3rd Grade

I would not say that I had too many traumatic experiences throughout my childhood. I was a very content child that enjoyed spending time with my friends and family. I loved going to school every day to learn something new. In my family, I often got spoiled by my parents, grandpa, aunts and uncles, and even family friends. I always felt safe and happy. During this time, my mom and dad did drink. My mother was an alcoholic, but she was always a good mother to me and my brother. She used to ask me to pray that one day she will stop drinking because she wanted to be better. I took what she said to heart and I prayed every night. However, that is beside the point. My mom and dad had quite a few close friends that often came around and hung out with us. My parents trusted these friends with everything because they were like family. Never once did we fear or suspect things of them. Little did we know, the people who are closest to you, are the very ones that can harm you. I learned that in 3rd grade and this is my story.

Among the many friends that my parents had, there was one friend that shall remain unknown. He was very tall and every time he came to visit, he always brought me gifts and toys that I could play with. Before he met me, I only heard his name and saw him a few times, but then once he and I met, I noticed that he came around a lot more, sometimes unannounced. Back then we did not realize it, but this man was obsessed with me and constantly wanted to be around me. For a while, my mom stopped letting him come over but somewhere down the road he came around again. He did not seem like the same guy he was before, but we were still alert. Even though we were cautious, nothing prepared us for what happened on a school night. I believe it was a Sunday night and everyone had fallen asleep. During the day, he had visited us for a while. I remember the time being 2 o’clock in the morning. My chihuahua named ginger was sleeping next to my legs while my younger brother slept behind me. As I slept, I remember feeling my blanket being pulled off me. I shivered as the cool air hit my feet and legs. I reached to pull the blanket back thinking, it must have fallen, granted I was half asleep. As I tugged it, I realized that something was pulling back. I opened my eyes ever so slightly and instantly I froze. Hovering over me was a huge dark figure. For a bit I thought it was my dad kissing me goodbye before he went to work. However, I quickly found out that this was not the case. The figure that hovered over me, reached down to my legs. I instantly tried to squeeze my legs shut but I knew that if I kept it up, he would know that I was awake, so I let him push through. I remember how confused and uncomfortable I felt as this man touched me. When he was done, he kissed my cheek and forehead and whispered something. I knew then that it was the one friend that my family trusted most. I remembered smelling his cologne when he was close to my face. I laid there stunned and afraid until he left. I ran out to see if he was leaving and once I saw his jeep leave, I ran to my parent’s room and told them.

The next few days were a blur. I remember my parents, little brother and I, going to Searcy to talk to DHS. I did not know what that was or meant. I was not even sure why we were going. I remember being questioned a bit as they took my parents somewhere to talk to them. When I saw my parents again, I thought we were going home, until I looked up and saw mom crying. Her and dad hugged me and my brother tightly and I remember them saying, “Pray about this and be strong. Protect you and your brother at all cost. This will be over soon.” My heart broke into a million pieces and I felt scared. I held on tight to my parents without letting go. I could not leave them. As the DHS people began to separate us from our parents, I remember my brother and I shrieking and fighting to stay with my mom and dad. I screamed more when they did not reach out for us because they knew they had to let go. I was angry with myself and that man who touched me. I wished that I stayed quiet about it. Maybe if I did not say anything, my brother and I would not have been separated from my parents. I wish I could say that that was the end of my misery. I cried and held my brother as he cried himself to sleep. Eventually, I fell asleep but not for long when I was awakened by the person who had driven us to a new place. We went into this big house full of children and a nice family. It was cozy there and my brother liked the idea of playing video games. When the DHS worker talked to the family, she came and squatted in front of me. Once again, my heart shattered, and my world fell apart as this woman told me that my brother and I were being put in different places. Not only was I separated from my parents but now the one person I had left, was being taken from me. At this point, I was numb, and I did not have the will to keep fighting. All I could do was cry silently and hold my brother for the last time until who knows when.

My mind raced and I struggled to process everything that went on. The events of that night replayed over and over in my head as I rode in the back of the car for what seemed like hours. My tears continued to fall down my face and occasionally I could taste the saltiness of my tears. I stared out the window at the moon, wishing and praying that this was just a dream. I remember my body shaking as I cried begging and pleading to wake up from this terrible nightmare.