

Well, it's not really a problem problem, in the objective sense. It's a problem in the context of our world:

Everything in life is connected to everything else. And, somehow, I am able to see a large portion of those connections.

However...

Our society has trained us to have attention spans of around 1.5 seconds.

This presents us with a quandary:

How can we communicate with one another about the deeply interconnected nature of life and our world... when it takes longer than 1.5 seconds to do so?

First, some context:

I became a coach and mentor around 13 years ago. I love helping people understand things. I find life deeply thrilling, profoundly brilliant, and exquisitely satisfying in its cleverness. I love working with people who also want to understand. It makes my day to share with people just how f^*%!ng magnificent life is. This is the perspective from which I coach and mentor. This is my 'attitude' as a coach and thought partner. I am in constant awe of the majesty (or: majesticalness, to my Wilderpeople out there) of life, and I brought enough to share with the class.

One of the features of the coach/mentor life calling is: I am asked a lot of questions about a lot of topics.

Do you know what the average number of other topics are that any single topic is connected to?

I N F I N I T Y .

Example: Food. A seemingly straightforward topic. I am a licensed Nutritionist, so Food (capitalized as our topic of discussion in this example) is a topic I am asked about quite frequently.

"What should I be eating?"

If I had a BigMac for every time I've heard that question, I would have done what McDonald's did back in the early 2000's and stopped counting, reverting to the "Billions and Billions Sold" methodology, rather than updating my sign every-so-often.

One of the biggest problems with this question is often the context in which the question is asked. Oftentimes? "Hey, can I ask you something real quick?"

In other words: People look at Food as a topic that - to their thinking - "should" be simple. "It's just food, amiright?"

Well, if it's just food, then why are you asking?

If it's just food, and you're expecting a simple, snack size answer somewhere along the lines of: "Eat this one food to blast away belly fat!" then go pick up one of those clickbait/buybait articles/magazines that promise the solution to your problems with "Just this one amazing trick! You'll never guess what it is!"

But... you've already tried that haven't you. At least a few times. And regardless of whether you're ready to admit to yourself that you were duped by the toxic human behind that false advertising, you're standing in front of me, asking me, "Hey, can I ask you something real quick?" for a reason.

You're frustrated. You've tried the fast-and-easy solutions. You've tried fat burners. You've tried caffeine boosters that are guaranteed to "Melt belly fat while you sit!" You're frustrated. I get it. I was too, when I was in your shoes.

So let me ask you a question then:

If you've tried the fast-and-easy solutions, and those have gotten you nowhere/now-here... Why are you asking me to answer this incredibly complex question in 1.5 seconds or less?

Do you see the inherent flaw in that thinking?

A pretty smart human once said: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

Do you see how this is that principle, in action?

It's the fast-and-easy solutions that are failing you. So, what might this suggest about the nature of the solutions that may be successful for you?

^THIS^ is exactly what this article is about.

I'm at 650 words and I'm still explaining the context of the issue.

***le sigh...***

Well, one bright side to this: There's no better way to illustrate a point than by demonstrating it in action. So... yay for that, I suppose.

Now where were we?

Ah, yes:

Example: Food. A seemingly straightforward topic. I am a licensed Nutritionist, so Food (capitalized as our topic of discussion in this example) is a topic I am asked about quite frequently.

"What should I be eating?"

This question is connected to an Infinite (capitalized with respect) number of variables, qualities, and peccadillos. (100% Unrelated Sidenote: I find it hilariously ironic that the plural form of peccadillo has two alternate acceptable spellings.)

In other words: When you ask me, "What should I be eating?"... there are a list of questions that come up in my own mind that I now need to ask you in order to determine how best to answer your question.

Here's what I mean by, "how best to answer your question."

If a 5th grader walked up to you and asked you: "How do I throw a football better?" Your answer would be very different than if Tom Brady walked up to you and asked you that same question.

