Hitting the Reset Button:

When it comes to existing as a multi talented human being, and not recognizing your niche, it can feel like the world is against you. I am a millennial that doesn’t see the “bigger picture” when it comes to working for the man. And I don’t believe I ever will, just from the way I was raised and the choices I made free-willingly about how I am going to live my life wholeheartedly. I don’t see money as this powerful tool that gets you farther in life, it is hard to do so when you know information about the value of your dollar bill. Money has grown to repulse me in this era due to the fact it can buy so much more than its intended purpose (i.e votes in a competition, audience for a growing business, etc). I crave the time when people were actually talented, and you didn’t need to have hefty pockets to be considered “talented” to make ends meet. When your neighbor would also side as a handyman, or you knew someone who was talented in technical writing, babysitting, mechanics – anything. Now in 2019, everything that is considered a service, talent, or skill needs to be an out-of-pocket expense. Inflation has caused a big riff between being a decent human being and affording to look like one. Status quo and external validation reeks in the air of surrounding starving artists as we can no longer be the visionaries we once imitated from long ago. Times have changed and technology has taken control over the vast majority of options available to do more. It would seem as if having the internet would be beneficial, but it seems when everything is put onto the internet, some of us who tend to have old-fashioned ways of doing things have to catch up with the ever-changing advances.

A few days ago, while I was out on a shopping trip, I looked around Big Lots and realized I could strive at a quiet retail store such as this. When I asked the cashier about applying, she informed me to go their website and apply online. Now, it wasn’t what she said that deterred me-in fact, I still applied-but it was the inner child in me who was disappointed. Growing up when I watched my Saturday cartoons on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel, there were a few real-life situations that I had hoped played out the way it did on television when I got old enough. Pipe dreams, but the hope was sincere. I was living under the impression that managers or employee faculty would like to see who they’re hiring and ask questions while in person to judge their demeanor. Never would I think that you apply on the company website and wait to hear back if they would like to interview you. In fact, it seems like a lot harder of a process than the simplicity that was envisioned when implemented.

Some things in this life just don’t feel natural. A lot of life here in the future of what has been would be considered unnatural, but what I am speaking of is on a “human” level. Slowly and surely technology is controlling our lives and causing detrimental consequences to our health – physical, mental, emotional, and for some, maybe all of the above. We need to know boundaries, we need to know self-preservation. We are distracted and blind to our control of our daily lives, in which is an illusion. If you are really in control of your life the way you believe so, then I do not recommend this article to you. But if you are like me, where the end of every day reminds you of unhappiness and not living up to your full potential, then continue reading. Here I am going to inform you of a few life-saving tips when you get down in the dumps that have worked for me and continue to work for me to progress in a society in which I have no choice.

Choose You

Sometimes the person who knows you best is you, right? When I feel overwhelmed with an overload of things to do, emotions that have went untendered, or lacking the accessibility to tell anyone how I feel, I found it best to write out everything that was going on, rather than bottling inside to deal with later. I realized in doing this exercise, what was affecting prior no longer felt projected in my actions or socialization throughout the day. I believe a lot of us do not stop to think what better ways we can take care of our mental and emotional health, maybe because it’s not the hottest fad on Twitter or there could be an impending amount of self-doubt that prevents those from merely attempting. But the best part of this activity is the fact that you are not obligated to share your entries with anyone. What you write in your journal is considered confidential, secret, and sacred. Unless you want to share your experiences, journaling is a great way to gain closure with your Self.

I have been journaling since 2015, I am going to be honest and say I don’t get to do it everyday and as much as I would like to. But when it becomes too much for me to bear, I remember my trustworthy journal has never failed me. Some days, I have no idea what to write about (which can happen to all of us) and I decide to write about my progression for my future, something that may have made my day, or even just type what comes to mind until a topic “sticks”. Journaling for those of us who do not enjoy writing may be a tedious task at first, but with practice can be a world of difference for our emotional expression. Just think about how Facebook asks you “What’s on your mind?” Before you type out your latest post. Asking yourself this valid question can be the novice level journaling prompt necessary to stir the passions of getting what you feel out of your head and onto a platform for progressive clarification. Reflecting over how we feel can help get to the source of why we feel this way, what better actions that can be taken to avoid such feeling, and what actions can be taken in a similar situation to prevent a recurrence.

