Tush~Tickle
Happy Accident?
Zip-it-Up - Jean Disaster - Tail Tales
Did you ever - I know that we all have - pushed the email send button to the wrong person and just want to lunge into the screen to take it back? Come-on, mercy please take-backs! As I scream and plead into this inhumane gadget: where is its 'inanimate' heart? It could be very embarrassing; no way I did this. I blame my autocorrect filter Ai, who would certainly know me more than 'me' what I intended. Why do we even bother to think anymore? I’m sure many of you can relate to the following true tale that happened to me.
How many once believed this kind of call couldn’t actually happen; sort of like a present day urban legend? And really, if you ever pondered exactly how to CREATE this reach around yourself phenomenon, I think you’d end up in the 'Rears' wondering if there isn't a D0-Over Button attached to your jean pocket. These 'accidents' began arriving in our lives with the invent of this convenient phone/with text devices; the good with the bad as with most things. The invasion of the call accidents somehow that this Generation has blessed us with - these are never calls you’d choose to get.
I’ve overheard arguments between couples, someone dropping their keys and using the ever-popular-yet-useless stream of word filler four-letter-words, with frustration, in trying to find their Cell. Or even explantions that the caller’s phone got finger-mixed up with their purse-search for money or cosmetics; or even a 'Doobie.' So after you realize the caller didn’t mean to get your attention most of us just hang up. But, never expecting to receive an 'accidental' call such as this 'Hang-Up' was not an option. Lured in now like a Soap Opera cliffhanger enigma that needed a final episode for satisfaction, I just couldn’t put the phone down until it was solved.
— PushTush ~ Are you just GoofMessing with me? —
Was this really an accident or a cruel coward's way out of breaking up with me with this 'Mistake' call? Yet I realized that some good may come of these all too common technical irregularities. This being my longtime 'Partner' I was conditioned to smile inside at the prospect of talking to her when her name came up on my phone screen with this seemingly normal call. She, however, was interacting in a joyful manner with another man.
As the kind woman I had always perceived her to be, my initial thought was that she was talking to a waiter since she said she would be dining alone in a distant city on a business trip. There ensued repetitive smacking sounds. I could recognize her masticating anywhere, a loud chewer, you see. Then came more rustling noises than normally accompany a cell phone acting on its own in a back pocket. When whoops, high vocal notes of surprise, and playful phrases from her like “keep up now,” and "Oh right there...Yes, Yes, Yes I LIKE it,” came across the line, I was in an astonished-fit to get to the 'Bell-Bottom' of this mysterious dispatch of sounds.
Now I understand why people can’t look away from train wrecks, I was drawn to the mystery of what the 'F' was going on. I suspect these two jubilant voices were most likely in Cahoot-Hoots producing this performance to just mess with me; can't even imagine why.
So what was the good that came from this not-so-unique experience? Now available in Titaneum it’s an essential phone 24 hour app service: Insured Skinny Jeans - Fanny Phone Protection - for those of us who may not be able to find an excuse. Explanations are meaningless for the naively trusting Tush-Telly ~ 'Butt-Heads.'
— Time Washes Clean Loves Wounds Unseen —
Some of us may still be a FAN of this Cheat? Hurt people want to hurt people. But, Heart-hurt can pull you back so many times — Catch them when you CAN — Once the Forgive & Forget dust settles and if we finally DO realize we want to spend the rest our lives with that person we take the jump and pin-um-down 'tude. We want to toss that all aside and start back up as soon-as-possible so give them a Real-Tap 'Do~Over.' It could have been a 'mistake' - Nah -
Authors: We all have our personalities and unique styles of writing; it would be very boring if we were all the same. OftenTimes our favorite 'Topics' are ourselves - Our Likes~Dislikes: we Type-Banter about with our Stream of 'Metaphors' always leading the way that daily fills our 'VillageBucket'.
Sad, our little Virtual~Village can't do Tea together. 'Me' being a favorite Author of mine once said, "somethings better than nothing." — Proud to be a 'BunkMate' - of course Metaphorically writing —
Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -
About the Creator
Jay Kantor
Retired: Write for "The Kids Someday"
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Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Comments (36)
Argh, yeah, I wouldn't have been able to look away either.
Ahhh! The ruthless gremlins of technology, making our lives a little harder or perhaps just a little more interesting! Great story, Jay! Congratulations on Top Story, well deserved.
Oh no, about the phone call!! Horrible happening from butt dial. Congrats on T.S. you need to be a contributor to Charlie Gibson episodes (or something).🤣 last summer I accidentally sent a very angry cussing text to a person with whom I’d had a text and phone confrontation with - I was texting to tell my daughter, using iphone and Mac and it got all confused and went not to my daughter, but to her. 😳🤷♀️ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Congratulations on Top Story. 🎉🎉🎉So sorry for any problems/hurts caused by the butt dialing.❤️
Yep...so true, and completely hilarious Jay!
