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We Become What We Repeatedly Do

“In a Nutshell, your health, wealth, happiness, fitness, and success depend on your habits.”

By Ha Le SaPublished about a month ago 11 min read
We Become What We Repeatedly Do
Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

How a Habit is developed?

Most of a person’s daily activities are their habits. A habit is usually a circle of cue action and reward. A cue is a cause behind a certain behavior, and it switches the brain to automatic mode, so makes a person repeat the routine. The cause is anything like some place or some time of the day, and emotional state, or a social circumstance. The more the action leads to a reward like a good feeling or relief the more it encourages a person to focus on the action but forget the trigger and the reward. For example, if you play video games most of the time you may notice that the trigger could be boredom and the reward could be entertainment, you can then change your action to something else, that will bring the same reward like watching TV, or using social media.

Some habits are just things you are used to doing without any reward like biting nails or being stressed at night. If you want to change a habit forever, you have to depend on determination and willpower to start. But it is limited support that cannot be dependent on. In simple words, the more you pressurize yourself to do your daily tasks according to decisions, the more undoubtedly you are facing to encounter decision fatigue. Once you experience decision fatigue, changing habits for the good becomes less of a priority for you especially at the end of a tiring day. If we have given a choice, we always choose the easy habits in place of the good habits, because they provide a way of least resistance and become the easier choice.

By Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

The hardest part in the formation of a new habit is the beginning. Once you use your willpower and force yourself to start you will see that it is not difficult to carry on. An interesting point is to prepare for everything that you need in advance, so you will be ready to go. For example, access your internet browser and make ready your workout clothes and required things without any distraction. Do not try to switch your all life in one day, if you start too high it will be hard, and you may surrender quickly. Start small, by doing this you will generate a notion of achievement. It will be easier to make progress. Instead of cutting your sleep hours from nine to six suddenly, try to reduce it by half an hour. Instead of reading a book a week, start from reading a page then, increase to chapters, and so on. As James Clear said,

Habits are not a finish line to be crossed, they are a lifestyle to be lived.

There are many opinions about the time period required to develop a new habit. Several researchers say that it takes a minimum of 21 days for a habit to form, others claim that it takes 66 days, and some declare that it takes about two to eight months. The major area is to focus on performing, it gets simpler with the passage of time and you will get used to it. For example, you go to the gym for the first time it will be hard to lift heavyweight at the beginning, it is the same with self-discipline. Self-discipline is like a muscle you need to train, so it will get stronger. There are various online groups and challenges you may take part in. You may search for a partner with similar goals as yours and motivate each other. As Jim Rohn said,

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

Just be consistent and you will succeed.

Good habits

Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding.

A good habit is a productive attitude that you regularly practice. Some examples of good habits include exercising daily, taking a healthy diet, etc. Evolving good habits assist you to change your life for the better. By developing good habits, you are inclined towards joy, success, and a life of your choice. By investing some time in your self-improvement, you may become a better version of yourself.

By Katrina Wright on Unsplash

Here are eight good habits to develop for spending a purposeful life.

  • Managing Relationships

Managing relationships is an admirable habit to develop. A valuable man pays exceptional attention to his relationships. He maintains mutual trust and respect between friends, family, colleagues, juniors, and seniors. He realizes the importance of the saying that,

no one can achieve success on their own.

A successful individual knows the power of an active community. He is not a rogue elephant and does not even try to be. He asks for help when needs it. He collaborates with a large variety of different people, and values contrasting viewpoints. He works hard to cultivate effective relationships and prioritizes the strength of connections. He is not scared of speaking with strangers or addressing a large crowd. He dares himself to interact with others in uncomfortable situations. He knows that connecting with other people is necessary to achieve his goals. He is courageous, confident, and an open-minded person with impressive social skills.

