Why is there suffering?

When we talk about cancer, we can't talk about a standard psychological reaction to the diagnosis, but for the most part it's a shock. An amalgam of emotions and reactions rush to hear the dreaded ²C² from intense fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, helplessness, uncontrollable crying, confusion, anger, guilt to an emotional numbness in which you can't even express yourself. What is certain is that a diagnosis of cancer will affect man both physically, psychologically, socially and spiritually.

Cognitive patterns of adaptation and coping talk about how we interpret this stressful and / or traumatic event will determine how we respond to it. (Lazarus & Folkman 1984; Folkman and Greer 2000). Diagnosis threatens the most fundamental assumptions about life. These deep-rooted beliefs in ourselves, be they about the world, life, relationships, suddenly raise a number of questions. Some of these issues that are being questioned are universal, others are very personal. The primary assumption is that a catastrophic life-threatening illness has suddenly appeared and is like a death sentence. Hence the question, "Why?" "Why, my God?" ", "Why now?".

"Why?"

Road paved with suffering and pain. This is how many patients can describe their struggle with this disease. How do I adapt to this situation? How do I understand why I have to suffer, to come here, why did God give me this disease? What have I done? What didn't I do and how did I get here? Is there a God? Is He Really Good? Did he look at me? Why suffering? We ask questions about divinity and begin this process of understanding suffering through spiritual eyes. Religion and God? What do I think? What do religions say about suffering?

If suffering were not real, most religions in the world would not exist. If the suffering were not real, the skeptic would not have objected to theism. The reality of suffering is inevitable. ⁇

Buddhism

Gautama Buddah was born and lived as Prince Siddharta Gautama between 624 and 536 BC. in today's Nepal. When he grows up, he decides to venture outside the palace, where he faces the shocking reality of illness and death. In response to all this, he concludes that a life of giving up and eliminating pain is needed, the source of the pain being in desire. The 4 noble truths listed by him are:

Life is full of suffering and problems that we encounter everywhere.

The source of suffering lies in our lust, our desires, and our attachment to this world.

The release of suffering consists in the annihilation of desires

The annihilation of desires is done on the Eight-Armed Path and involves emotional, mental and physical exercises meant to perfect a correct vision, correct intention, correct action, a correct feeling, a correct effort, a correct attention and a correct meditation.

Progress on this path eventually leads to nirvana, an enlightened stage of detachment from the world and suffering and liberation from the cycle of birth and rebirth. Thus we can say that Buddhism admits the existence of evil but the solution offered is not to face it but to detach from it to the state of nirvana. The question we can raise is whether this state of annihilation of desires is not itself a state of lethargy or apathy, and whether the suppression of our desires and needs is indeed an answer. After all, the annihilation of desire is itself a desire.

Hinduism

Generally speaking, Hindus either worship several finite gods (the polytheistic form), or a single infinite god (the pantheistic form), or a combination of the two. In its polytheistic form, good and evil are the result of the constant struggle of about 30 million gods, including both good and evil gods. In its pantheistic form, good and evil belong to an inferior, physical world of illusion (maya), and we need to transcend into a higher spiritual reality called Brahman, which is above this good and evil. Brahman is infinite, impersonal, that is, he is not a being to be asked "Why?" Questions, humans being extensions of Brahman. The essence of pantheism is that everything is god and god is everything. To merge with Brahman,

The problem we have to face is that if evil and good are really an illusion, why do we see and feel it in our daily lives? If all evil and good are one and the same, is it possible to live as if there is no difference between love and crime, disease and health?

Islam

Islam is a monotheistic religion that believes in one all-encompassing God. The central premise of this religion is unquestioning obedience. In other words, good and evil in human life appear as a result of Allah's desire, and the state of contentment or "wrinkle" appears as a result of accepting what Allah gives. Wrinkle is a positive state of mind, cultivated and transcending external circumstances, the suffering being transformed into something positive. If I am healthy it is from Allah, if I am sick it is from Allah, and I must be content. In other words, it is a religion based on cause and effect, suffering always being a consequence of a mistake, and the punishment being received from Allah must be received with gratitude. In Islam, martyrdom becomes the idealization of suffering.