The context of the individual who is asking the question is of just as much importance as the content of the question itself.

How am I able to determine your unique, individual context? By asking you questions. { I want to point out one subtle-but-key thing here: Do you see how, already, this interaction is taking longer than the 1.5 seconds the average attention span is comfortable allotting? }

Here is a small selection of those questions I would need to ask you, in order to determine your context, so I can give you a relevant, helpful answer:

• What are you eating currently? A food journal covering at least a 10-day period will be helpful here.
• How familiar are you with the poisons in conventionally grown food? Do you already understand that eating organic food is a 'must'? Or am I going to have to work with you on first educating you, and then gradually changing this habit?
• Do you understand product marketing and how a lot of toxic companies are 'greenwashing' their products to make poisonous food appear healthy?
• Is sustainability and environmental friendliness an important value to you? If so, we have hours to discuss regarding regenerative farming vs. mono-cropping; GMOs and Big Ag vs. Healthy Soil and Organic Biophilia; etc.
• Are you looking to change your diet? Become vegetarian, vegan, keto, meat-a-saurus?
• Do you have any food allergies you know of?
• Is 'inflammation' a term you are familiar with, and do you know how the oils in your food are impacting your body's inflammation levels?
• Speaking of oils, what oil(s) do you cook with at home? Are you aware of the effect of heat on different cooking oils and that if you cook too hot with a low-temp oil, you turn the oil into a trans fat or, at the very least, a carcinogen?
• How much alcohol do you drink? And are we talking Bud Light or thoughtfully made Craft Beer? A glass of Organic, Sustainably Grown Red Wine or a bottle of Barefoot?
• How often are you exercising? How do you exercise?
• And finally, dead last: What are your goals?

This is a tiny sample, a broad overview of some of the questions that pop up in my head when someone asks me:

"What should I be eating?"

Does it seem like a lot of extra work to you?

It is. For both of us.

But this is what makes me an ***effective*** coach. This is how I am one of those coaches who actually helps people grow and change.

If there was an 'easy button' for these things, don't you think we would know about it by now? Don't you think someone would have found it and patented the $h!+ out of it?

Here is the Truth:

Life is simple. Explaining life is complex.

The principles of Health, Relationships, Money, etc... the principles are simple, clear, and constant. Embodying those principles... that's the work.

Coaching, to me, is: Asking people questions that, when answered, will lead to them embodying those principles in their own unique way.

In a world where so many people have questions, and we have this amazing tool known as the Internet for sharing answers with one another, it's disheartening to see the charlatans and '20-minute experts' getting so many clicks, likes and re-shares for their sound-bite answers that are the informational equivalent of a rock skipping across a pond: You can't even call their information 'shallow', it never even breaks the surface.

But people feel overwhelmed. There's so much they don't know about. And these topics - whether it's Food, Money, Relationships, Career, Health, Politics, Social Justice, etc. - are big. They're Infinite. And in their overwhelm, those seeking to learn all they can in the 1.5 seconds they are comfortable allotting to a given topic, reach for the fast, short, easy "answer".

And people are moving so quickly - from one overwhelming thing to the next in such rapid succession - that they often do not take the moment to register when they have been led astray by the skipping rock answers.

There is part of me that wishes I could just "keep it simple." Give the skipping rock answer. Get 20,000 reads for that clickbaity article that promises gold and pays off in pennies.

But then, what would that accomplish? Aside from continuing and enabling a toxic cycle of mis-and-dis-information.

One thing: I would feel less genuine. I would feel like a less authentic version of myself. I can't know all that I know and, when asked, just share the skipping rock answer. That feels like fraud to me. A slap in the face to life, my greatest teacher; and to myself, in a sense.

So, here at the end, I suppose the conclusion is: I'm good. I'll keep being me.

I'm part of life too, after all, and all I want to do is keep singing her praises. No matter how few people seem to be listening, I know she can hear me. And ultimately, that's all that matters.