Life of Isolation

Just like everyone else in the world, I did not see this day coming. It is as if my surrounding went silent. This pandemic was taking the world by storm. Even though, going into quarantine would allow students like myself to get more rest and comfortably work from home, I still felt the dread of how different my life would be. It was at this moment when I realized how much we took our lives for granted. Anyone could have their life taken due to this pandemic if they did not take heed to the news that they received. The scariest thing that I had witnessed was how fast items in the store started to disappear. Items that did not seem so important, are now so difficult to come across. The world I once knew is no longer.

Social distancing did not seem like an issue to me considering the fact that I am so used to being alone. What I failed to realize is that being alone for a long period of time, is not as fun as it seems. Being alone allows for one’s thoughts to sometimes become very loud and haunting. This creates self-doubt and anxiety. Originally, my way of getting away from my thoughts was spending time with my theater friends and hanging out. Theater itself was my escape from my reality. Now I have nowhere left to go but to manage them on my own. Many nights pass with me looking for a way to distract myself from the self-doubt and fears that haunt me. Fortunately, I have a wonderful support system that is with me through these hard times.

They are only a phone call away. Who knew that the most simple action could soon be the most difficult and riskiest move. We all took traveling for granted. No one suspected that a big part of our freedom would be taken away. We lived day to day with the mindset that we could go anywhere whenever we want. Unfortunately, now we must be cautious, and it would be in our best interest to not travel at all. While I do not travel as much as most, this pandemic has brought it to my attention that my medical needs may have to be put on hold. It is not safe to go to the doctor's offices as it could be very risky for anyone who is avoiding the virus. Not only that, I realized that my beloved boy band BTS will no longer be performing for a while. Like myself, many fans are very devastated. Nevertheless, I truly desire for my idols to be safe as well as myself and other fans in the world. My family and I are very much used to me always being away from home, but that was also with the mindset that I could come home at any point. None of us considered the thought that I may have to limit how much I would be able to see my family. I cannot remember the last time I had slept in my warm, soft bed. I can’t even remember what it was like to be in my room. I often daydream about sitting in my bed while watching many movies and my favorite shows. I daydream about my mom calling me for dinner or calling me to come help her cook. I also daydream about the family watching movies together in the living room. Then, I open my eyes, only to find myself back in my dorm room, by myself.

Life in isolation, has been a very strange experience. It has its pros but it also has its cons. The biggest fear that I have is that, this could very well become the new normal. There is no doubt that coronavirus has changed our lives drastically. Our once social life has now become a life of isolation. My mind often wonders if we will soon get bored with this new life.

Once that happens, what will we do next?