grief

Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.

  • DC Feagins
    Published about a month ago
    The Story of Zyon

    The Story of Zyon

    On April 3rd, 2006 I received the call that the mother of my child was in labor and headed to the hospital. I was beyond excited and unlike most men from where I'm from, even at just 18 I was ready to be a great father to my son. I had been anticipating this moment for so long and been holding it in for even longer. I hadn't told anyone in my family because our relationships were not in great places. I wanted to surprise my mom on Mother’s Day with her grandchild, as crazy as it sounded, this was the way I thought I would mend the relationships and announce the new member of the Feagins family. I arrived at the hospital a little passed 7pm and as I walked into the room, I could feel an immense amount of pain in the air. She looked at me and just kept crying. As I held her, I listened to the doctor explain to me, what she had already explained to her and her family. I was in disbelieve and at the moment couldn't do anything but be strong for her. I held it in, I fought to hold it in so that I could hold her up and be her strength that she needed in this moment. She would have to deliver my sons' still born body, right now. She didn't want to hold him but something in me just thought, maybe just maybe there was life in him. Maybe, it's us. We are the family that gets to brag about the doctors producing a miracle. I held my sons' breathless body in my arms. I stared at him and in one moment pictured everything that I wanted to be able to do with him, to be able to just hear him say daddy, to go fishing, to start practicing for whatever sport he would like to do, to just sit on the couch and watch the NBA finals or the Superbowl. I would never get to have these moments. As I walked into the hallway, down to the bathroom I found my way to the stall and finally let out everything I'd held in for those 2 long hours. I held and screamed for the hurt, for the feeling of losing my child when I was there. I was there from the start and planned to be there forever. I was ready, I wasn't going to abandon my son. All of these fathers get to see their children born and never be a part of their lives, but I set here, and I planned to be the best father I could be and failed before I ever got the chance to start. It's been 14 years now since that day and It doesn’t seem to get any easier thinking about it. At some point I look at my sons and I see all the characteristics that Zyon would’ve had. I see his smile in them, I see is athletic ability in them, I see his sense of humor in them. Sometimes I find myself even with teenagers, standing in the doorway of their rooms and watching them sleep. Wondering what they are dreaming about, what fears they have and what they want to achieve in this World. Zyon took a breath I was told, so for 3 seconds, he was alive. Maybe that’s the miracle, the three seconds of life was enough for my three sons, Tyrese, Keyshawn and Deondre to have a part of him. But you never get over the loss of a child, you survive, you get up and life eventually continues with some sort of normal energy, but you're never okay. Never. Zyon your story lives and breathes within your brothers every day.
  • Pascal Kempson
    Published about a month ago
    Today I saw my grandad..

    Today I saw my grandad..

    Today I saw my grandad. Which is weird because he's dead. He died about seven years ago. It was gut wrenching, a sharp dagger inserted and twisted, a cold blade piercing my abdomen.
  • mikayla marie
    Published about a month ago
    Finding Out Your Dad Has Cancer

    Finding Out Your Dad Has Cancer

    It's a Wednesday afternoon, all is well. Me and "the beau" had made plans for the upcoming Friday. We were going to see our local hockey team play. And we did go, but before that, something happened.
  • Briana McCarty
    Published about a month ago
    Acquainted

    Acquainted

    From a young age, I got acquainted with death and how to grieve.
  • C.J.B
    Published 2 months ago
    The worst days.

    The worst days.

    Why am I writing about everything that happened from the day that I found out my sister was sick until she passed away?
  • Syna Morse
    Published 2 months ago
    Pretty Mama

    Pretty Mama

    It only takes one person to make you feel loved. I remember the exact moment of when I was told my
  • C.J.B
    Published 2 months ago
    2 years and 30 days.
  • Rodrick Turner
    Published 2 months ago
    Losing a parent