Stop, Listen, & Breathe

Our society is very fast paced; one moment you believe you’re the coolest person with your iPhone XR, and three months later, they are announcing a line of “more advanced” iPhones. One moment the latest fashion trend is zebra print leggings, and the next it’s glittery blouses. There is literally no winning when you attempt to keep up with others materialistically. There is always going to be something newer, shinier, and equipped with more gadgets. STOP! Materials cannot fill the void! Materials will not create inner peace, it is merely impossible. Yes, I completely understand that it is the thought that counts, but the suffering attached to the feeling of boredom after a few months or so never resolves. We just have too much stuff, too much space. Self-deprecation has become a trend lately on social media, and yet, no one questions why they are doubting themselves so heavily. You can do everything right, graduate college, get a great paying job, have a surplus of money – but it still doesn’t fix the heart. The mind continues running, “Oh, I have to succeed doing this to get to that so I can do this.” There is no self-gratitude for the work they did accomplish, there is no internal validation. People spend money, hoping every bill that leaves their hands will somehow magically create the life they envision. But yet, why is it they are not enough for themselves?

“I wish everyone could become rich and famous, so they could realize it’s not the answer.”

- Jim Carrey

Learn to listen to those words that slip from the mind, recognize what your soul is yearning for. If you don’t like that job, but it pays well, you are chasing the society-based dream. You are not doing it for the Love of Self, but the Love of Wealth. We are allowed our own perspective, so hopefully this doesn’t offend anyone when I say: Money is not wealth. Love is wealth. Inner peace is wealth. Yes, there is a lot you can do with money. You can afford a life-saving surgery, you could take someone you really admire out to dinner. I am not saying money is wrong, I like to spend money as well. But don’t let money dictate your life. Don’t work a job you don’t like, there is a probable chance when you leave that they can find someone to replace you with the same – if not more – attributes to progress as a business. And if you are someone who works for themselves, I applaud you. It is not easy being your own boss, especially in this economy.

Life is stressful, but it is only that way because it is us who decides how we want to live our life. Are we going to submit to the communistic ways of the government in order to afford newer “luxuries” like our peers, or is it worth it to fight for our rights for peace and tranquility? When life rubs you the wrong way, just breathe and remember everyday has an end. This too shall pass. We need to begin to live in the present moment and not be distracted by those who may own more expensive materials than us. We all have our flaws, and some people use expensive things to mask those from sight of others. Empathy can go a long way – not just for others, but for ourselves as well. We need to begin to be our own biggest fan, in everything we do.

Try Something New, Alone

I struggled for a long time with doing activities by myself and it even got as bad as deciding to stay home in and just have a pity party of one. But when I did decide enough was enough, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. We are under a false impression that in order for us to be entertained or enjoy ourselves, we need another person as company or to care about the activity. External validation is a drug. Pleading for others to be the “yes” or “no” of your life is going to leave you miserable. When you learn that you are your first best friend as well as biggest critic, and apply the same perspective to everyone else, you realize that no one knows what the hell they’re doing. So you may as well do it your way, right? I started by researching recipes that wouldn’t break my bank but also healthy and delicious. It became a conversation starter amongst the family, and sooner rather than later I realized I chose to be happy in something regardless if someone else wanted to participate or not. We all have the power to be inspiring to someone else, and this little nugget of experience helped me gain my confidence back in myself. I grew tired of unsolicited “advice” from people who thought they knew better for me but couldn’t do the same for themselves. I grew tired of the dependence of someone else to enjoy myself. Go for a walk with no destination. Sit outside and soak up the sun, treat yourself. Starting small is not bad, it’s a beginning for different. That’s the whole point of hitting the reset button.