100 Days Without Alcohol- Challenge Completed! Pt. 2

So as I mentioned in Part 1, it’s crazy in hindsight to think I managed to complete a 100 days sober. I guess I’m learning that most things that seem crazy are simply difficult but all together possible and not crazy at all. Throughout this challenge I’ve shared my insights as it’s progressed, hoping to inspire others to do the same or at least question their relationship with alcohol. The whole experience has had a positive and profound impact on me, as I’m sure this record has demonstrated. In part 2, even so close to the end, I faced further challenges. You’ve made it this far with me (and if you’re just joining you’ll find all posts in this series linked at the end), so let’s get to the end of this thing together.

Day 83 — Breakthroughs

I’m now realising that in the past few months the amount of progress I have made as a person in terms of my productivity, understanding of myself and the people around me, the break throughs I’ve made spiritually and mentally have been astronomical and it’s not a coincidence. I have been trying to move forward on that path for a very long time and can see now that alcohol was one of the many ways I was delaying that progress. I have been stunting my growth in all the ways I have formally sought out comfort and avoided discomfort.

Alcohol, food, romantic relationships. Only now do I have the clarity of mind to realise all of this. It’s incredible. Life has come into HD vision. The less external things you need, the freer you actually are. You are not depriving yourself at all, you’re freeing yourself. The amount of space in my mind and life it’s freed up is amazing. It has opened up my mind to the possibilities of a more moderate lifestyle. I’ve seen just how worth it that is. I’m happier than I’ve ever been following one of the most depressing and soul shattering periods of my life. The future excites me.

Day 86 — The Struggle

I have had some shocking and emotionally charged revelations in my personal life in the past few days that formally would have broken me. I found out some things that made me question my reality and trust in people in general through betrayal and certain lies being revealed. The struggle is real. I realise that emotional pain is a strong trigger for me. But I don’t find myself wanting to run away from those emotions. The deepest depression of my life has not stolen me from my path. I have the strength now to sit and face my emotions, to walk through them head first, without a drink in sight. That alone is a triumph I can be proud of and equips me so well for my healing and the future I face, which I intend to be the brightest yet. This kind of upheaval can make or break you. I intend for it to make me.

Day 93 — Friendship is Key and Everyone Has Their Reasons

At this point there is only a week left of the challenge. I am so proud of myself for how far I’ve come. Another birthday arrived and it’s probably the social event I’ve stayed at for longest when other people were drinking. It made for some interesting observations. This was also the first time I’d encountered another key member of the group who had chosen not to drink. We got into a discussion as to our reasons for why.

She revealed that she actually had done a 100 day challenge herself in the past, facing even greater hurdles than I had, like festivals and Summer weddings. She had been honest with herself as to how detrimental alcohol was for processing her emotions. How it got in the way of healthy self-regulation and also revealed to her some friends that she’d possibly outgrown. That their ritual had been to go to the pub and this probably masked the reality of how much they actually had in common anymore.

It was so interesting to hear this from someone else and I realised with gratitude how comfortable and safe I felt in this particular group of people. How freeing it was to feel that I was able to be myself. The lack of a drink wasn’t really felt despite those friends drinking. This only highlighted the fact that in situations where I didn’t feel so comfortable, alcohol was being used as a social lubricant, lowering my inhibitions and providing a sense of comfort that wasn’t maybe as real as it felt.

The Shift

I stayed for about 4 hours. Up until then I did not notice any difference between myself and the friends who were drinking. But for the first time in this entire challenge, I experienced ‘the shift’. The moment where you finally feel a difference between yourself and those drinking. When your lovely friends are just as lovely but they’re a different version of themselves. I’m not talking sloppy drunk or anything like that. But people become more emotional and repetitive, they are themselves but not quite. It made me reflect on how I might have presented myself in the past. This was no negative reflection, but simply something I realised I’d not really thought about before.

Day 94 — The Next Day

I reflect on how wonderful I feel waking up the next day. How I am able to be productive. Not paranoid, anxious, sleepy or dull but fresh. How many days have I unnecessarily lost over the years waking up the opposite of this after a night of drinking?

Day 100 — If I Can Do It So Can You

A quiet day at home marks the end of this challenge. So strange considering it all looking back. How much has changed in all areas of my life. How it took this challenge to cause such a shift in perspective. I count it as an important milestone in my life for fostering my own belief in myself and my ability to overcome challenges. If you take anything away from this, I hope it is that just because something seems difficult or you’ve never attempted it before, shouldn’t stop you from trying. All things to do with discipline and self control are by their definition entirely possible, entirely doable. Never let the doubts of others or yourself stop you from facing any challenge. Realise that the only person who can create real change in your life is you. Do it afraid, do it sad, do it alone, but do it all the same.

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I hope you enjoyed this post and found it useful. All hearts appreciated if you did. I look forward to your comments and questions. If there’s a topic you want to see written about, tell me! I welcome all suggestions.

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Other Articles in this Series:

• 100 Days Without Alcohol- Challenge Completed! Pt. 1
• What Happened When I Went 60 Days Sober? — Pt.2 The Broken Heart
• What Happened When I Went 60 Days Sober? - Pt. 1
• You Went Sober for 30 Days? Pt. 2
• You Went Sober for 30 Days? Pt. 1
• What I’ve Learned From Going 30 Days Sober
• Why Should You Be Sober Curious?
• Could Alcohol Be Making You Ugly?