Hello all! I want to start writing a chain of articles dealing with how we handle grief and bereavement in this crazy world today; it's an inevitable fact that as humans we will all die eventually. I'm sorry to be blunt, but it's just something that we will all have to deal with. When I was 20 years old, I was thrown into this select group of kids who have lost a parent before they're old enough to rent a car. No one tells you what it's going to be like after one or more of your parents leaves the planet, but if I can drive one thing home, it's that through death there is life. Death is a natural game changer in our lives, and there is truth in that through death there is rebirth, so I would like introduce myself by sharing my experience with death.
Paige was our youngest daughter. Youngest of three, in fact. Julie and Michelle were in their early 20s and in college, starting at life. Kenan would be so proud. He used to say, “Thank the Lord for my beautiful black girls.” We buried him on Julie’s 21st birthday. The honor guard sounded their rifles, each shot shaking my insides. Then, they took the neatly-folded flag in white gloves and walked uniformly to me, and handed me the fabric for which Kenan had fought and died. And it was everything I could do, not to crumble. I had to be strong for my daughters.
Absolutely Perfectly Correct
Bear Heart Williams is a respected Road Man, holy man, and teacher among the Creek nation. He lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I met Bear Heart years ago and learned to call him “Uncle.” It is with great respect for him that I share his personal story of respect.
I've never been the sharing type. Not openly to people anyway, not unless they blatantly ask. It's not my style to be so bold. (See previous post on bottling up emotions :'D ) I like to write. Put pen to paper and get my thoughts out on the table for me to finally make sense of. In the absence of real privacy, I like to tap away at my laptop's keys and vent. I can save and change things then, and come back to them when I can think of a way to say what I mean. I don't like to delete and rewrite stuff I've already saved though, then I feel like I'm betraying the feelings I had in those moments. They were raw and real, and needed saying.
We experience many forms of loss in our lives. Loss of relationships, loss of time, and loss of loved ones. Loss is not easy. But it is a necessary part of our lives.
When I was younger, I remember, I didn’t believe in God.
I was just 25 years old when I lost both of my parents.
It was exactly a month before my 18th birthday when my brother got shot. 2 AM on the 1st of March we had police officers knocking on our front door. We were told no specifics, given no piece of mind. My mother sobbed while driving to the hospital. I looked out the window, praying that it wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be the end.
Play SAVE YOUR SEAT on Sound Cloud.
Almost 14 years ago, we got married in New Orleans. It was four days before Hurricane Katrina came through and we ended up losing everything. But we fought through it and managed to come out on top. Little did we know that in 201,5 she would have been diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of uterine cancer that would change our life completely.