Guide to Making a Decision

A decision is like choosing between butter or cream cheese on your bagel

It may seem like there are only two option an either/or situation but there is more to it than that oversimplified version. You could choose not to put either on or both or choose jelly instead or even opt out the bagel for something more healthier. The possibilities are endless.  

Bottom line making a decision is hard and if it’s this hard to choose what to put on a bagel imagine now more complex choices you would have to make for yourself such as lifestyle, career, relationships, and time schedules. These decision may seem like a daunting task. 

Now, before you go freaking out. Realize you have the power within you to make these choices and make them in your best interest for you and succeed at them. All it takes is one small step at a time. 

You are capable of solving all of your problems. 

It first starts with you believing that you deserve to make up your own mind. That it’s a right in your life. If you don’t value yourself and believe you are capable of choosing then it will be very difficult for you to take the necessary steps to decide. You may lean on others judgement for your life than your own. You may think you can’t trust your decisions based off of prior things you had done in your past. 

Second, it’s about trusting yourself and your intuition. Your intuition is built as your gut instinct to lead you without truly knowing where the answer came from as it’s pulled from your unconscious which has been observing the world through the lenses of your eyes and your past experiences and has a pretty good grip on certain situations and how they will pan out. Now taking your intuition and throwing some logic in there really sets you up for a good decision in my book.  

Third, it’s about choosing what is in the best interest for you. Decisions are part of it but there is also trusting your own judgement, taking initiative, asking for help when you need it, setting goals and achieving them. 

So making a decision isn’t so simple and it takes a lot of effort and thinking on your part. There are many variables that get in the way and some obstacles you must face to reach your goal. Little by little you will start to reach that and when you do the trust and love you provide yourself with towards those baby steps will start to lead you to your big goals. You will find it very rewarding each time you reach your expectations.

You will start to feel more free, more in control. The world around you will make more sense. 

The How

Set yourself up for small wins. This will help you build trust and confidence in yourself to tackle the larger goals you have. 

Choose a small goal something you know you can accomplish(washing the dishes, cleaning your room, singing in the shower) set a deadline for when it must be done and stick to it. Sticking to your goals will provide rewards that will help reinforce the behavior towards trusting yourself to make decisions for you. 

This will take some time and there will be some obstacles that will stand in your way as you work to improve yourself. 

I would suggest writing in a journal for a week or so. Write out each one of these and observe your behavior:

The situations that trouble you(Asking someone out, saving money, buying something you want but might not need)

The attitude around it. How do you feel about this situation? Are you happy, sad, indifferent? Do you think you have a right to deal with this? Do you feel anxious?

How do you act/behave? Do you avoid eye contact? Do you try everything in your power to avoid someone or something? How is your tone of voice happy, friendly, angry? 

Obstacles: After evaluating the situation what do you think is standing in the way of you handling this?

Progress, problems, and comments to help keep track of where you are at with this situation. 

Here is something to do next to deepen your decision and start planning it into your life. 

Place your idea of what you wish to do down on paper

1. Consider alternative ways this could also happen and write those down too

2. Consider the benefits to your life and the advantages and disadvantages that would occur with these ideas. What is the best outcome?

3. Ask yourself how do you feel about this idea? Are you excited? Can you envision it now? 

4. Ask the five W’s and how. Who is involved? What is required? When does it happen? Where does it happen? Why do I want this? How has others done this in the past?

5. Now is the tricky part imagine yourself telling a friend or parent or stranger your idea. How do you feel? Anxious? Excited? Loss for words? This is normal and totally part of working on asserting yourself. 

After reading this I hope you found some insight on decision making. If you have any questions or would like a more in-depth on this please feel free to contact me.

All the Best on Your Journey.

-S