The Sublime Absurdity of Bad Poetry (And a Few Cringeworthy Gems)

An oft-forgotten and under-celebrated day, "Bad Poetry Day" is upon us. Every year on August 18, millions of people around the world ignore this day, but don't be like them! Join me on the wonderful ride through the world of bad poetry, and my own (intentional) overtly flowery, superfluously silly, and long-winded diatribe of the ancient craft of (bad) poetry.

Poetry: an evocative dance of words, weaving emotional tapestries, unraveling the universe's mysteries, and... sometimes leaving us utterly baffled. When executed with finesse, it has the power to move, inspire, and enlighten. But, every now and then, some poets miss the mark by miles, presenting us with hilariously bad stanzas.

Let's embark on a gleeful romp through the whimsical world of truly terrible verse. And remember, it's all in good fun. Even the best of us have penned lines that would make a literate cat cringe.

The Clumsy Rhymester

Some poets believe that as long as the words rhyme, they're on the right track. Observe:

"I saw a cat, it wore a hat,

It chased a rat, imagine that!

The rat was fat, but very spry,

And that is that, I can’t say why."

*

See? It's perfectly rhythmed! (Just don't ask what it means or why the cat’s choice of headwear is relevant.)

The Vague Visionary

Sometimes, poets feel the need to be profoundly... unclear.

"Whispers of the oblong sphere,

The cosmic spatula is near.

In the haze of the lunar cheese,

Seek the toasters if you please."

*

Move over, Frost and Angelou! We’ve deciphered the universe... or maybe just the secret to a good grilled cheese...

The Over-Sharer

Modern poetry has paved the way for raw emotion and candid admissions. But there’s candid, and then there’s TMI:

"Beneath my bed, a world of socks,

Lost, forgotten, paired with rocks.

Yesterday, I ate too much,

And now I suffer, stomach's clutch."

*

While empathy is key, maybe some moments are better left undocumented.

The Tortured Tautologist

Some poets seem to believe that repeating a statement somehow deepens its profundity:

"The rain is wet, oh so wet,

Watered wetness, we won’t forget.

Drenched in wetness, wetly so,

Wet is how wet things go."

*

We get it. The rain is wet. Very wet. Soakingly so.

The Misplaced Metaphor Mixer

Nothing spices up a poem like a juicy metaphor... or a dozen clashing ones:

"Her eyes, like twinkling roasters,

Burn with the passion of a thousand oysters.

Heart aflutter, like a butterfly in a car,

She danced, like a refrigerator, yet bizarre."

*

Beautiful imagery, but maybe someone should unplug before they short-circuit...

I am no stranger to the art of bad poetry. Indeed, I enjoy endulging on occasion. Sometimes, it's helpful to let loose and embrace the art of humor and not take our craft too seriously. You never know what you may find along the way.

One of my favorite poems I wrote of late was written for the "Ode to the Ordinary" challenge--a great exercise in paying homage to the most ordinary of objects. I was pleasantly surprised at this one nabbing "Top Story", and delighted in introducing writers to the ancient art of nasal irrigation with:

Though perhaps closest to my heart is my ode to the floppy disk, a relic of seemingly more ancient times still: The time before cloud storage:

Although this is written in jest it's important to remember that one man's trash is another man's treasure (see what I did there? Ah yes-hackneyed truths abound). Let's raise our pens to those brave souls who dare to pen bad poetry. For in their missteps and muddles, we find a wellspring of laughter and a reminder that even in the world of words, imperfection can be the most perfect delight.

Remember, dear poets, the next time you pen a verse that makes you cringe, you might just be crafting a masterpiece of comic relief for future generations. Until then, let the terrible rhymes and wonky metaphors continue to bring a smile to our faces and a chuckle to our hearts.