Funny

Every Thought I Had During Ikemen Sengoku
Special Story 1 Yes, I'm alive…on the outside. His scar isn't even that horrible. How did he lick his lips, though? Because there's a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it. The right way to do it is to open your mouth slightly, smirking smugly as you quickly flick the tip of your tongue over your top lip and your top teeth, which is how I imagine Moon Moon did it. The wrong way is to let your mouth gape open and do that terrible twisting and turning that TikTok boys do in those god-awful thirst traps. I DON'T SEE ENOUGH PEOPLE WRITING THAT DOWN Damn, Kojuro is a real one. If my best friend asked me to cut out her eye I would probably throw up on her. I can't believe he went through that WITHOUT anesthesia, too! His pain tolerance must be INSANE. Not him using humor to deflect. SAME. He gives such good advice. The cheek brushing has me feeling some type of way, I'm not going to lie. NOOOOOOOOOO IT'S TOO SOON TO KISS I LIKE OUR FRIENDSHIP WITH THE JOKEY FLIRTING I DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT PUSH HIM OFF COVER HIS MOUTH COVER YOUR MOUTH THEN UNCOVER YOUR MOUTH TO TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT READY NO NO NO NO NO NO NO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET. OFF. ME OH THANK GOD IT'S OVER HOW CAN HE JUST SAY THAT AFTER MAKING OUT WITH ME?!?! 😖 MASAMUNE, IF YOU PLAY ME, YOU WILL BE MY VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY HOW IS HE SO CASUAL?😭 Chapter 3 (1 - 5)No, I'm not alright, but I'm going to act like I am because I like to repress my feelings until they eat me alive from the inside out. GET. YOUR. HAND. AWAY. FROM. MY. MOUTH. You can touch my cheek. You can touch my hair. You can touch my shoulder. But if you even THINK about kissing me again, you can kiss my FIST Believe me, I'm trying to smile more, but it's hard to smile when you're being tag-teamed by economics and statistics {Don't do that.} I need to set some boundaries. MC LET ME SET THE DAMN BOUNDARY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Um, CaN YOu NoT DO ThAT?” THAT’S NOT THE OPTION I SELECTED. I WANNA BE A GIRL’S GIRL, BUT GIRL, YOU ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES I've got high hopes for you, too. I'm hoping you won't just bang me and leave me, since you probably think I'm easy prey because I gave it up so quickly. Mitsunari! :D First IeyasEW and now Hideyoshi. I swear, the next time these guys even imply, even insinuate that I am useless, I'm showing them how useful these fists can be. Okay, he's reminiscing about me, too. Maybe this isn't as one-sided as I thought. Still, I have to be careful.IeyasEW. I wanted to be friends. I wanted to be civil. I wanted to be a bigger person. But now, not only are you trying to break Moon Moon's trust in me, you're planting the idea of murdering me in his head. Even though you have a point, I'm going to have to at least get one good backhand in. YEAH, YOU BETTER TAKE IT BACK Can you kiss me on the forehead next time? I'm not comfortable with being kissed on the mouth. Hugs. Hugs are good for worried people. Better than kisses, in my opinion. See? I knew it wouldn't mean as much to him as it does to me. Okay, I don't like it. 🙂 I do love that he's genuinely curious about the future's culture around courtship, even if he is jokey about it. UGH not him throwing my own words back at me. The BANTER Chapter 3 (6 - 10)
By Wen Xiaosheng2 years ago in Humor
A CALL
A boy in an unnaturally clean, country-laundered collar walked down a long white road. He scuffed the dust up wantonly, for he wished to veil the all-too-brilliant polish of his cowhide shoes. Also the memory of the whiteness and slipperiness of his collar oppressed him. He was fain to look like one accustomed to social diversions, a man hurried from hall to hall of pleasure, without time between to change collar or polish boot. He stooped and rubbed a crumb of earth on his overfresh neck-linen.
