Early Death And The Age Discrimination connection

There are a lot of unwritten rules relating to people's ages and we are often not accepted to do things or even deal with certain people sometimes because of our age.

Society has created age categories where people are grouped into those over or under a certain age.

Often these age categories are used to control us and try to tell us what we should or should not be doing, what we can or cannot do, and often more than that.

These stereotypes often tend to get more negative as people get older.

Instead of encouraging people to advance further and do more people seem to be expected and even encouraged to slow down and even stop what they are doing quite early on in life.

Negative attitudes to age, I believe, are detrimental to ourselves and society and even our relationships with each other.

In fact, this is backed up by research.

Ageism reportedly can lead to early death of up to 7.5 years, poorer physical and mental health, and delayed recovery from illness.

It can also be related to depression, dementia, and other issues.

When we are told to live our lives according to an age category we are not able to live our lives in a way unique and chosen by us.

Why should we be told who we should be friends with or that we cannot understand those older or younger than us?

I have friends of different ages. We are able to understand each other when we have similar interests. In general, however, I do not feel I have much in common with those my own age.

Age-Related Prejudice Just Might Lead Us to an Early Grave:

I had thought that attitudes and ideas related to age were just annoying and a sign of ignorance, however, it did not actually occur to me that they might actually be harming us more than we realize until I pondered some stories.

One unfortunate example of how attitudes to age may be harming us, especially for women, was recently demonstrated in the suicide case of Cheslie Kryst.

In the March 2021 issue of Allure, Cheslie wrote …

“Each time I say ‘I’m turning 30,’ I cringe a little. Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable response with excitement; other times, my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting.”

Cheslie, who turned 30 in April 2021, was already concerned about what came along with the aging process. She added,

“Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women.”

It is rather unfortunate that the fact that she suffered from ageist bullying from people online saying she was too old to be Miss Universe at thirty was largely ignored and her suicide was instead put down to “mental health issues.”

Most people said she did not seem depressed at all and she was often pictured smiling.

Jumping from her building she went all the way up to the thirtieth floor on the thirtieth of January 2022 and jumped off. It seems that she had clear issues with the number thirty.

As Queen Esquire commented on her YouTube channel, after experiencing all the issues relating to turning thirty as a beauty Queen, she was determined not to reach 31.

Her death was followed by many people leaving messages to ‘rest in peace.’

However, would it not have been better to let her live in peace? And all of us too?

A short while after the suicide of Cheslie Kryst, another beauty Queen, Miss Alabama, Zoe Bethel, also jumped to her death.

She was only 27, but it seems that, like Cheslie, she had the same worries about age and not achieving enough at the advanced age of 27.

This was the idea put forward by Queen Esquire on her YouTube channel who says that the two deaths were remarkably similar and seem to both have had issues with age, reflecting on their lives and the future and not achieving enough.

Queen Esquire found evidence from reading her Facebook account, which appeared to become more negative towards the time of her death.

She was reflecting on her life and what she had done but brought up the issues to do with age, the passing of time, and not achieving all that she hoped for at her age.

Queen Esquire added that this is from society's attitude to age and that we have too much pressure to achieve a lot at a young age.

In fact, when we achieve things past certain ages it is often not valued or even questioned as to why we are still doing such and such.

This girl also fell to her death not long after Cheslie.

Although I do not agree with Beauty Pageants I found it sad that these girls felt that they had no real future and that anything that they may want to do or achieve in the future would not be as valuable because of attitudes to age.

At twenty-four I was also very afraid of reaching thirty and openly told people I hoped to die before that time.

Every decade is more dreaded.

So we are unable to appreciate our lives due to society's negative perceptions of age.

In fact, suicide has been related to ageist ideas in older adults.

According to a study called: Is Suicide the End Point for Ageism and Human Rights Violations?:

Ageism and human rights violations may pervade each of the potential factors underlying suicidal ideation or behavior in older persons, including physical and mental health, disability, relationships, and social factors.

In fact, negative ideas related to age and aging do not only relate to depression and suicidal tendencies but also to health itself.

The more we think we are old, aging, and going downhill the more we may accelerate the aging process itself.

Ageist attitudes and negative ideas and expectations of older adults can actually bring on dementia in later life.

According to a study by Health Professor Becca Levy in 2009, exposure to stereotypes about age can affect whether we develop dementia in our later years or not.

“We have found the risk of dementia goes up with people who have taken in more negative age stereotypes from their culture, but you also could think about it in the opposite way, that people who take in more positive age stereotypes seem to have a cognitive advantage over time,”

Here I want to give an example that saddened me but was a real story that related to a neighbor we once had.

The man had been a firefighter in his life but while in his early seventies he was living in his home by himself since his wife passed away.

Since he was our neighbor we often saw him attend to his garden, do his shopping, and go about his business without any problem.

However, he had a son who had a wife who seemed spiteful and did not like him.

She had persuaded her husband not to visit his father.

To make matters worse she began to make claims that he was developing dementia and was forgetful.

Saying that he could not look after himself she tried to convince her husband to put in into a nursing home and sell the house.

He ended up doing what she wanted.

Our poor neighbor had been in good health, going out for walks and shopping each day, and was cheery.

However, it seemed that being told that he was old and incapable — and being treated as such, as well as being abandoned by his son and family must have taken a toll on his health.

It was only a few months until we heard that his health had deteriorated quickly and in the end, he passed away.

These are some of the examples of how damaging and even lethal such ageist ideas can be to ourselves, our loved ones, and society as a whole.

There Are People Who Do Not Allow Negative Attitudes Towards Age to Affect Their Lives.

So are there people who survive them who we can learn from?

Yes, and one long living example of someone who refuses to give up her position to ageist attitudes is Queen Elizabeth of England who turned 95 this year.