The question we can ask ourselves is: Is it the answer to suffering to thank an impersonal god, even when we are not to blame for its occurrence?

Christianity

Unlike all other religions, the God of Christians is a personal and loving God. All religions speak of God or gods who either give suffering or deny it, the God of Christians is the only God who is said to have suffered as a human being all that is human, betrayal, loneliness and ultimately death. Christians' approach to suffering is to look at the problem of evil.

Yes, suffering is part of life. Yes, the suffering is real, it is not something we want, it is often so painful and overwhelming that we can't seem to cope with it. In the face of suffering we often remain silent. We cannot ignore suffering, we cannot sometimes remove it, and we cannot force ourselves to suppress it. Suffering is something we all experience as human beings, at different levels of depth. Trying to think positively, ignore what I feel and suppress everything with other types of emotions and completely opposite thoughts of what I feel will not make it disappear completely.

Christianity's response to suffering was that of relationship, God wanting a relationship with man, one of which to redeem his death and suffering, descends and takes upon himself disease, sin and suffering dying once and for all.

In the darkest and most painful moments of our lives, what we are really looking for and what we need is not a rational answer, an argument, it is not a fixed reason why we suffer (after all, in terms of the disease, it helps us to do we know exactly why we got cancer? Is there anything we can do now to alter the past?), but it is a response to the relationship. In the most difficult times we need a person who does not point the finger at the causes, nor insufficient answers to the question "Why me?" But a loving heart, a warm presence, an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. feel the pain we are going through.

The existence of suffering in the world does not deny the existence of a God. The existence of pain was created as a benefit in our lives, namely: if we did not physically feel a pain we would not know that something is sick in our body. If pain has meaning and functionality for our lives, created in order to save us from dying suddenly without knowing that it is a physical problem, I can only say that suffering is also allowed for human purpose. God does not give man sickness and suffering as God does to Muslims, and does not promise to answer the question "why?" . Our perspective in this light is like a puzzle piece: at the moment I see a suffering and a problem for which I do not have the total image of what the puzzle will look like in the end. The image may begin to take shape only in time,

If we look at the well-known story of Job in the Scriptures, we see a pattern of God's response to suffering. It is said of Job that in a very short time he lost his wealth, his family (his 10 children) and his health. In the lowest images of pain and suffering, Job sat in the ashes and scratched his scaly body with a shard. Job's three friends were debating the reason for this curse, looking for the cause of his misfortune, often blaming Job for something he had done. His wife also begged him to renounce God, to curse him in order to escape misery. Both Job and God knew that his suffering was not caused by anything that Job did, for he was considered righteous. The whole book is a dialogue between Job and his friends, as well as between Job and God. We often see Job expressing emotions, including anger toward God, in trying to make sense of confusion, suffering, and loss. God does not remain deaf and dumb but invites Job to continue this dialogue and so we see a God who responds to man's suffering through the relationship created. God's answer at the end of the book is this:

And the LORD answered Job out of the midst of the storm, and said, Who is this that darkeneth my counsel by words without understanding? Heat yourselves like a brave man, so that I may ask you, and you may teach me. Where were you when I founded the earth? Say, if you're good at it.

Since when are you, have you ordered the mornings? You showed their place at dawn, "

Job 38: 1-4, 12 VDC

"Are you entrusted now with speaking against the Almighty? Do you, who rebuke God, have any answer? ”

Do you want to destroy even My justice? And condemn me, that thou mayest be justified? Do you have an arm like God and a voice like thunder? ”

Job 40: 2, 8-9 VDC

Job's answer was this :

"I know that You can do anything and that nothing can stand against Your thoughts."

- "Who is the one who has the madness to darken My plans?"