By PoliSpeakHub2 years ago in Humor
The Great Sandwich Heist
The Great Sandwich Heist In the quiet town of Mapleshire, renowned for its serene atmosphere and impeccable public gardens, lived Sam, an unassuming librarian with a penchant for ham sandwiches. Sam’s life revolved around books, order, and his meticulously prepared lunch that he brought to work every day. One fateful Tuesday, as Sam was enjoying his usual lunch break in the library's staff room, he discovered something devastating: his beloved sandwich was missing. At first, he thought he might have misplaced it. He frantically searched his bag, the fridge, and even the trash can. Nothing. The sandwich had vanished. Determined to get to the bottom of this mystery, Sam decided to play detective. He interviewed his colleagues, but none seemed suspicious. There was Janet, the elderly librarian who wouldn’t dare touch anything that wasn’t gluten-free. Then there was Tom, the janitor, who was more into his protein shakes than sandwiches. Lastly, there was Betty, the chirpy assistant who was constantly on a diet. Sam’s mind raced with possible suspects. He set a trap the next day, making an extra special sandwich and placing it in a prominent spot in the fridge, complete with a hidden camera. He hoped to catch the thief red-handed. The next morning, Sam arrived early to retrieve the footage. To his shock, the camera revealed a bizarre scene: his sandwich levitating out of the fridge and disappearing into thin air. Sam couldn’t believe his eyes. Was it a ghost? A wizard? Or was he simply losing his mind? Determined not to be outdone by what he suspected was a supernatural phenomenon, Sam sought the help of an old friend, Max, who dabbled in amateur magic tricks. Max, always eager for an adventure, agreed to spend the next day in the library, disguised as a patron, to observe any unusual activity. Around noon, Sam and Max stationed themselves in a corner, with a clear view of the staff room. They watched as the clock ticked closer to lunch. Just as expected, Sam's sandwich began to float out of the fridge once more. Max's eyes widened in disbelief. He whispered to Sam, "We need to follow it!" The two men hurried after the floating sandwich, navigating through the library's maze of bookshelves. The sandwich led them to a dark, seldom-used corner of the library, where the wall suddenly opened up to reveal a hidden passage. They exchanged incredulous looks but bravely stepped inside. The passage led to a secret room filled with an array of peculiar objects: ancient books, odd trinkets, and an old man with a long white beard, sitting in the center, munching on Sam’s sandwich. "Who are you?" Sam demanded. The old man looked up, startled. "Oh, dear! I didn't expect visitors," he said, crumbs falling from his mouth. "My name is Alistair. I'm a retired magician. I live here, hidden from the world." "But why are you stealing my sandwiches?" Sam asked, perplexed. Alistair sighed. "I’m terribly sorry about that. I’ve been living here for years, feeding off the energy of the library to sustain my magic. Recently, I’ve grown fond of your sandwiches. They’re quite delicious, you see. I didn’t mean any harm." Sam and Max exchanged looks of bewilderment. It was an explanation they hadn’t anticipated. Max, always one for turning situations to his advantage, grinned. "Alistair, if you promise not to steal Sam’s food anymore, how about teaching us a few of your tricks? It could be our little secret." Alistair’s eyes twinkled with amusement. "I think that could be arranged." From that day on, Sam’s sandwiches remained safe, and he and Max spent their evenings learning magic from Alistair. The quiet town of Mapleshire remained peaceful, with the secret of the great sandwich heist known only to a select few. And in the library, hidden behind rows of books, there was now a new section—one filled with the wonders of magic, friendship, and the occasional floating sandwich.