  • Persistent Discipline

Being reliable is a good habit to bear. And it requires persistence which is a trait of every nice personality person. A victorious person is firm in his habits and commitments. Consistency takes self-discipline, and self-discipline is always demanding. Try to control your emotions and wishes to become a self-disciplined person. And this will make you able to make better decisions in life and shows how trustworthy you are.

  • Emotional Resilience

If you have emotional resilience, you will achieve your goals more easily. This is all about staying calm and composed in difficult situations by holding your temper. It is not about making impulsive decisions but standing cool head in hard times. When circumstances turn tough, a strong individual does not accept defeat or run away from his duties. He faces and defends difficult situations fearlessly. Because he has the imperative stamina to recover from failures and learn from mistakes.

  • Impassioned Leadership

To become a successful individual, one must adopt sincere leadership qualities. Impassioned leadership is another habit to develop for creating an inspiring personality. An impressive person is self-aware and emotionally intelligent, he is a strong, and well-respected leader. He has a powerful perception of his passions, energy, resources, pluses, and minuses. He uses strong leadership skills to encourage and admire others. For a man in a position of power, strong leadership skills are necessary.

  • Personal Presence

Presence depends on the confidence of a person. One must have to communicate confidence with one's whole character. From vocal tone and pitch to body language, every single gesture you express must be strong and self-confident so people notice your presence. Otherwise, your presence will diminish you will blend into the background. In other words, you will become forgettable.

  • High Self-Esteem

A meaningful life is with a high self-esteemed personality. Have faith in your ability to work, adapt, and achieve. Do not be stubborn or overconfident. Be aware that your self-esteem must not be arrogance. Egoistic persons believe that they’re better than the rest of the world and treat others as if they are inferior creatures. Do not show off your success, or consider yourself superior. Remember that everyone is equal. People with high self-esteem believe in themselves and accept who they are in reality. They accept the fact that they are not perfect and ready to learn something new always.

  • Eternal Honesty

Honesty is a key feature of any high-value personality. Every high-value man is honest about themselves. They are willing to confront their personal problems and address weaknesses. A high-value man is a trusted friend, he is socially responsible, he understands the importance of his phrases and commitments. A high-value man is honest about their personality. He does not try to hide his deficiencies. He thinks that he has nothing to prove to common people so he does not feel ashamed of his weaknesses. Eternal honesty is his first priority.

  • Achieving Balance

A person with a strong personality is enthusiastic about achieving his goals, but even passion has some limits too, and that is about maintaining balance. Understand your purpose and work hard to get it, but step away if there is any need. If you commit your entire life to a single ambition, you’ll miss out on everything else life has to offer. You may create a strong reputation at your workplace, but also try to focus on home. Give time to your relationships and fulfill your duties. Take care of your mental and physical health. If your goals swallow your happiness or fade your whole personality, you may become exhausted before you achieve anything worthy. Take care of your body, your mind, and your relationships. Balance is necessary to lead a purposeful life.

Bad habits

Bad habits are like chains that are too light to feel until they are too heavy to carry.

A bad habit is a negative behavioral attitude. Some examples of bad habits include procrastination, overthinking, etc. Habits are developed in the early life of an individual. They are not harmful but are helpful and necessary for healthy living. A bad habit is something that is done again and again for a moment of happiness but destroys someone for the long term. It weakens your relationship with God and people.

By Andres Siimon on Unsplash

Here are eight damaging habits to quit as soon as possible.

  • Chasing Trends

Chasing trends is a bad habit of a person's personality. There are a lot of people who spend their whole life to impress others. Do not follow trends blindly to look cool. If the opinions of other people are important to you then you lack self-confidence. If you wear clothes of people choice. If you try to get a job or position that other people admire. If others do not like you, you may have difficulty liking yourself. Trendiness has not any recognition but the following trend is a danger to your actual personality. The more you try to make yourself according to people's choices, the more you suppress your specific sense of self. The more you attempt to be charming or well-liked, the more perplexed and dishonest your identity becomes. You may lose interest in your goals, thoughts, and personal methodology. So, stop thinking about what is popular, and start thinking about your uniqueness.

