Not Your Mother’s Christianity

Many people in the western world-specifically young people-are turning away from Christianity.

After years of bigots and anti-LGBTQ+/ anti-feminism, etc beliefs being tied into the religion, how could you blame them?

Of course, you'll have your old-school fundamentalists that call them weak-minded. You'll hear boomers declare them "too woke." You'll see "end-times" believers proclaim this is, in fact, the end.

You'll watch Fox News laugh and claim these people are lashing out at Good Old Fashioned American Christianity™️ in order to get back at their parents (whose poor treatment and abusive interpretations are somehow blamed upon the children, but I digress).

But there is one important question at the center of this controversy: Why?

Not only is this question not being asked, but if it is, it's rarely asked to those who are leaving-the people who really have the answers.

Well, more like the answer to said question isn't being listened to.

Christians have all sorts of explanations for why people are walking away from faith at an alarming rate, and nearly every answer has to do with pointing the finger of blame at the person.

But if we dig deep, if we listen to those who choose to leave the faith, we may learn something new.

We'll hear the painful stories of abuse, of abandonment, of exclusion. We'll hear how Christians have used ugly behavior thinly wrapped in theology with weak justification.

Unfortunately, many believers don't want to learn something new.

We may learn how Christians are to blame. We will see how the Church has been abusive. We will hear how God has been twisted into a force of hatred and used to support harm.

So, it's much easier to leave our heads buried in the sand, blame others, and create an "Us vs. Them."

It separates believers from "those people."

It doesn't require us to look deeper into our own motives, sins, or concerning behaviors.

Christians either dig their heels into bigotry, citing God and Scripture as an excuse for their behavior, or quietly duck their heads, avoiding confrontation like the plague.

But if we have the courage and the desire to listen to these people we may learn something entirely different.

We might discover a new side of God that we didn't think existed.

We will have to take ourselves off of our pedestal, but isn't that exactly what Jesus wants from us?

I mean, the God who washed the feet of fisherman certainly wouldn't mind his followers actually following his example.

Why write this? Why read this?

Because I was that person.

We like to cite the story of Jesus abandoning the 99 for the 1 when we're the 1 (Luke 15:4). We find it a little unbearable when we're apart of the 99-especially if the 1 is different from what we were taught to believe it's okay.

When I was 14, my body began to disintegrate in my hands. This, combined with bullying and an abusive home environment, was too much to bear.

After years of torture from every possible angle, I walked away from God. I couldn't bear it.

This God was supposed to love me, but he let me endure extreme pain.

Before this, during the years I was growing up, my one solace was the local church I attended. Yet, after family drama, my trusted mentorstossed me out on my ear.

I felt lost and abandoned.

Like so many other people who've experienced this-and like the Bible specifically says-what Christians do, and how they treat people, is directly representative of God.

These people I thought were my home away from home, my family, so easily washed their hands of me. How was that any different from God?

So, at 20, the year my mother left my father, I left religion. My heart was broken.

The one hope I had clung to all those years seemed pointless. God let me suffer and His people treated me like I was disposable, so why stick around?

This doesn't even begin to mention the affect of religious people on the ones I love - how homophobia drove them away.

How the Church blamed my mother for my father's abuse and pressured her to stay (and keep her children) in a toxic environment.

It all came down to this: if these people were representations of God, I wanted nothing to do with Him.

I imagine many people feel the same.

Years of rejection, judgement, harassment and downright abuse from Christians has driven people away by the thousands.

In fact, many people are fans of Jesus' message, but disgusted by Christianity.

It is the people who drive them away.

The ones Christ commanded to be "fishers of men" are dropping dynamite in the water.

We can't be surprised when all the "fish' swim away.

So what does this mean?

We need to be quiet and we need to listen. We need to stop justifying our behaviors like kids covering their ears and actually review what we believe.

We need to challenge where some of our ideas come from. We need to check who we're listening to-who we are letting tell us what the Bible says and means.

If you have the courage to, you might discover God in a way you never have.