Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
The Long Goodbye
Both of my grandparents were instrumental in my upbringing, not on account of any parental deficiency, but rather, a commitment to their belief in family and family life, and a testament to the durability of those bonds through time and adversity.
My Truce With Life
It is not surprising when we have an obstacle looming in front of us, our mind searches back to a time we faced a similar challenge to use it as a reference point.
Oh Sweet Mother of Mine
Oh, sweet mother of mine. You are at peace now. We always knew this day would come, but we never thought it would be like this. In the middle of a pandemic allowed no visitors. No one was allowed to watch over you until your last breath. I am so thankful I was allowed the 30 minutes to watch you reach the other side despite the protective layers of N95 masks, medical gowns, and gloves. It should have been this way. COVID-19 is nothing to play with, so please protect your at-risk family. I do not want any other family to experience this.
Death Leaves a Heartache No One Can Heal
At 93, Mom didn’t rage against the dying of the light. Her heart - big enough to raise 6 children; brave enough to sail the seas for 7 years; bold enough to live off the land in Northern Minnesota for 20 years; and robust enough to love the same man for 73 winters - weakened, surrendered and stopped.
I once spent four days with peanut butter in my hair and cabbage in my bra, while wearing a pair of overalls made for a husky little boy. It was a bad week. But when I think of that week now, a tiny little smile always shows up at the corner of my mouth, just the tiniest of smiles, because honestly, despite the grief that smothered me like a heavy, murderous blanket, the whole event also had an I Love Lucy quality to it. I was a sad Lucille Ball, shuffling around my weird little apartment in clothes meant for a child farmer, with my hair sticking up and the leaves of a cruciferous vegetable stuck to my boobs.
What do you do when your dad dies?
This morning I woke up to a message from my brother asking me to call him and not to contact mum first. I knew something was wrong but I figured maybe they had one of their fights as sometimes they do or maybe something happened to grandma. What I could never expect was my brother saying that my dad wasn’t with us anymore.
A love that was once given now taken
It was the year 2004 when I had started a job at a government program way off southern north location across the river. It was a tense, but organized orientation that was pretty exciting for a government program. The people were dressed up and the weather was good and warm, pleasantly in the mid 78 degree season of the year.
How My Brother's Death Saved Me
When my brother died, I was 18 years old. I had moved into my own apartment shortly after my birthday, in the common hurry that most are in to grow up. I wanted that taste of reality. I wanted to be an adult. And that’s exactly what happened. During the weekdays I’d head off for an 8-hour shift at my call center job for a large grocery store chain. Five days a week I’d drive my little 2004 Ford Escort down the crowded highways full of other commuters rushing to their day jobs.
How I Dumped My In-Laws in the Pacific Ocean
“I didn’t hear you say that.” Mary, the administrative assistant at the cremation service, looked grave. I didn’t realize she was giving me the old wink, wink, nudge, nudge. She sensed I did not compute.
Whistling for My Ship
Looking out at the horizon, Jana stared to see if any type of vessel was approaching or sailing away. She opened up the wax paper that had held a chocolate glazed donut and shook her head after she took a bite. "Oh dad, this is pure sugar," she mumbled to herself as she sat crossed legged on the beach wall. She tucked the donut, which was her dads favorite, back into the paper and looked again at the ocean.
Grieve your own way: It's your loss so cry if you want to
Leslie Gore had a hit song in 1963 titled "It's my party." She sings in the chorus: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
The Death Of Loved One
Death is not the most significant loss in life. A tremendous loss is what dies inside us while we live. It is the loss of a loved one or the loss of something that teaches us about the worth of things. While I was seven years old, still a child that needed love and to is taken care of by my parent, especially my mom; she was having a hard time balancing her life between taking care of my grandmother and me. My mom was the most loved child and sibling among the family; she was the one who took care of everything and everyone. At that time, my grandmother was ill. Every day, she had to take me to school, go to work, visit my grandmother in the hospital, come back to pick me up from school and take me home, study with me, take care of everyone in the house, and finally, at night, she would go back to the hospital. I remember that it has been a long time since I had slept in her arms at night. One night as she was getting me ready for bed, she dressed up to go to my grandmother, came and kissed me, but I couldn't sleep. I started crying and told her, why don't you stay with me? I want you to be her? She looked into my eyes and started crying. She told me, look how much you love me and want me to stay with you; it is the same for my mother; she is sick, and I need to be beside her and take care of her. When I think about it, it makes me feel sad that I have made her cry. On a school afternoon, while I was waiting patiently for her to pick me up, I was left alone after everyone had left school. I called her, and she was not picking up. In my thoughts, I was saying that maybe my grandmother had become better, and she was busy taking her home until one of my relatives came to pick me up instead. When we arrived home, it was very crowded.