  • Avoiding Responsibility

Avoiding responsibility is one of the most damaging habits on this list. Various people do not take responsibility to avoid failure and mistakes. When something goes out of the way, they behave like victims in their lives. They make responsible others for their defeats and failures and act like they should be pitied. They blame their circumstances and complain about not having proper opportunities. If you are unable to take responsibility and fear mistakes, then you will never get any improvement or achievement and going to repeat your mistakes over and over again. Do not surrender from your responsibilities and have faith that you can fix your problems and change your life.

  • Seeking Shortcuts

You cannot change your life overnight, so avoid seeking shortcuts. Accept that there is no shortcut to a successful life lifestyle. To change your life for the better, do not look for shortcuts. You have to work hard days and nights with patience, and there is no other way. History is full of stories of people who changed their life through hard work. Set long-term goals, and try to achieve them with consistency, so you may get long-lasting success and a happy living.

  • Hypocritical Advice

Some people guide others that how to live their lives. They act as a mentor in their social circle by telling others about solutions to their problems. They give advice, not because they observe the world at a deeper level, but because they want to stand out. They wish to get popularity as a wise man in society. Anybody can tell you how to solve your problems, anybody can speak generally about wisdom. But the people do not practice what they preach. If you also do the same, then stop searching for respect and recognition by teaching others. Instead of telling other people what to do, work on your issues.

  • Impulsive Choices

Making an impulsive decision is a harmful habit as it makes you regret it. As time passes and you are ashamed of your certain vision. If you think carefully a little before taking any decision, then you may pick up better choices, and there will not be any need to feel guilty about your decision. You can walk away from every situation knowing you made a smart decision, instead of feeling guilty. Give yourself some time and think about the consequences before you decide anything.

  • Fearful Compromises

Don’t be frightened to put your needs first. There is not any need to make compromises after getting pressurized by someone else, admit it. Your needs and wishes are as important as anyone's else. You must approach all disputes with confidence and stand your ground, otherwise, your wants and needs will take a backseat. If you want to change your life for the better, you need to stand up for yourself. Do not crumble under pressure. It is a fact that it takes practice and confidence to stand up for yourself. this healthy habit is worth the time and effort. You are your first responsibility. Some people want to control and manipulate you unless you have the required courage to defend yourself.

  • Unnecessary Sacrifices

If somebody demands a favor, do not always say yes. And do not worry that how other people think or feel about you. You may be afraid about your social status. You may be worried about disheartening other individuals. If you sacrifice your time for the benefit of others, and no one needs you to make these sacrifices, then you are just wasting your time and effort. People can handle themselves. It’s not your responsibility to solve their problems. You can say no whenever you want to and live independently.

  • Constant Worrying

Every time a new challenge comes your way, you panic. You may be overwhelmed by stress daily, like many people in the world. Do not think about all the different ways you can fail or embarrass yourself. Do not become a pessimist but an optimist. Stop constant worrying. There are a lot of different methods, that may help you to control your fears and worries; like talking to a friend, going for a walk, or doing some cooking.

Four easy steps to develop a habit

• Concentrate only on one or two habits at a time.

• Hang a big calendar on the wall.

• Put a big X for each day you succeed. After a couple of successful days, you will have a chain of X's.

• Not break that chain.

Once your chain is extended to 30 days, you develop a new habit. You may utilize this method to quit bad habits too. Just put X for each day you’ve avoided your bad habit. It is pretty simple and quite productive. By using this technique, you can start to take a healthy diet, exercise regularly, or for anything you feel you need to lead a positive lifestyle. Just remember. Do not break the chain.

By Kaylee Brayne on Unsplash

Habits are like small steps we make through our life’s journey. If those steps are made positively, our life will flow in a positive direction. There is a simple way of forming a habit. You can use it to eat a healthy diet, stop drinking, or exercise daily.

self help

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Ha Le Sa

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