    Losing a parent

    You would think that because we have parents, no matter how many times they say that they would be in our lives and will always be with us. You would think that because they’re always around throughout your childhood, they were invincible and they wouldn’t die. I was one of those kids who thought parents would be with you forever physically until that one fateful night. It was like any other typical night : watching tv with a sibling. However my mom and step father were out the whole day so I was wondering when they were coming home so I went downstairs to look at the window to see if anything or anyone was outside. On the other side of that glass and the screen door was my mom, pacing slowly back and forth while my step father was on the side of the front door quietly until I opened the door to see what’s wrong. That’s when he puts his hand on my shoulder and said “I’m sorry, Rod.” Me, looking confused, was wondering what is he saying sorry to me for. So I walked further down the walkway to my mom and I could hear her sniffling as her hands were covering her mouth and nose. I asked her what was wrong and she said sorry to me as well so I’m even more confused as into why they’re both saying sorry to me as if they did something wrong. That’s when Mom told me that my father had passed away a couple days before I was supposed to be with him for the weekend during my second week as a freshman in high school. I couldn’t really grasp the concept what I just heard so I went back to the porch, sat down and looked at the ground. Then my little sister came outside and asked what was wrong. They broke the news to her and she started crying. This was around 10 o’clock at night on a Thursday night. We’re all outside, me still in shock, my mom and little sister are crying and my step father trying to comfort us. Our neighbors next door heard them crying so they came out and was wondering what was wrong and they told them what happened. My father’s girlfriend at the time, found him in bed but he wasn’t breathing and later found out that he died due to internal bleeding also my belief of parents being invincible. I haven’t shed any tears until after the funeral and seeing him for the last time. The next time I did shed tears was during an assignment in drama class where it had something to do with our parents I think and I didn’t want to participate. My fists were balled up and tears began to roll down my face and some of my classmates asked me what was wrong though I didn’t say anything until the teacher came over, noticed the tears on my face and asked what was wrong. I told her about my father and she told me to go see the counselor we had in school. I told her what happened and how I felt so then she told me that she’s putting a group together of those who lost a parent or both so we can cope with their passing. I was the only boy in the group and the rest were female but in different grades. It went on for about a year or so until the group was no more and I got better. I understood that thinking about my father so much would affect me as a person and around others so I continued life on a normal track. I do think about him every year he passed away and on his birthday. The next time I shed tears was when after Graduating high school And enlisting in the army. I finished basic training and was about to graduate from Ft.Lee, Virginia. Three accomplishments within 5 months but it wasn’t the same without him. After that, I haven’t been able to shed tears as I kept hearing about people close to me passing away. Hearing about them hurts but it made me numb to the point that I cant cry as easily.
  • Melissa Clews
    Published 2 months ago
    Unspoken Goodbye

    Unspoken Goodbye

    It was a cold winter day. A Saturday to be exact. Working yet again, I dropped our son off at your home for the few hours I needed help. Everything seemed normal, nothing warranting what was about to unfold into the worst nightmare of someone’s life.
  • Laura
    Published 2 months ago
    Parental pain

    Parental pain

    This is my son , he is 10 now but for the last 3 years my life has been turned upside down because of his narcissistic father .
  • Sarah Montgomery
    Published 2 months ago
    Ode to Ada

    Ode to Ada

    The day I lost my Great-Grandma Ada is a day I have never quite recovered from. I awoke on March 5th, 2006 to news that would rock the world of any 10-year-old. My Grandma Sharon’s cell phone was going off and it woke me up first, I had fallen asleep with my grandma on her bed the night before watching TV and honestly, once I’m unconscious, it’s too much effort to try to get me up. I remember sitting up and nudging my grandma telling her the phone was going off. I handed her the cell phone and saw my uncle’s name as the contact. Her brother, my great uncle, was living with my grandma Ada helping to take care of her. She had just gotten out of a recent hospital stay and we had just been over there the day before. All of the family had actually. We had spent the day eating and going through old family photos with Grandma Ada at the helm sharing all of the memories she could give us about them. Grandma Sharon answered the phone and I could hear my uncle’s words on the other end. My Grandma Ada was on her way to the hospital, and it was bad.
  • Alexis Chrisan
    Published 2 months ago
    His wings were ready; my heart was not.

    His wings were ready; my heart was not.

    Hi readers I am Alexis, Brandon Chrisan aka Kyle Dean’s mom2. I have been his mom2 since he was 5 years old. In each of my stories I am going to share about falling in love with my kid and left shattered from his senseless death. Let’s face it, there really aren’t too many books on a stepmom who’s not wicked but smitten with her eldest boy on how to grieve if he should die before you? How to not pine for him? Cry for him? You will learn about the kind, funny, wore his heart on a sleeve Brandon. You will also learn about how I felt just like I had given birth to him never differentiating he wasn't biologically mine. And, hopefully at the conclusion of Born to be Brandon’s mom and Kyle Dean’s, you will hopefully feel as if he knew he was born to be my boy too. I will touch on the abuse I felt Brandon endured, the conversations of “He needs to come to Texas; Brandon needs to be heard and grounded, so he doesn’t float away”. The control, manipulation and bitterness fueled by alcohol and the lack of love he received when he wasn’t home in Texas. I know everyone wants to know his cause of death and I will get there I promise. There are many facets to life, people never really think about. I am here to hopefully give a voice in this new club of being minus one kid here in this atmosphere. That tragic day, with a cold, callous stepdad with the words “Brandon’s dead”, to his mom2 of the exact time period of 17 years, 9-28-2018 was the worst day ever in my life and 17 years of being together with his dad. A bittersweet day I wished never had existed. Don't be too harsh on me, I am from Texas, and I haven't written in quite a while.