Wit
Things We All Pretend We Know How to Do
There comes a point in every person's life when you realize something deeply unsettling about adulthood: nobody knows what they're doing. As children, we assumed adults possessed information unavailable to us. They understood mortgages. They could balance a checkbook without asking anyone for help. They knew which wrench to use and the names of both screwdriver types. (Phillips, flathead) They could determine whether a melon was ripe simply by touching it. They could stand beside a broken car, stare into the engine compartment, and somehow diagnose the problem through facial expressions alone. Then we became adults and discovered the terrible truth: they're bluffing. We're all bluffing...
By The Pompous Postabout a month ago in Humor
Jell-O Shots Didn't Help. Winner in Too Hot for This Challenge.
I peeled off my clothes one inch at a time, the sweat plastered on me making it difficult. Once my pants and undies were off, I snapped the blinds shut, then flung my bra and T-shirt across the room. Lifting my breasts, I swiped a palm beneath and felt the sweat, shaking it from my hand, watching it spiral outward.
By Andrea Corwin about a month ago in Humor
Heat Makes Everyone Weird. Top Story - August 2026.
“All this rock and concrete is making me eggboiled, HEEHEE!” She swept the sweat from her hairline with the back of her hand, then pressed a tissue against her scotch‑tired eyes. She could’ve used the tissue for both, but she didn’t care. Her features were magnificent, and her head was small.
By Caitlin Charltonabout a month ago in Humor
A Brief Tour of Everyday Moments When Your Brain Abandons You in Public
Human beings have accomplished extraordinary things; we built skyscrapers, landed on the moon, split the atom, and created tiny computers capable of accessing nearly the entire accumulated knowledge of civilization from our pockets. Yet, a waiter can say, “Enjoy your meal,” and a fully functioning adult will confidently respond, “You too!” And just like that, 200,000 years of human evolution goes straight down the toilet.
By The Pompous Postabout a month ago in Humor
Self-Checkout Is Just Unpaid Employment
There was a time when grocery shopping was beautifully uncomplicated. You grabbed your groceries, rolled your cart to the front of the store, exchanged a few pleasant words with the cashier, and someone, an actual employee, bagged everything while you wondered whether you'd remembered to buy ketchup. Life was good.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
On
So, they sat around a table with condensation on it, smoking and joking. The laughter ricocheted off the walls and sounded like bursts from trumpets. Their shirts remained damp; they toweled off from the blazing heat. It didn’t matter. The sweat congregated at their temples, their foreheads, their armpits. The smell of liquor permeated the air and almost made it hotter.
By Sky Saunders2 months ago in Humor
I Don’t Trust Anyone Who Answers the Phone Anymore...
There was a time, long ago, in a gentler and more naïve civilization, when the sound of a ringing phone meant something simple. It meant someone wanted to talk to you. That time is dead… Murdered. Buried beneath an avalanche of robocalls, extended warranties, suspicious silences, heavy breathing, and one deeply committed individual who keeps asking if you’ve considered switching to solar power, even though you live in a forest yurt, and haven’t seen the sun since 2009.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
I Audited My Own Thoughts and Found Most of Them Unnecessary...
In the interest of self-improvement, clarity, and whatever passes for accountability these days, we at The Pompous Post decided to conduct a full internal audit. Not of finances, nor productivity… nor of anything useful, but that’s beside the point. We decided to audit our thoughts! Well, one of us did; the other just read it and laughed.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
