Just for today

"Just for today I will feel no anger, I will not worry, I will be grateful. I will be honest and work hard in all my endeavours".

Every morning I say this affirmation. I begin each day anew, refresh my promises to myself on how I will embrace the day. But these words are hollow without my intention, so for them to work I must utter them as a vow. I'm sure many of us, myself included, have been guilty of sharing inspirational quotes then doing nothing to change our lives, and wonder why we still feel something lacking. Commit to these words and see how the chaos of life gets a little bit more organised, smoother, easier.

“Feel no anger” – easily said when people are always making me angry. Colleagues not pulling their weight at work, customers being rude, never ending housework, things breaking unexpectedly or just generally going wrong …the list is endless! It’s easy to let the anger rise, occupy my thoughts, distracting me and building higher and higher until an explosion is imminent. I had to find a way to get through all these difficult situations. I'm still human, I do get frustrated by people's actions. I have learned that I cannot change people, but I can change my response to them. “Just for today I will feel no anger…” means that whatever happens today, I will not let out a negative response, but will use the passion and adrenaline that accompanies anger to fuel my goals and achieve what needs doing.

At work I was taking more calls whilst everyone else was talking and not working. I put all my energy into helping my customers on those calls, and felt a growing sense of pride in my work at the end of the day. As each day passed, I realised that I had achieved more than I had before, and no longer felt emotionally drained. I was in a much better headspace when I left work. Arriving home to a stack of dirty plates no longer phased me, and I was able to relax when I got in, letting my partner know when I needed help, and calmly sharing the housework without feeling overwhelmed.

“I will not worry” – the most challenging of all if like me you are a natural worrier. But worrying takes time, consumes your sleep, and leads to overthinking rather than tackling the problem. Worried about a meeting tomorrow? Instead of panicking and getting a bad nights sleep, I would focus on why I was worried, and think of the worst case scenario. Going to forget the words? Don’t worry – practice my speech and bring cue cards. Worried I would forget to bring my presentation? Don’t worry – Pack my bag the night before and check everything. You cannot prepare for every eventuality, but you can quash your fears by preparing ahead and organising yourself. These actions quietened that panicking person in my head, and I felt at peace.

“Be grateful” – The current COVID-19 pandemic has certainly taught us to be grateful for the simple things for granted. Health, a job, enough food (and toilet paper!), family, all things that we believe we have a right to, until our eyes are opened and suddenly these necessities are challenged. Trivialities such as jealously of other writers having their work noticed whilst mine remained unread, withered away. I was content with having everything I needed in life and saw everything else as a bonus. Without jealously holding me back, I wrote without trying to hard, without having to prove myself or target an audience. I wrote for me, from the heart, baring my soul. I learned to enjoy writing again as I had when I was younger – writing for the fun of it, for pure enjoyment, and nothing else. I finished pieces I had abandoned, and soon had an array of poetry, songs, and short stories in my collective. Through being grateful, I had learned to be happy without the constraints of success or money, but just to simply be. In this sense I had set free of the part of my life I did not need to organise – my creativity.

“Be honest” – not as straight forward as it seems. I’m not going to explain the problems that arise from telling lies, most of us learn this as children. But what about the dangers of white lies? Pretending to be something we’re not to be accepted socially, or to avoid awkward questions, and please others. Peer pressure has led to to say yes when I want to say no, for fear of what others might think. I have told white lies to protect other people’s feelings, such as pretending my phone was broken when my friend was angry that I hadn’t immediately respond to a message, when the reality was that I was just busy. I’m not the type of person that looks at their phone all day, but I didn’t feel that I could say this to my friend. I had to justify with a better reason rather than just telling the truth, to make them feel better. This filled my friendship group with the wrong people, caused arguments where they perceived me to be ignoring them, and led to our friendships ending abruptly.

When I started being myself, I found that similar people came and stayed in my life. I didn’t have to explain myself, because all my new friends understood me. We could be honest with each other without fear of judgement. I could talk about my myself and not feel shame too – some people made fun of my hippy clothing and interest in tarot cards, whilst my new friends embraced my quirkiness. My confidence grew, and I could be happy being true to myself. My shambles of a social life outside of work became something more than I could have ever hoped for.

“Work hard in all my endeavours”. House needs a good thorough clean? Don’t do a half-hearted job, you’ll see all the spots you missed, have wasted half and day, and spend the rest of it feeling like you didn’t make a difference. Start what we wish to achieve. If it takes up a whole day cleaning, then that’s what it takes, but you will be happy with the results for the rest of the week. In everything we do, we need to fully commit to see the results we want. In relationships, we can sit there and go through the motions, leaving us feeling forgotten about and undervalued, or we can put in the effort with surprises, weekends trips away, even token presents like a bar of chocolate from the shop, and the honeymoon period will never go away.

Without realising it, this simple manta had done what years of self help books, motivational speakers and inspirational quotes hadn’t. I had achieved this all by myself, disciplined my mind until my whole world became what I wanted it to be. Work and writing became enjoyable again, my house transformed into an organised space, and my relationship is stronger than ever. Most importantly, from a simple mantra, I have changed my life for the better. I am happy, content and continuing to improve myself into the best possible version of me.

I pass this mantra onto you and hope you too can benefit. Spring is here, a time of new beginnings, new practices, and a new you. Why not give it a try? Even just for today.