Shades of life

Shades of life

Hues of your day

What is it?

How does it play out through you?

Is it even relevant for you?

Some would say no and dismiss this completely never giving a thought to the moments of each day.

Awareness and being in the moment is not something many people do, it isn't something they have any awareness of, they live out their days on an emotional rollercoaster without ever stopping to ask themselves why or what sparked that outburst. For others, it is an emotionless life as they have trained themselves to shut down and be numb to everything around them.

Others, aren’t emotional beings and can see things from a factual place. These are rare people and from my perspective, I envy anyone with that unique ability.

The saying you can’t unknow something once you know it is true at least for me it is.

When I first began to look within myself and came to awareness that my emotions drove me not me driving them, I wondered why I internalised for so long then inevitably something would bring about my outbursts.

I need fixing!

Im Broken!

Were my continued thoughts

Yep, you heard me

I felt I needed fixing so naturally as we are trained to do, I began looking outside of myself for the answers.

Others always have opinions and judgements so someone somewhere will have the answer.

Well, that didn’t and doesn't work.

No one can fix you but you and judgements usually are a good way to have your emotional triggers activated.

So how do I fix me?

I don't no matter what internal process I use I can't be fixed!

It appeared to me that I was faulty and for a long time, I believed it.

Do you believe you're faulty?

You’re not! I’ll say it again You’ are Not broken or faulty!

That's why I don't have to fix myself I'm not BROKEN or FAULTY

That was my revelation and at this time I also discovered my emotional Human design bodygraph what a turning point.

In that moment the mists parted and the shades of my emotional beingness became clearer I am not faulty or broken, I am an emotional being.

Wow!

This took me on a journey of discovery around food, chemicals, spices, herbs and how we not only ingest but absorb things into our system.

There are as many reasons for making us emotional as there are people on the planet but what I've learnt is that whatever the reason if it isn’t aligned with our body/system it can make us feel sadness discomfort, alone, depression, anxious, it can have physical effects on our breathing or our joints, inflammation, and skin rashes, just to name a few.

Food intolerances and food allergies are real and I believe they play a big part in our daily emotional reactions.

Certain foods or spices, will react on my system, physically, emotionally and my mental health.

It’s all linked and an ongoing process of awareness

So that leaves the ever-present question, is it worth having?

So many of these revelations became known to me over the past 3 years and that has led me to shades of life.

The emotional ways we feel and express or do not express ourselves is part of our conditioning.

I began seeing different shades in my life as different physical seasons rolled around but also my own life seasons. As I am now in my 6th decade and approaching the winter of my life an awareness began to bloom that so many of the emotional waves I experience can be seen through layers or mists of different light.

Shadows are as we know just an absence of light and light or sunshine is an absence of shadow, one cannot be without the other.

So why then are we taught or conditioned to be afraid of expressing our emotions and of the shades in our own lives?

We are told to suck it up and deal with it, shit happens, life happens, no one wants to see your emotions, keep your fears to yourself and stop being a sook. I’m sure you have many of your own that you have heard and experienced, I will add here that this may not be the norm now but in older generations it certainly was.

Bring the kids up tough keep them shut down and the parents won't have to deal with emotions they themselves don’t know how to deal with or express.

What comes to mind is at a certain age as children begin to be aware of their surroundings and their emotions and fears start to surface that they will sometimes become afraid of the dark and the deep shadows under the bed or in the closet. Do they learn this from others and from things they watch? I believe they do but I also believe that it's part of our generational heritage its passed down through the narratives of parents, caregivers, teachers and the media to children whether to scare the kids or to make them brave I don’t know but it seems to be something that children experience as part of their growing and learning.

(As a side note scaremongering at any age is real, just watch the way news and stories are portrayed using music to hit our emotions.)

Were you one of those kids that were afraid of the dark?

Is this where our adult anxieties start?

Is this linked to foods or substances that are already present in their daily lives or is it passed down through the DNA, again I don’t know I don’t have answers, I’m not a scientist or a Dr, I’m just someone who observes and likes to reflect on things.

So what if we changed things up and taught our children about shades and shadows of life and how looking into the closet or under the bed with a light could show them a magickal world of mist and joy. A place for their imagination to be alive and how they can draw, paint or tell stories about what they see. make this a curiosity, not a fear.

As I write this I am becoming increasingly aware how in my own frustration and overwhelm at times I will say things like stop your sooking to my young grandson or that he is too loud or too over the top. Not my finer moments.

We are conditioned from a young age by the projections and shades of the daily lives of others.

As these people haven’t been allowed to show emotions or taught to be curious about their emotions but to stuff them down, they follow the pattern and project their emotions onto others. This I believe perpetuates the ongoing collective human teaching that we are all faulty if we are emotional.

Yet when you look around at today’s world, there are groups, circles, retreats, bonding and all manner of things to help us heal.

What if through this process we begin to look at our shades of life and how we react and connect to others?

We are so separated and separate from each other, we no longer live in villages or tribes in Western society we live in boxes and most never speak to their neighbours, heck many are disconnected from their own families.

I believe that seeing and embracing our own emotions and learning to be honest about how we are feeling and learning to express those feelings in the healthiest way possible is the start to changing how future generations will be able to express themselves and how they can experience their own shades of life, not through fear and outburst but through positive words and actions not projecting onto others to make themselves feel better but to truly have the key to their own joy, happiness, gratitude and how they live their own life.

We are all unique, we are in a time of reconnecting and rediscovering our uniqueness, our souls and our acceptance of self and learning to live positively without fears of judgement and bullying.

We are multifaceted soul beings rediscovering our soulful spirit and our love of being connected.

As I wrap this up I leave you with one last insight.

What if what we are looking for is the unconditional love and connection that comes from within us all that we don’t need to look without only within, have we been denying this to ourselves and everyone else?

What if by awakening to the awareness of our own emotions and the way we nonjudgmentally feel about that we begin to shift into seeing through the mists into the shades of who we are?

This is my reflection! I am an everyday person like you having everyday emotional highs and lows, challenges and navigating daily family life.

May you be filled with curiosity about your own Shades of Life.

If you want to experience the Shades of emotional rollercoasters I have a poetry book on Amazon called Shades of Life.

You can click the links provided.

Amazon Link https://a.co/d/5VtwYkC

Amazon Au Link https://amzn.asia/d/frZGXNd

Ebook format available from the publisher store https://ebooks.bookleafpub.com/product-page/shades-of-life-3