- "Yes, I spoke, without understanding them, of miracles that are above me and that I do not understand." - ”

Job 42: 2-3 VDC

In other words, God did not give Job the answer to the question, "Why?" the thoughts which I have concerning you, saith the Lord, are thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and hope: Jeremiah 29:11), and His power is infinite (he tells Job about how he created the universe). Although God allows suffering in our lives, He reminds us of His good, loving, and righteous character no matter the times, and invites us to relate to Him in spite of the emotions we feel either in His face or in our suffering. God does not despise a broken heart. he knows the suffering and wants to alleviate it. At the end of the book, Job receives a double measure of all that he has lost, and above all, a deeper knowledge of God and a peace that could not be offered by any of his arguments or theories.

Suffering is the general consequence of living in a broken world that affects us all. Even Christians have personal tragedies and sufferings (so we can say that in Christianity we do not have the absolution of suffering), they also sometimes feel the feeling of injustice going through a series of human and natural emotional reactions. Sometimes suffering and illness are caused by ourselves, other times it is a consequence of the degenerate broken world. But if we ask ourselves: Is God to blame? What would I answer? I consider the following poem according to these questions:

Long silence.

At the end of time, billions of people were scattered across a huge plain before God's throne. Most of them backed away from the blinding light. Some, however, in the front, had a heated discussion - not out of shame, but in a belligerent tone.

"How can God judge us?" What does He know about suffering? ” a brunette-haired young woman snapped. He tore his sleeve to reveal a tattooed number on his arm from the Nazi concentration camp.

"We endured a real terror… beatings… torture… death! ”

In another group, a black boy pulled down his shirt collar.

"But what about that?" he asks, pointing to the rope.

"I was lynched… for the crime of being black!"

From another group, a pregnant schoolgirl, frowning, mutters gloomily:

"Why should I suffer? It wasn't my fault. "

Hundreds of such groups were scattered throughout the plain. Everyone had a complaint before God about the evil and suffering he had allowed in this world. How lucky God was to live in heaven, where everything was wonderful and bright, where there was no complaint, no fear, no hunger, no hatred. What did God know about all the things that man had to endure? That only God leads a comfortable life, they said. So each group sent a leader, who they chose based on how much they had suffered. A Jew, a black man, a person from Hiroshima, a man suffering from arthritis, with physical deformities and a child born with malformations. They met in the middle of the plain, where they consulted and finally declared themselves ready to argue their case. He was pretty smart.

Before God could qualify as a judge, He had to endure all that they had endured. So they decided that God should be condemned to live on earth - as a human being!

"To be born a Jew. Let him see what it is like to question the legitimacy of your own existence. To give him a hard job, so hard that even his family will think he has lost his mind when I see why he wants to start. Let him be betrayed by his best friends. Let him also be unjustly accused, be judged by corrupt jurors, and be condemned by a cowardly judge. To be tortured. And finally, let Him see what it's like to be completely alone. Then let Him die. To die, so that there is no doubt that he died. Witnesses should be present to verify the information. "

When they had finished what they had to say, there was a long silence. No one said a word. Nobody moved anymore. For they all knew that God had already served his sentence.

The God of Christians is therefore a God of the relationship who suffers with His creation out of love without limits or conditions. God helps us to go through suffering not only over it. "God knows that one day He will soon deliver us from suffering. He knows that the state He can lead us to is one of great joy, and He knows that from the perspective of eternity, our proportion will be in the midst of suffering. it will be remembered as a "blink" at the beginning of our existence. " (Vince Vitale - idea from The Magnitude, Duration, and Distribution of Evil: A Theodicy by Peter van Inwagen).

What else can we say about suffering?

I said that it is universal, real, felt by all people in different ways and that it needs a need after the relationship. Well, the subject of suffering is vast and has been approached since the beginning of the world in different ways and with different questions. What we know and can say is that:

Suffering is real, universal and incomparable. We are often tempted to compare our suffering with that of others, but the truth is that suffering has no term of comparison but only the measure of the cries of a need after relief. Suffering has this attribute of subjectivity that gives it the status of the impossibility of a comparison with other people. Some suffering is deeper and some is deeper. What is certain is that suffering is part of life in its various forms. It is easy to give answers when it comes to someone else's pain and it is very difficult to argue and philosophize when it comes to yours.

