Never say Never

Recently, I read an article giving advice to writers that made the blanket statement

You will NEVER be the next big thing.

I’m paraphrasing slightly, but only a little.

I don’t particularly like blanket statements and here's why.

They completely ignore any variables.

The fact of the matter is, statistically, most of us are not going experience the overwhelming success of our idols. That does not mean it can’t happen for one of us.

There are two ways to react to someone telling you that you will never achieve something.

Either you feel defeated and motivation is that little bit harder to maintain, leading to the shelving of the dreams you were fantasising about.

Or just makes you want it more.

I absolutely agree that a healthy dose of reality is important. Let’s face it, no matter how much I want it, I’m not going to be the Queen of England. Not in this lifetime. There would be very little sense in me planning my life around that particular desire.

That doesn't mean I shouldn’t dream. So QOE is out of my grasp. Frankly that is just a hypothetical and I’d rather own my own bookshop/coffee/tea place with florist attached. I spend more than a few quiet mornings, in that sweet time before everyone else in the neighbourhood wakes up, musing over a cup of coffee imagining what my book-lover’s sanctuary would look like. I may or may not also fantasise about the interviews I’ll do with the local news channel about the roaring success of my debut novel that I'm yet to finish.

And this is where dreaming becomes important. No, I may not (in all probability, won't) be the next big author. But I would put money on the same thought having occurred to the majority well known authors at some point in their careers.

So how do we go from fantasising and dreams to something tangible?

• Step 1. Dream - Work out what it is you really want. Because if it isn’t that important to you, the motivation to keep going when you hit a bump in the road isn’t going to hold firm. Just don’t forget to move onto the next step, ok?

• Step 2. Know what you are getting into - Do some research. Do lots of research. Learn. It doesn’t mean you need to get a University degree (unless, of course, that is essential to making your dream come true). There are lots of places to find the information you need. Network. Meet people who are already doing what you'd like to do. Get some advice. Just remember: thank everyone for their time and be polite, but it doesn't mean you have to use the advice they give you. Take what works for you, leave the rest. There is more than one road to success.

• Step 3. Plan - Researching and learning are a really important step to take before you start planning. How can one form an effective plan if one knows not what one needs to include in said plan? The reality is, you can’t. You can form a plan, but it will ultimately have huge gaps that have a negative impact on your end goal. That doesn't mean you can’t start formulating a plan as you research, it just won’t be a complete and well rounded plan until you know more. This is also where talking to other people comes in handy. You can learn from their mistakes and put things in place to avoid making the same errors that can set you back greatly.

• Step 4. Implement your plan - Make a start. Everything up till now has been relatively theoretical. Learning, researching, planning. But this is the first time you would have to take a real step. Something measurable, a tangible action. This is actually one of the most difficult steps and the one many people falter at. It is scary, having to put things in motion. Because at this point, you could fail. It could all fall in a heap. Go completely pear shaped. And result in having to confess that you didn’t achieve that goal you were so excited about, put so much time and effort into.

Yes, it is scary. None of us like to fail. I personally hate having to admit failure. Even if it is only to myself. But I’ve learned to deal with it. And so will you. Keep in mind these two things. If you never try, then you have already failed. And, as long as you learn from it, then failure was worth it.

Don’t let that fear of failure stop you from ever trying.

• Step 5. Assess - You will learn as you go through both good and bad experiences. That is when it’s time to make adjustments to your original plan. Sometimes changing plans can feel like failing. It really is not. You may find twenty ways that don’t work. You only need one that does. Assessing progress of a plan is ongoing. A successful person doesn't just assess once. They assess and reassess during the entire process, adapting plans to accommodate new information.

This process is not new and it is not my brilliant idea. If you look around, you will find plenty of self help/self improvement books that go into greater detail. It all comes back to the same basics and the advice doesn't just apply to writing. It is based on the scientific experimental process, has been used by immensely sucessful people and can be applied to the pursuit of any goal.

There will always be people who tell you what they think is a harsh truth. That you will never achieve the greatness you dream of. They are right.

But only if you let them be.

Did you know? The inventor of Velcro, George de Mestral, took 10 years from inspiration of concept to producing the final product. Originally, he pitched his product to the fashion industry as an alternative to zips and buttons. Not supprisingly, he was shot down by the 1950’s fashion designers. It wasn't until the 1960’s that NASA picked up his product and it's popularity begins to rise. Now his invention is in nearly every home.

Just goes to show that with determination and a willingness to adapt original expectations, success is not a never event.