More Feline, Less Canine

I’ve got a significant birthday coming up.

I am what they call an elder millennial. My algorithm likes to pepper my feed with memes about women of a certain age who stopped giving a fuck about what other people think about them. And I must say, it’s very appealing. As a recovering people pleaser, I have an unfortunate abundance of fucks. I’m looking forward to the moment when my fucks run out.

I’ll speak my mind even when it’s dangerous. I’ll do what I want when I want like a boss. Forget chasing the fountain of youth. Forget the male gaze. I want to be witchy and wild, dancing disheveled in the moonlight. Time to get in touch with my inner weirdo.

I wonder how it will happen. Is it a conscious decision? Is it a natural chemical process, or will I be visited by some menopausal tooth fairy who collects all my remaining fucks from under my pillow whilst I sleep? Maybe I’ll shit them out after drinking the colonoscopy prep juice.

What does this have to do with cats and dogs?

I’m no animal behaviorist, but I have owned both cats and dogs.

• First there was the family tabby the therapist recommended to help calm my hyperactive little brother (it didn’t work).

• The first dog that my husband and I adopted together was a mini Poodle named Fozzie. He passed away from cancer. We still miss him.

• Our second dog was a Beagle named Donut. He’s living with a new family now. It’s a long story. Maybe I’ll be brave enough to tell it one day.

• Our current pet is a three year old cat named Panini.

Dogs want to earn our affection. They’ll beg and do tricks for treats or validation. They are devastated when you leave and elated when you return. Anxious little drama queens.

Cats do their own thing. They enjoy affection when they initiate it. They like attention, but only on their own terms.

Cats set boundaries to protect their inner peace. They’ll will walk away if they’re not interested or if the vibes are off. These creatures are totally self-possessed.

As someone who has always been very concerned about being likable, the idea of prioritizing my own needs over someone else’s kind of terrifies me.

I don’t even like unlikable people disliking me. I want everybody to be happy and calm, and if I have to be uncomfortable to achieve that, so be it. I will make that sacrifice.

I would like that to change. I used to think that if I started prioritizing my own needs, people will find me unlikable. But now I recognize this notion is false.

People who love you for being a doormat are not your friends.

The cat never pines for my approval like the dog did, yet I still love him.

Dog lovers say that dogs are easier to love because they give their owners unconditional love on demand.

I don’t think that cat people would disagree. I think they enjoy earning a cat’s love. Maybe they feel it’s more special that way. And conversely, maybe they don’t want their pet to be such a brown-noser.

I consider myself a fan of both cats and dogs, but as I get older, I’d like to be more like my cat, because he seems much more relaxed than any of my dogs.

There’s a reason a lot of women feel a kinship with cats. Maybe the crazy cat lady isn’t so crazy after all.

And in conclusion - MEOW, MOTHAFUCKAS! 🐱🤘

Did you know?

• Cats are more genetically similar to humans than dogs are.

• Cats have a free floating collarbone so they can fit into any space wide enough for their head.

• A cat’s purr vibrates at the same frequency that muscles and bones repair themselves.

• A group of 3 or more cats is called a clowder.

• A group of 3 or more kittens is called a kindle.