By Ajay2 years ago in Humor
Every Thought I Had During Ikemen Sengoku
Chapter 1 (1-5) Yayyy! Food!!!! I'm getting one of everything HEHEHEHEHEHE I'M GONNA GAIN SO MUCH WEIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA Yes, Hideyoshi, I am lost. Thank you so much – Again with the dungeons. Just when I thought he was warming up to me 😑 👋😐 Good evening... Can I help you…? Oh okay, it's just a question. Just answer the question and it'll be fine. If he wanted to kill you, your head would be rolling around on the floor by now. {Stay calm.} Sorry Sasuke. I know you said to keep this a secret, but I'd like to live. No, it's not a story, and I've been trying to tell everyone that since I got here. This is my notebook. This is where I write down all my stories. HE CALLED ME TALENTED HE CALLED ME TALENTED 🥹 Do you really think so? Thank you, that means so much to me! Thank you! Thank you! ☺️ Did he just rip a page out of my story?! Don't do that. I - 😃 - there goes the first chapter. At least he tore it out cleanly. But I'm asking him to give it back tomorrow. *writing it down diligently* Firstly, arrange lodgings for the group that is arriving late. Oh my gosh he gave me rice cake! I LOVE RICE CAKE Please give Masamune my thanks! NOT HIM USING ME AS A POISON TESTER 😭. Great, now they think I'm a moron! And they’re not wrong. At least Hideyoshi trusts me more now. Honestly, if someone did want to kill me, poison is the way to go. Even if someone told me my food is poisoned, I'd feel compelled to eat it because I don't want to waste food. I've been here for two seconds and IeyasEW’s already insulting me. I mean, I might as well fight him. I'll probably lose, but if I get a few hits in maybe he won't be so RUDE anymore. It would be my honor, Ieyasu 👹
By Wen Xiaosheng2 years ago in Humor
Persistent Quality Problems Threaten To Sink Burgeoning No-Tie Shoelace Industry
Author's preface: For more on this topic see my previous award winning review here of some of the top no tie laces available today.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
The Wealthy Burglar
As many of you know, I am in the process of changing homes. This has meant a great deal of packing, cleaning up and decision-making over what to toss and what to keep. I have found old photographs and notebooks that I will treasure forever, along with other documents that I wish I had not seen. One such item came from the government. It noted how much money I would receive as part of the national pension plan if I retired in 2022 (it was an old letter). Now, things did not look good then, and they would probably not look too good many years down the road when I actually decided to retire. And the bills are still coming in and the rent will still need to be paid. What to do?
By Kendall Defoe 2 years ago in Humor
Balkan humor as medicine.
Anna came to deliver for the seventh time, so the doctor asks her: You again? Doesn't your husband use any protection? Anna replies:
By Sen Sab2 years ago in Humor
Harold's Hilarious Happily Ever After"
Once upon a time, in the small village of Giggleford, there lived a man named Harold Puddlewhump. Harold was known for two things: his ability to trip over absolutely nothing and his love for his chubby, grumpy cat, Mrs. Fluffykins. But most of all, Harold was famous for his terrible luck in love.
By Vinceolar2 years ago in Humor
50 Reasons Why Some People Can’t Mind Their Own G*ddamn Business
Okay, so it’s NOT an exhaustive index. Not politically correct, not research-based, and not applicable in every case. It does not target anyone or anything in particular, nor is it an indictment of those who may or may not have one or more characteristics/qualities, etc., within the list.
By The Dani Writer2 years ago in Humor
Bless Me Father for I Have Sinned. Top Story - June 2024.
So, here’s me sitting on the 7b bus heading into town. I shouldn’t be on the bus. I don’t want to be on the bus. I should be on a bike, legs pumping like pistons. The freedom of the open road. Direction where the tyres press, as the poet said.
By Brendan Donaghy2 years ago in Humor
Every Thought I Had During Ikémen Sengoku
April 10th, 2023. I’m bundled up in my blanket, giggling hysterically as the light from the blinding white rectangle of my phone pierces into my pupils. My maniacal cackling only increases in intensity when I realize I sound like Ed from the Lion King, and I clamp a hand over my mouth, so my family will not have me sent to the psychiatric unit that I obviously need to be contained in.