Oh, Jay! This was a bit sad, but I admire your humor and perspective here! "— Time Washes Clean Loves Wounds Unseen —": I really loved this 🥹❤️ Never change your style - I love seeing authors weave their own authenticity into their words. I try to do the same! ☺️
Buttdial, we call it here! As for the lost loves of my life, I am of the persuasion: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Too many difficult lessons learned to go back the way I... came... A pleasure to read your work in lieu of tea, as always!
Hi Jay, it has taken me a little while to decipher everything you were saying here. Language barriers aside, I think Novel Allen described you well, and I finally got it. The question I have is. Was this a recent thing or something that happened with a partner from before? Either way I wish you well. Don't change your style.
Always have to read your lyrics twice Jay, it being written in Jayanese. This was sad and funny in so many ways. I guess the butt knows when bad things are going down. Hope all is well. Blessings.
Mr J - you were right, this was indeed a great romp. I am very grateful for apple’s newest text feature - unsending a text within fifteen minutes of sending! Oh, the cringey moments that could have saved me from…
Oh my goodness. This is hilarious and horrible all at once. Wonderful piece. Congrats on the TS.
Being cheated on, butt dials, toosh texts are the worst. Always enjoy a good read from your unique voice.
Being cheated on, butt dials, toosh texts are the worst. Always enjoy a good read from your unique voice.
This was both sad and funny, and so exquisitely written!
Perfect, sir!
Laugh,…feel bad I haven’t made up my mind yet. I do know that you weave a masterful tale of woe and truths. Congratulations
Oh well!!! Accidents happen!!! Hilarious tale!!!❤️❤️💕
you do have a way to tell a story...and I love it!
Oh Jay! Ouch!
Oh my goodness. You do make me smile. Not many folk could poke fun at an experience like that and you have swaggered it onto the page! Got to say... this sentence left a real lasting laugh with me, still smiling now... 'Me' being a favorite Author of mine once said, "somethings better than nothing." Love it. BTW.. Our Celia has nominated you in the Vocal chat group for this story. I may have missed this had she not. Kudos to Celia and ✌️❤️ to you!
J-dude! This story is hilarious and SAD! I'm so sorry you had to hear that, but also better to find out than to continue on in ignorant bliss. I have received several butt dial voice messages, and sadly they are always too muffled to hear the convo. lol! But typically from someone who wouldn't be calling anyway. I just assume they are speaking all kinds of praise through those pocket filters. haha! Thank you for always bringing the laughs while also tugging at the heart. You have a way of striking that perfect balance.
Tush-Tickle..perfect title, wonderful story, and yes this mysterious and unexpected dispatch of sounds can definitely be awkward at best! Guy - S.F.
Jay - Very good writing - you took the 'Words' right out of my Mouth - Lon -
Jay, you always find the humor in situations all of us can relate to and you put our common experiences into perspective. Thank you for both the laughs and the questions to mull over long after we've finished reading your stories. Kathryn
Painfully, heartbreakingly funny. I'm glad you have enough distance to appreciate the humor in this. (You do, don't you?) Your story makes my worst known butt dial experiences pale in comparison. Two police officers showed up one evening at our door telling us that they received a 911 call from our address which they (sheepishly) were required to investigate. Quickly suspecting what had happened, we eagerly invited them in & led them to our son's bedroom where they awakened a very bleary & confused teenager to confirm that he had indeed butt-dialed 911 in his sleep. The other was a bit hurtful. It was from an instructor I had in the D.Min. program--one who never seemed particularly fond of me. I was finishing up my early morning walk when I noticed that I'd just gotten a notification for a missed call from her. I had no idea why she would be calling me period, much less at that hour of the morning, but I still called back immediately. She was furious, demanded to know how I'd gotten her personal cell phone number (uh, from you calling me, duh!), insisted she hadn't called & thoroughly berated me. I thought she might flunk me in the class just out of spite. (She did give me a passing grade, but just barely, noting that my work was actually not acceptable--for valid reasons, I might add, reasons I should have assumed though she never lifted them up at any time when assigning our final paper.) I never did learn whether it was actually a butt-dial (I have no reason to believe she would have had my number among her contacts), or simply one of those Verizon snafus that happen every once & a while. Good to have you back among the writing, Jay. Sorry you had to go through this. Finding such things out is bad enough. Finding them out in this fashion is just plain dizzying. Still, I guess it's better to know than to continue as the unwitting cuckold.