It may be argued that of course, she can decide what to do with herself. She is the Queen after all!

However, the Queen still does experience ageism, and there are people who say she is too old to be Queen and should give up the throne.

I think it is great that she is continuing at such an age so long as she feels she can.

So how does she deal with the ageist attitudes? It seems that she just ignores them and does not succumb to the feeling victim to the idea that she cannot do things.

We see her keep her engagements and maintain her appointments as before and I think that her willpower to do so actually helps her to maintain that ability.

Another example I wanted to give was Sheikh Ramadan Deeb in Damascus. He is now over 100 years old and is still a very active teacher — more active than those teachers younger than him.

I mean, he gives more lessons and activities than many others who are younger.

He has not succumbed to dementia or ageist ideas.

From attending his lessons and also visiting his house I could see that he took care of his health by eating healthily and having a nutritional plan.

At the same time, he would not allow people to do things for him that he could do himself.

For example, he once was going out of the door when a woman came to open the door for him.

He demanded her to leave the door, saying that he was quite capable of opening it himself.

Opening the door with full force, he then slammed it behind him.

We got the message.

I have also read about a man over eighty years old who went to university, learned German, and became an activist.

Also, I have read about women over ninety running marathons.

This has led me to the conclusion that most things that people say people cannot do because of their age are not true.

I think that people can do whatever they want when they put their mind to it and have the intention (and are not prevented by ageism).

The problem is that people are so often told that they cannot, or shouldn’t continue with something because of age that they lose the motivation.

I once spoke to an older woman who was complaining about her life.

She said when she was younger she was more active but because she is older she lost motivation.

I told her that there are many older people with a lot of motivation for the things that they do. I mean, I see old ladies come down the mountain each day to go to the Mosque to memorize Quran.

They may be a bit slow, but they are very motivated and they do achieve things.

Her expression changed somewhat. “You’re right.” She added. “It is not my age, but I am living in a place where I do not have peace and quiet like before, and this has decreased my motivation.”

She then realized that the problem was that she should move.

So age is not the cause of each and every one of our issues.

For this reason, I wanted to finally mention:

Age-Related Prejudice in Healthcare.

It is unfortunate that age-related prejudice affects us in healthcare too and how we can receive treatment — if any.

Although I have never experienced this myself, as yet, it has put me off from going to doctors.

I did not like to receive invitations for health tests just for turning twenty-five.

When I heard that my sister had been told that she could not have more children at 35 and was distraught I felt I could not trust doctors to actually treat us without bias or without strange ideas.

My sister got pregnant straight after the doctor told her she could not.

Each and every malady that she experienced has been attributed to ‘aging,’ which is why I feel to avoid most doctors.

Aging, according to most of them, seems to begin as young as twenty-five.

Women who have children over 35 are called ‘geriatric mothers’ by them. I wonder why they are allowed to use such insulting and inaccurate ways of speaking.

I mean, especially since we know that menopause does not occur in most women until they are in their fifties, why would it be an issue for a 35-year-old to have a child?

Such ideas have affected many young women — and even men.

I mean, some girls think that if they marry at 35 or 40 they won’t have children. She thinks it is too late.

However, one woman told me that she received a marriage proposal at the age of 37. She replied, “do you know how old I am?” as if she was the oldest person around.

She did not expect to have children, but she got pregnant straight away.

I really hate to see girls in their late thirties or forties being bullied and put through a hard time being threatened with infertility, aging, and just being overly scrutinized.

It seems that society is in a great hurry to push all of us, and especially women, into old age long before their time.

This is something that holds many of us back from trying to pursue education, marry or begin careers when we are being told we are late.

In my opinion, such ideas are invented and people should be able to begin and pursue education, careers, and so forth so long as they are capable even if they are ninety.

Saying that ‘they had their life,’ should be referring only to dead people.

A person could still achieve some things — such as writing a medium post — even if they only had a few hours left to live. So they still do have some future (even if a few hours).

However, the point that I wanted to make is that whether old or young our age can often affect the kind of healthcare we can receive.

People can be told they are ‘too young,’ to get cancer and so not given the necessary tests.

When I went to the doctor with anxiety, panic attacks, and some depression, I was told I was too young. I should be happy.

However, I was not. So what should be done?

When illnesses such as blood pressure issues, diabetes, heart problems, and hormonal issues are perceived as “age-related,” people will not be given the proper tests, treatments, and advice to deal with medical issues in the correct way.

I know of many people — both old and young — who have the above issues for various reasons.

Not so long ago a friend of mine died at 29 from high blood and a heart attack. People said she was too young to die.

This attitude seems to be something that prevents people from actually being taken seriously and having their illnesses treated.

Therefore, ageism being in the minds and hearts of doctors may affect our health negatively as well.

It also may decrease motivation to look for the true causes and remedies for various maladies.

Saying, “it is your age,” to me, seems to mean that the doctor does not know the cause of the illness, or just cannot be bothered to find the correct reason.

Recommending vitamins to people based on age may also be dangerous. I mean, if someone is not tested and found to be deficient they could potentially take too much of a vitamin.

That could be harmful.

We are unique — not all one solid block at the same age, in need of the same things, or going through the same things.

It is, for this reason, I feel a lack of trust toward doctors and health professionals who have such ideas and have not been to the doctors in years.

This is without actually experiencing this myself.

A big misconception is that ageism happens only to older people.

I want to argue that it happens to all ages and all people. All of us experience it and we are all called too old or too young from time to time.

For this reason, being aware of the harms of such ideas should help us to avoid taking them on board, and even affecting others with them.

We should not use our age as an excuse, or an explanation for everything negative but find more proactive and positive ways to better ourselves throughout our lives.

This article was previously published in my medium account.

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