New parents to our son. Happily in love. We think our dream journey of love is about to begin like we're impervious to a failed relationship, Taylor working 6-10 hour shifts. Newborn beauty Uncontrollable fear of failure. Postpartum Depression. Dependency on a person, which can ruin your entire life if you don't put a stop to it's progression, that is if you are even self aware enough to realize you're becoming dangerously dependent on someone that isn't yourself. At the end of the day, no one will fight harder for you, than you, so don't ever fight harder for a person than you do for yourself, because while you may help them along their journey, you could be severely damaging your own while also possibly robbing them of a valuable lesson they may be meant to learn on their path through life. Alongside having the fear of looking stupid, I let my pride break my heart beyond compare and ended up losing the love of my life, which I greatly feared more than anything else in my life, I'm ashamed to admit because I still felt that way even after I became a mother, that is what severe dependency can do to you. I'm merely blessed and lucky, both, to have been one of the few people who managed to wake up to who they really were becoming in time to make a change in themselves, and maybe even make a difference in the world if they choose to. I myself have decided to use my personal experiences and horrendous decisions that ultimately brought me nothing but pain, despair, terror, and hopelessness to my life in order to hopefully save other innocent people from going through something that is entirely avoidable. While what I made it through taught me great things that will only benefit me from here on out, I am only one of so many people who have suffered these things and I'm one of the lucky ones who didn't let their pain, or their fear of hopelessness in their lives, cause them to have no future or life at all, so if I can help them by talking about how valuable fighting for and living their lives in the best ways life would allow really makes a person feel, and they decide to take my word for it, and that word saves ANY number of lives, everything we suffered will have been worth it, and I'd even put Taylor through it all again for the same outcome that gave us both much needed knowledge I definitely never obtained, and surprisingly knowledge even he had needed to get through life. I finally managed to become a person I actually see having a bright and meaningful future. I finally feel like I have a purpose in my life worth more than just showering everyone with all the love I'm able to hold (which turns out is a HEAVY LOT). However that doesn't mean I don't still have terrible fear of failure, because if anything now I have even more than I used to, and the fear I used to have crippled me yet through some, honestly, un-explainable epiphany that I was truly blessed by God to see, unlike what I imagine to be nearly everyone else on the planet who probably never have an out of world experience like I did, and due to that I'm finally for the first time in my twenty-six years of life being brave by going after what I want, despite the immense fear of failing that in my past, ended with me letting it take everything I had cared for and wanted, away. I let the fear keep me from making any effort that way I wouldn't fail at all, but that was worse than failing. I was ignorant to think there was any way around being responsible for my own happiness let alone my baby son's life which I knew too well was so easily able to mess up... Anyways, he and I really believed that the love we had for each other would make it through any and every single horrible thing life could possibly throw at us, and for a long time, we showed life what we were made of. I really thought my dream of finding true love that mattered above all else actually came true, and it did, but not in the way I expected, or hoped for... but in a way that left two people who dove head first into each other and into the unknown lifestyle of adulthood which for our parents, was entirely different, and to us, so fucking much easier, we were blind-sighted by the fact that it looked so simple for them, because even though it's never simple, it was a far deal more so for our elders than it is for us, and we never thought it fair that we were raised how we were, differently but still felt the same way, and essentially tossed to the wolves which was life, and it utterly obliterated us entirely. Never seeing it coming because we couldn't see anything but each other, and at the time, I thought that our ability to have almost nothing but each other yet still manage to laugh and enjoy our company was a real life miracle kind of love, the kind you never let go.