The Talk on Self Talk

When you were growing up, did your parent ever tell you, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Well, that also applies to self-talk, and today I am going to give you a piece of my mind when it comes to this topic. Growing up, no one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, was this self-deprecating. I want it to be known I am ashamed to be among the age group that believes self-deprecation is cool. And in case you are not familiar with the term, self-deprecation is defined as modesty about or criticism of oneself. There's a great chance you have seen posts on social media that broadcast such stupidity, ending in mentions of "because I'm stupid," "because I'm ugly." I don't know who needs to hear this but stop talking to yourself like this! Words are power! In the future, we're going to dive more into the Law of Attraction, and to work it to our advantage and such, but currently let’s start with words.

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”

- Yehuda Berg

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The power behind our words not only affect conversations with others, but also with yourself. Now I decided to do the "Self-Talk" topic early because I feel it is important to get out of the way. We may not even notice these instances in comparison to social media; it could be a moment under your breath when a minor mistake occurs. It can occur when things don't go our way, or someone gets under our skin. There’s many instances these words can slip and that's okay! We are only human! What is important is we give the negative self-talk awareness in order to improve gradually. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but a day can be long enough to try a change.

Words carry such a vast amount of energy that we must discipline ourselves to learn healthy, morally correct habits in order to live peaceful lives. We tend to be our own worst critic, and in doing so, we don’t recognize when we spread criticism to others. We involuntarily consider the style of the words that we use to be the representation of our opinion without any regard to the significance of what we are saying. To influence positivity, the power of your words we must speak with mindfulness and an awareness to our tone to solidify inner peace in our character. Yes, it’s going to be difficult, people still get under my skin too. But the more you practice being mindful of what is said, you will see just how much negativity there is naturally in our society. We are lucky, to be entitled to free speech, when other countries may not have the same advantage. What we decide to do with such power speaks more than the opinion being said.

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, (Tik · N’yat · Hawn) is a famous contemporary Buddhist monk, poet, global peace activist, and spiritual leader. He is best known for his powerful teachings and bestselling writings on mindfulness and peace. In his book, Being Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh states, “speaking honestly in any negotiation between individuals or groups is necessary. Speaking the truth in a loving way is also necessary.”

Hanh recommends only speaking in a “lovingly honest” speech, in regards for intimate conversations and disagreements. We must learn to convey our statements and perspective in a way that doesn’t debate but delivers the reality we are interacting with daily. There's a greater chance we do not live the same lives, so empathetic understanding can get us farther in understanding who we are as Self.

"Power is good for one thing only: to increase our happiness and the happiness of others. Being peaceful and happy is the most important thing in our lives and yet most of the time we suffer, we run after our cravings, we look to the past or the future for our happiness."

- Thich Nhat Hanh

In my opinion of Self discovery, there is no right or wrong way of perceiving your journey. What is important is what intentions lie in your heart. Maybe being aware of what words you say may not be as difficult as the next person, but the point isn't geared to stop saying profanity or slang. Just understand the power your approach with words can have on the next individual, even yourself.

Try going one day, where nothing that would be considered self-deprecating or negative is uttered. A solid 24 hours. Being aware of such things we don't notice can heighten our awareness of other things such as listening and perception of other's views. We have much work and a lot of time. One step first.

Peace and Love,

Carmelita

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Additional sources:

Zahed, Dr. Hyder. “The Power of Spoken Words.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 13 Feb. 2015, www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-hyder-zahed/the-power-of-spoken-words_b_6324786.html.