How I Turn Discomfort Into A Valuable Reflection Practice

One of my biggest struggles in life has been making peace with discomfort.

For years I was responsible for disrupting my mental, psychological and physical state, fueling my discomfort without even knowing it.

Physical or psychological discomfort is often characterized by an unpleasant feeling resulting in a natural response of avoidance or reduction of the source of the discomfort.

While pain can be the cause of the discomfort, most discomfort can not be attributed to pain.

Anxiety, anger, physical pain, sadness, frustration, shame, envy, jealousy, stress, and everything that threatens my identity are the most common sources of discomfort

If you master discomfort, you can master just about anything.

In this article, I would like to share a more constructive way of approaching your discomfort and how to turn it into a superpower enabling you to take control over your life.

Reframing discomfort

I used to aim for comfort in all eras of life until I came to the realization that when things were "too good," I was stuck looking out on the world from my comfort zone.

A voice in my head whispered: If you aim for "easy." You won't grow.

I had created a comfortable life, but inside I was miserable.

That is when I got obsessed with finding out what discomfort is.

After years of trial and error, my short answer is that discomfort is an invitation to grow, but I have to embrace the discomfort to grow

Discomfort is a catalyst for growth, and it forces you to change, stretch, and adapt.

Discomfort is a sign that I am learning something new.

The transition will be uncomfortable and scary, but the only way of expanding my comfort zone is through the discomfort.

All Growth Comes Down To The Actions I take

My willingness to try something new, break a habit, take a risk, make new connections, or put myself in a new situation won't be easy.

I tell my students:

It won't be easy at. First, you may feel exhausted or feel like giving up when discomfort comes knocking on your door, but it's worth it.

There can be no development physically or intellectually without actions, and action means discomfort and work.

Comfort leads to disconnection from self/self-absorption, boredom, and yes, you guessed it — more discomfort.

Most things I spent years avoiding turned out to be the biggest secret to my success.

The very thing I was avoiding, all the things I was convinced would break me, has made me more resilient and humbled me.

What no one told me when I first started seeking out discomfort was that discomfort not only makes me grow, but it is a reflective practice.

Reframing discomfort and turning it into a reflective practice has been the most important skills to live a truly fulfilling life.

After learning this skill, I can master pretty much anything.

It keeps my Anxiety, anger, physical pain, sadness, frustration, shame, envy, jealousy, stress away from my doorstep.

It is the main ingredient in healthy relationships that I could never uphold in the past.

Discomfort is the universe telling me that I can become more than I am.

It's telling me to stop avoiding what's hard, by introducing me to new perspectives and new skills.

Learning to be comfortable with discomfort

The biggest lie I was ever told was that it's not simple.

Learning to be comfortable with discomfort is one of the most simple things in the world. Is it hard in the beginning?

Of course, it is, and therein lies the value of this reflective practice.

If it does create discomfort, it is taking me one step in the wrong direction, and it is useless as a reflective practice.

Imagine this; you have a pill that opens up everything for you, starting a new habit, engaging in new things, speaking on a stage, making procrastination a thing of the past.

ONE pill makes it possible to embrace the life you always wanted, with NO harmful side effects. Would you take it?

That pill is called discomfort, and it is prescription-free, always in stock with unlimited access to it for as long as you live.

How I Got Started

Taking the first step is one of the biggest obstacles I faced, so I started by identifying all the areas in my life where I felt discomfort and why.

DON'T SKIP THIS STEP!

After identifying the eras where I felt discomfort, I made a specific and very practical action plan.

Two mantras got me through the initial resistance:

— Repetition is what expands my comfort boundaries

— Avoiding discomfort creates more discomfort

I looked for signs that I was getting too comfortable and reminded myself that I am never really alone in my discomfort.

I reminded myself that I was doing this to be the best version of me and would profit every one around me.

I used "When I" statements.

I have learned that if a tip or advice I give myself is not a practice, I won't embrace it and will not change my life.

So I started to get practical and created an action plan for all uncomfortable situations I had Identified.

I call them ACTION STATEMENTS, and they work like a charm.

Here are some examples of some action statements:

— When this happens….. I will… you fill in the blanks

— When I do this, I will feel more…

— If I don't do this, I will feel…

DON'T SKIP THIS STEP!

If you skip this step, the discomfort will take over, creating more discomfort.

If I don't know what I want or should do, others will decide what I need and experience more discomfort.

Ok, let's see what we got soo far, and let us wrap this up for you to take with you before you leave.

Summary

If I can master discomfort, I can master just about anything.

The biggest challenge is not the discomfort, it is being kind during the process, treating myself and others with compassion.

It is so easy to fall into negative self-talk limiting my ability to believe in myself and my own abilities and to reach my potential.

Therefore I have made it into a daily practice to ask myself:

— What is discomfort trying to tell me?

— What happens when I listen too much to my discomfort?

I start small, practicing repetition, expanding my comfort zone one baby step at a time.

I remind myself that when I try to avoid discomfort, I am just creating more pain postponing it into the future.

The discomforts I avoid in the present, I am pushing into the future.

In the future, I will re-live the discomfort of the things I never did in the past and experience the discomfort linked to the consequences of ignoring my discomfort in the past.

I'm trying to propose here that discomfort is not optional.

The only thing I can do is choose when I want to feel the discomfort.

Do I want it now in the present when I take my ass to the gym or exercise, or do I move my discomfort to the future?

Either way, I will experience discomfort when it is the only thing I say about it.

I don't know about you, but for me, this was a profound inside that changed the way I relate to doing things in the present that cost me discomfort.

The main reason is my awareness about the impossible mission of never feeling any discomfort.

This applies to everything if you think about it:

— The unwillingness to change my mind as to avoid feeling the discomfort being wrong makes me feel.

— The conversation that you are not willing to have right now because it causes you discomfort.

— The money that I am not willing to save because of the discomfort I feel when I can't buy the latest iPhone.

— The Shady friends I keep hanging out with despite their negative impact on my personality because I don't want to face the discomfort of being by myself until I find new friends.

—Staying in a dysfunctional relationship to avoid facing the discomfort of failure, loneliness, or what other people will say.

So what do I need to let go to embrace discomfort in the present to create a future with less discomfort?

Well, for starters, I let go of immediate gratification, distractions, soothing behaviors like numbing, to mention a few.

Addictive behaviors are also a way to handle the present's discomfort and create more discomfort in the future.

To alleviate the discomfort I feel in the present moment is a form of self-medicating behavior, and it doesn't work.

It's tempting to say that it is complicated, that I am not that brave, but in reality, If I just get started, the first thing I notice is that it is a very, very simple process.

Keeping in mind that the discomfort I feel right now is an investment for the future, it helps me reframe my discomfort.

Finally and most importantly:

I take my time and treat myself like someone I love.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope this was helpful, and please share it with the world.

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