Tush~Tickle

Zip-it-Up ~ Jean Disaster ~ Butt-Dial ~ Tail Tales

Did you ever, I know that we all have, pushed the email send button to the wrong person and just want to lunge into the screen to take it back? Come-on, mercy please take-backs! As I scream and plead into this inhumane gadget: where is its 'inanimate' heart? It could be very embarrassing; no way I did this. I blame my autocorrect filter Ai, who would certainly know me more than 'me' what I intended. Why do we even bother to think anymore? I’m sure many of you can relate to the following true tale that happened to me.

How many once believed this kind of call couldn’t actually happen; sort of like a present day urban legend? And really, if you ever pondered exactly how to CREATE this reach around yourself phenomenon, I think you’d end up in the 'Rears' wondering if there isn't a D0-Over Button attached to your jean pocket. These 'accidents' began arriving in our lives with the invent of this convenient phone/with text devices; the good with the bad as with most things. The invasion of the call accidents somehow that this Generation has blessed us with - these are never calls you’d choose to get.

I’ve overheard arguments between couples, someone dropping their keys and using the ever-popular-yet-useless stream of word filler four-letter-words, with frustration, in trying to find their Cell. Or even explantions that the caller’s phone got finger-mixed up with their purse-search for money or cosmetics; or even a 'Doobie.' So after you realize the caller didn’t mean to get your attention most of us just hang up. But, never expecting to receive an 'accidental' call such as this 'Hang-Up' was not an option. Lured in now like a Soap Opera cliffhanger enigma that needed a final episode for satisfaction, I just couldn’t put the phone down until it was solved.

— PushTush ~ Are you just GoofMessing with me? —

Was this really an accident or a cruel coward's way out of breaking up with me with this 'Mistake' call? Yet I realized that some good may come of these all too common technical irregularities. This being my longtime 'Partner' I was conditioned to smile inside at the prospect of talking to her when her name came up on my phone screen with this seemingly normal call. She, however, was interacting in a joyful manner with another man.

As the kind woman I had always perceived her to be, my initial thought was that she was talking to a waiter since she said she would be dining alone in a distant city on a business trip. There ensued repetitive smacking sounds. I could recognize her masticating anywhere, a loud chewer, you see. Then came more rustling noises than normally accompany a cell phone acting on its own in a back pocket. When whoops, high vocal notes of surprise, and playful phrases from her like “keep up now,” and "Oh right there...Yes, Yes, Yes I LIKE it,” came across the line, I was in an astonished-fit to get to the 'Bell-Bottom' of this mysterious dispatch of sounds.

Now I understand why people can’t look away from train wrecks, I was drawn to the mystery of what the 'F' was going on. I suspect these two jubilant voices were most likely in Cahoot-Hoots producing this performance to just mess with me; can't even imagine why.

So what was the good that came from this not-so-unique experience? Now available in Titaneum it’s an essential phone 24 hour I-Phone service: Insured Skinny Jeans - Fanny Phone Protection - for those of us who may not be able to find an excuse. Explanations are meaningless for the naively trusting Tush-Telly ~ 'Butt-Heads.'

— Time Washes Clean Loves Wounds Unseen —

Some of us may still be Heartsy, if you will, of this Cheat? Hurt people want to hurt people. But, Heart-hurt can pull you back so many times. Once the Forgive & Forget dust settles we may come to realize we actually want to spend the rest of our lives with that person, thus comes the jump and pin-um-down phase. We want to toss that incident aside and start back up as soon as possible with a 'Do~Over.' It could have been a 'Mistake' - Nah -

Authors: We all have our personalities and unique styles of writing; it would be very boring if we were all the same. OftenTimes our favorite 'Topics' are ourselves - Our Likes~Dislikes: we Type-Banter about with our Stream of 'Metaphors' always leading the way that daily fills our 'VillageBucket'.

Sad, our little Virtual~Village can't do Tea together. 'Me' being a favorite Author of mine once said, "somethings better than nothing." — Proud to be a 'BunkMate' - of course Metaphorically writing —

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California

'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -