Day 2 of My 40 Day Fast: I Was Under a Love Spell for Years

It’s a few hours into day two and I’m beginning to feel that light and floaty feeling that comes over me when I water fast. Usually during fasting the mornings are slow-going, however this morning I felt fine.

Click on the story below to read why I'm fasting and being public about it.

I was 20 years old and a virgin when he put a love spell on me. I wouldn’t know for a long time after finally walking away from that toxic situation.

His roommate, whom I worked with, invited me to parties at their house. There was no spark or butterflies in my stomach when I was around him, nor did I find him attractive. That’s not to say he wasn’t desirable. He was friendly, nice, and funny. We had good conversations. My friend had eyes for him, but he wasn’t for me.

One night another co-worker was throwing a house party. I started pre-drinking during the last hour of my shift (ah to be young and stupid), and by the time I arrived to the party I was tipsy. Someone handed me an Extasy pill, and I threw it into my mouth. E was all the rage in the early 2000s. I believe the kids call it Molly now.

We bumped into each other a few times that night. The house was lively. Conversations materialized in front of me as I floated from the upstairs, to downstairs, to the backyard. At some point I realized I was running my finger up and down his arm hairs. He asked me to go for a walk. I looked about the room. Someone had turned on the turntables and people were starting to dance.

Um, okay, I said. He lead me out the back and into the alley.

We walked a few steps before I turned around and started for the house.

I’m going back inside, I said over my shoulder.

Wait.

I turned back around, what?

Can I kiss you?

I looked away, but there was nothing to look at in that dark alley. His pale blue eyes widened.

I loved making out with boys. I would go out and get drunk and find some cute boy to make out with. My friends nicknamed me Drunkie McMakeout. Heck, I had already made out with another boy at the party.

I shrugged my shoulders, okay.

We kissed, and then I pulled away. His mouth felt like an eraser.

Days after the party I heard through the grapevine he wanted to hang out. Alas, I was not interested.

Months later I was walking home from the bus stop and my thoughts went back to the party. I never thought about him. But when I thought about the party my thoughts went to him, and as soon as they did feelings slowly poured forth inside of me and then took me all at once.

Oh my God I caught feelings for him.

We went on our first date soon after. I was wracked with nerves, and tempted to get off the train headed to him. The feelings felt thick, all-consuming, like a heat wave.

He was casual, and did most of the talking. My birthday was one of the first things he asked about. We ended the night making out under the cherry blossoms at the train station.

Not long after that first date, he asked what time and where I was born. More often than not, others find out what we’re destined for before we do. He knew about all the blessings that were coming me, and he went to work to stop it.