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The Intricacies of an Arranged Marriage: Unexpected Twists and Unspoken Desires

Celebrations Masking a Dark Reality

By Emmanuel OjenikePublished about a month ago 4 min read

Isn't it unbelievable? That a child's father would also be their grandfather.

This situation is incredibly messy and disgusting, but I am compelled to keep it a secret because it is shameful.

My sister entered into a marriage arranged by our parents and their friends. She didn't receive much education because she wasn't academically inclined, you know?

Not everyone is meant to be a scholar. Our parents were aware of this, but they still pushed her to complete a diploma and secured her a job through one of our father's acquaintances who owned a factory. It was clear that she wouldn't earn much or have a meaningful career as a secretary. Essentially, our parents hoped she would find a husband, have children, and that would be the extent of her responsibilities.

Over five years passed with my sister working at the factory without any boyfriend or husband, which concerned our parents. Meanwhile, my younger siblings and I had finished school and started relationships. Given that my sister was the eldest, I understood our parents' anxiety about her situation.

Then I discovered that my sister was going to marry the son of our father's friend, who happened to be the owner of the factory where she worked. I wasn't particularly close to my sister, to be honest, but I was curious about how she ended up involved with this guy named Julius , whom we had known since childhood. As I mentioned earlier, his father was a friend of our father. We always considered Julius to be a bit peculiar, which made us wonder how my sister became so involved with him to the extent of marrying him. I'll explain more about that later.

Moving on, the marriage ceremony took place, and my sister moved in with Julius and his parents. It's not uncommon for young couples to live with their parents, so that wasn't particularly strange.

Here's where things took an unexpected turn. I later discovered that my sister's marriage to Julius was actually arranged. Yes, an arranged marriage, which, again, isn't unheard of. However, what made it complicated was the fact that Julius is gay.

Please understand, I'm not here to judge anyone's sexual orientation. Everyone has the right to live their life as they choose. But you can see the situation unfolding here, right?

Julius 's parents were aware of his sexual orientation, yet they arranged a marriage between my sister and him, knowing that she wasn't astute enough to realize she was being used.

In the first year, nothing significant happened—no pregnancy or anything of that sort. However, in the second year, my sister became pregnant.

Naturally, I was happy for her and decided to pay her a visit. As I mentioned earlier, we weren't particularly close, so I hadn't seen her in a while.

During my visit, I couldn't help but notice the familiarity between my sister and her father-in-law. They would sit together in the kitchen, chatting and laughing. On one occasion, my sister went to retrieve something from the bedroom, and from the corner of my eye, I saw her father-in-law pretend to head towards another room but instead enter her bedroom. They remained there for more than 30 minutes. I had to knock on her door to let her know I was leaving. She asked me to return to the sitting room and said she would join me shortly. When she returned, she seemed sweaty but content.

When I inquired about her father-in-law's whereabouts, my sister claimed he was asleep... in her own room! Can you imagine? I was utterly shocked!

What kind of game was she playing? I couldn't understand it.

I asked her about her mother-in-law and her husband, but she gave some flimsy excuse, stating that Mama and Julius were attending a wedding within the family.

"So why is Papa home with you?" I questioned.

"Isn't this his house?" she replied.

I decided to remain silent.

However, I did report what I had witnessed to my mother. To my surprise, she told me to mind my own business. That's when I realized that something was seriously wrong with the entire situation!

I attempted to "mind my own business," but when something like this occurs within your family, it inevitably becomes your business as well. My sister eventually had a son, and everyone celebrated as if they had no idea how she became pregnant.

By "everyone," I'm referring to Julius , his parents, my parents, and even my sister. Later on, I discovered that both Julius and his mother were aware that his father was having a sexual relationship with my sister!

Can you imagine the audacity?

It was an incredibly messy situation!

And that's not all. Just a few months after the child was born, Julius fled the country, claiming that people wanted to harm him because of his homosexuality. Personally, I don't buy that story. It seems to me that he used the sympathy that some foreigners have for gay individuals as an opportunity to escape Nigeria.

I'm sharing this because many people were aware of Julius 's homosexuality, and he was never threatened or in danger. He had been actively seeking a way to go abroad, so he used his sexual orientation as an excuse.

Anyway, Julius has left the country, and yet my sister is still involved with our aging father, as she is now pregnant again. My parents and Julius 's mother, Mama, act as if everything is fine. They all want me to stop asking questions and avoid making them uncomfortable. Am I the one at fault here?

I'm sharing this anonymously because if there are legal consequences or judgments regarding the mess happening within my family, I want it to be known that I am not involved in it.


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  • Ameer Bibiabout a month ago


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