It was a cold winter day. A Saturday to be exact. Working yet again, I dropped our son off at your home for the few hours I needed help. Everything seemed normal, nothing warranting what was about to unfold into the worst nightmare of someone’s life.
This is my son , he is 10 now but for the last 3 years my life has been turned upside down because of his narcissistic father .
The day I lost my Great-Grandma Ada is a day I have never quite recovered from. I awoke on March 5th, 2006 to news that would rock the world of any 10-year-old. My Grandma Sharon’s cell phone was going off and it woke me up first, I had fallen asleep with my grandma on her bed the night before watching TV and honestly, once I’m unconscious, it’s too much effort to try to get me up. I remember sitting up and nudging my grandma telling her the phone was going off. I handed her the cell phone and saw my uncle’s name as the contact. Her brother, my great uncle, was living with my grandma Ada helping to take care of her. She had just gotten out of a recent hospital stay and we had just been over there the day before. All of the family had actually. We had spent the day eating and going through old family photos with Grandma Ada at the helm sharing all of the memories she could give us about them. Grandma Sharon answered the phone and I could hear my uncle’s words on the other end. My Grandma Ada was on her way to the hospital, and it was bad.
Hi readers I am Alexis, Brandon Chrisan aka Kyle Dean’s mom2. I have been his mom2 since he was 5 years old. In each of my stories I am going to share about falling in love with my kid and left shattered from his senseless death. Let’s face it, there really aren’t too many books on a stepmom who’s not wicked but smitten with her eldest boy on how to grieve if he should die before you? How to not pine for him? Cry for him? You will learn about the kind, funny, wore his heart on a sleeve Brandon. You will also learn about how I felt just like I had given birth to him never differentiating he wasn't biologically mine. And, hopefully at the conclusion of Born to be Brandon’s mom and Kyle Dean’s, you will hopefully feel as if he knew he was born to be my boy too. I will touch on the abuse I felt Brandon endured, the conversations of “He needs to come to Texas; Brandon needs to be heard and grounded, so he doesn’t float away”. The control, manipulation and bitterness fueled by alcohol and the lack of love he received when he wasn’t home in Texas. I know everyone wants to know his cause of death and I will get there I promise. There are many facets to life, people never really think about. I am here to hopefully give a voice in this new club of being minus one kid here in this atmosphere. That tragic day, with a cold, callous stepdad with the words “Brandon’s dead”, to his mom2 of the exact time period of 17 years, 9-28-2018 was the worst day ever in my life and 17 years of being together with his dad. A bittersweet day I wished never had existed. Don't be too harsh on me, I am from Texas, and I haven't written in quite a while.
When I think about the women who have inspired me in my life, I find that I am confronted by a mental list that is broader than it is long. It is hard to place those that lead in a linear field: their influence is one which has as much breadth as depth.
This story is by no means easy to tell, but if my pain can help someone going through the same thing then it’s all worth it
This is the story that begins with the worst day of our lives, but turns into a lifetime of optimistic new beginnings. It isn’t often that we hear of a mother choosing her daughter as someone who inspires her; it’s usually the other way around. If you asked my daughter, she may have chosen me, for reasons of her own.
With this post I want to talk about grief. Does grief ever get easier? In a short answer, no. It really doesn't. I believe people just develop coping mechanisms in which they can deal with it slightly easier.
This picture means so much to me, you see this is my beautiful mother. She got took from this earth way to soon. I was only nine when she got killed. Mom was my best friend, she taught me so much even though I was young.My mother was the most kind hearted woman I have ever known. She would give someone the last penny she had, if she knew it would help someone in need. She always loved helping others.
I cannot believe that you have left us and moved on. The world feels slightly empty now that you are gone. I am so thankful for the chance to have called you a friend and for you to be such an inspiration in my life. I would not have done half the things I did without you.