For Those Who Retreat When Life Gets Tough

I never liked being alone, but for some reason, I’m always on my own; not because I’m a loner myself, but because I choose to self-isolate when everything just feels like a lot to handle. Coming from a person whose love language includes quality time, I find it difficult to ignore the urge to just disappear after every minor inconvenience in my life. I crave love and attention yet I distance myself when I’m having a hard time.

Most of the time, people who are great listeners are also the ones who don’t have anyone to turn to when life’s being a bummer to them. They tend to be there for everyone else and yet are always absent when it comes to their own needs. But they’re also the ones who push people away because, to them, their own problems are a burden to themselves, especially to others. And so they choose to feel it alone.

These kinds of people are the most dangerous as they’re very good at pretending; pretending to be fine, pretending to have things under control when, in reality, they’re struggling to even get out of bed. They put on a brave face, maintain a smile, and offer a shoulder to cry on, all while dealing with their own internal battles.

I’m still learning not to vanish, but I do admit it’s not an easy process. I still have the desire to be alone when I’m upset. But oh, it must be nice to be heard without having to say a word. To be seen and understood without the need to explain every nuance of your feelings. Nonetheless, people are not mind readers; they can’t scan our thoughts and find out what has been bothering us.

“Communication is the key,” they say. But I think communication AND comprehension are both essential towards understanding. Effective communication requires not just speaking, but also the ability to listen and comprehend what the other person is going through. They won’t know if we don’t tell them. Of course, who doesn’t want to be understood, right? However, being the understanding one is just as important as being understood.

Read More: A Woman’s Disturbing Discovery After Nine Years with Her Gynecologist

We often alternate our perception of having to make people guess what we’re currently going through. From time to time, all we want is to be heard and understood, so consider yourself lucky if you have someone that chooses to stay, even if you walk away. Let yourself be heard this time, instead of constantly being the listener.

Life’s a pain in the butt, but we don’t always have to go through it alone. Though I do understand sometimes all we have is ourselves, and God. It’s comforting to know that, despite feeling isolated, we are never truly alone in our struggles. There is always someone out there who can relate, who can understand, who has walked a similar path.

So to the people who disappear as their coping mechanism, give yourself a chance to be understood. Be kind to yourself. It’s important to recognize your worth and understand that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s. Be nice to yourself, speak kind words to yourself, forgive yourself, as you would to others. Give yourself love as much as you give love to others. Your own needs are priorities as well.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable. It’s okay to let your guard down and share your burdens with those you trust. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a testament to your strength and your willingness to connect with others on a deeper level. By opening up, you allow others to see your true self, and in turn, they may feel more comfortable sharing their own struggles with you.

Finding a balance between being a supportive friend and taking care of your own emotional needs is crucial. It’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes. In fact, it’s necessary for your well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure to refill yours regularly.

Read More: Do You Remember the World’s Youngest Mother?

Building a support system is also vital. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who encourage you, and who remind you of your worth. These are the people who will be there for you when you feel like disappearing, who will hold your hand and walk with you through the tough times.

Take time to practice self-care. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, hobbies, or simply taking a break from the chaos of life, find what brings you peace and make it a priority. Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with your emotions in a healthy way. There is no shame in seeking help; it’s a courageous step towards healing.

To everyone who feels the need to disappear when things get tough, know that you are not alone. There are people who care about you, who want to see you happy and thriving. Allow yourself to be seen, to be heard, and to be loved.

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Embrace your emotions, cherish your connections, and always remember to be kind to yourself. You are worthy of love, understanding, and happiness.

Read More: Why Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco Kept their Relationship Secret