Suffering needs a purpose to make sense. When we talk about meaning in all the amalgam of negative emotions, pain, sickness and suffering, suffering raises the question “What is my purpose? "Who am I," "What do I believe," "Who can I rely on?" ”. Definitions of human value and love are either lost, blurred, or trivialized. Without purpose, suffering cannot be explained. Without love, we cannot know the meaning of life. ”(Why is there suffering? Vince Vitale and Ravi Zacharias). CS Lewis made an analogy with a castle of playing cards in his moments of mourning. Sometimes something strong is needed to bring down what we have built if what we have built is unstable in life and too fragile. When we think about the people we value, when we look at their lives and all their joys, the sorrows and sufferings they went through we can only look at and ask ourselves: if I were to remove all burdens, sufferings and pains and sacrifices… .who would these people be today? I would appreciate them just as much. Wanting to erase the possibility of evil and suffering without realizing how much good would be erased with it.

Suffering can be a way of knowing. Not all knowledge is propositional, argumentative, and easy to put on paper. Part of the knowledge is subjective, acquired through a personal relationship. The experience of suffering is different when you do not go through it alone, so the sharing of suffering brings with it hope.

Our suffering a broader perspective on life. The story consists of individual stories, each with a personal note and its own meanings that later give a broader perspective on life. Tears are part of our story. Each story, if they were all summed up, would ask the following question: Which of the perspectives is correct? Every religion offers one. We who own it?

Our suffering a signal.Our negative emotions, pain and suffering can be a sign of a problem. When something hurts physically, all our attention is focused on the area to signal the need to solve the problem. It is important to understand that all of these can be signals not an ultimate reality. Just because I feel bad today doesn't mean I'm going to feel just as bad for the rest of my life. Suffering takes physical or relational, internal form. Thus, inner suffering, which arises from relationships, often signals a pain of unforgiveness: be it of the self, of one's neighbor, or of the need for reconciliation and forgiveness that come in relation to God. Numerous psychological studies attest to the importance of forgiveness for its psychological benefits, in order to increase well-being, quality of life and stress relief, including physical benefits. (Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health Toussaint, LL, Worthington, EL, & Williams, DR, 2015. Forgiveness and Spirituality in Psychotherapy: A Relational Approach , Worthington, EL, Jr., & Sandage, SJ, 2015).

Greer and Watson (1987) identify 5 common adaptation styles in cancer patients:

1. The fighting spirit

2. Avoidance and denial

3. Fatalism

4. Helplessness and hopelessness

5. Anxious concern

How we react and how we adapt to the diagnosis, how we embrace this reality of our illness and suffering is determined by how we process information and what assumptions strengthen or break down our lives. So, even if the question "Why?" if not answered the following questions arise:

What will I do now?

Is this what I think is a castle of playing cards or a solid foundation? What do I think?

Does my suffering make sense?

How will my story continue? What end do I want to have?

Daniela Ricean,

Clinician Psychologist

Bibliography

Moorey, S., Greer, S., & Greer, S. (2002). Cognitive behavior therapy for people with cancer (pp. 3-24). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Lazarus, RS, & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping . Springer publishing company.

Folkman, S., & Greer, S. (2000). Promoting psychological well-being in the face of serious illness: when theory, research and practice inform each other. Psycho ‐ Oncology: Journal of the Psychological, Social and Behavioral Dimensions of Cancer , 9 (1), 11-19.

Greer, S., & Watson, M. (1987). Mental adjustment to cancer: its measurement and prognostic importance. Cancer Surveys , 6 (3), 439-453.

Toussaint, LL, Worthington, ELJ, & Williams, DR (2015). Forgiveness and health . Springer Netherlands.

Worthington Jr, EL, & Sandage, SJ (2016). Forgiveness and spirituality in psychotherapy: A relational approach . American Psychological Association.

Peter van Inwagen The Magnitude, Duration, and Distribution of Evil: A Theodicy

CS Lewis Why, my God? An X-ray of Suffering (1961), Humanitas Publishing House

Sharon Drickx Why? On God, Evil and Personal Suffering (2013), New Word Press Publishing House

Vince Vitale and Ravi Zacharias Why is there suffering? He finds meaning and comfort when life has no meaning.