By Wen Xiaosheng2 years ago in Humor
Why Porky Pig Continues to Captivate Audiences for Decades
Porky Pig, one of the most beloved characters from the Looney Tunes universe, has been charming audiences for decades with his endearing stutter and gentle personality. As one of the earliest stars in the Warner Bros. cartoon stable, Porky has left an indelible mark on animation history. This article delves into the origins, evolution, and enduring appeal of this iconic character, shedding light on why Porky Pig continues to capture the hearts of viewers young and old. The Birth of Porky Pig Porky Pig made his first appearance in the 1935 short film "I Haven't Got a Hat," directed by Friz Freleng. Created during a time when Warner Bros. was experimenting with various characters to rival Disney's Mickey Mouse, Porky emerged as a standout figure. The character was initially designed by animator Bob Clampett, who drew inspiration from a real-life person named Porky from his childhood. The initial design was quite different from the Porky we recognize today, with a more rotund and less refined appearance. Evolution Through the Years Over the years, Porky Pig underwent several transformations, both in terms of physical appearance and personality. Early versions of Porky were more childlike and naïve, often finding himself in situations that required quick thinking and bravery. As the character evolved, so did his design, becoming sleeker and more polished. This evolution was driven by the need to keep the character fresh and relatable to audiences as animation techniques improved and tastes changed. One of the most significant changes came with the introduction of Mel Blanc as the voice of Porky Pig. Blanc, often referred to as the "Man of a Thousand Voices," brought a unique stutter to Porky's speech, a characteristic that became his trademark. This stutter was not just a gimmick but a defining trait that added depth and humor to the character, making him more relatable and endearing. Iconic Moments and Episodes Porky Pig has starred in numerous memorable episodes and shorts that have cemented his status as a cartoon legend. One of his most famous roles was in "Porky's Duck Hunt" (1937), which also marked the debut of another iconic character, Daffy Duck. The chemistry between Porky and Daffy created a dynamic that was both hilarious and engaging, leading to many more collaborations between the two. Another notable appearance was in "Porky in Wackyland" (1938), where Porky embarks on a surreal adventure in search of the elusive Dodo bird. This short is often celebrated for its imaginative animation and inventive storytelling, showcasing Porky's adaptability to different narrative styles. Porky Pig's Cultural Impact Porky Pig's influence extends beyond the realm of cartoons. As one of the first characters to gain widespread popularity, he played a crucial role in shaping the future of animation. His success paved the way for other Looney Tunes characters and helped establish Warner Bros. as a powerhouse in the animation industry. Moreover, Porky's signature line, "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!" has become one of the most recognizable catchphrases in pop culture. This closing line, often used at the end of Looney Tunes cartoons, encapsulates the lighthearted and whimsical nature of the series, leaving audiences with a smile and a sense of nostalgia. The Character's Relatability One of the reasons Porky Pig has endured for so long is his relatability. Unlike some of the more flamboyant and outlandish characters in the Looney Tunes lineup, Porky is often portrayed as an everyman—kind, earnest, and occasionally bumbling. His struggles and triumphs resonate with audiences because they mirror the everyday challenges and victories that people experience in their own lives. Porky's stutter, rather than being a hindrance, adds to his charm and makes him more human. It serves as a reminder that imperfections are part of what makes us unique and lovable. This relatability has allowed Porky to connect with generations of viewers, creating a lasting bond that transcends time and cultural shifts. Porky Pig in Modern Times Even after nearly nine decades, Porky Pig remains a relevant and cherished character. He continues to appear in new Looney Tunes productions, including the recent "Looney Tunes Cartoons" on HBO Max, where his classic charm is preserved while being introduced to a new generation of fans. These modern iterations respect the character's legacy while updating his adventures to fit contemporary sensibilities and humor. Moreover, Porky has made cameo appearances in various films and television shows, further cementing his status as a cultural icon. His presence in movies like "Space Jam" (1996) and its sequel "Space Jam: A New Legacy" (2021) showcases his enduring appeal and versatility as a character. The Legacy of Porky Pig Porky Pig's legacy is one of resilience, adaptability, and timeless charm. As one of the pioneering figures in animation, he has set a standard for character development and storytelling that continues to inspire animators and filmmakers. His journey from a secondary character to a beloved star is a testament to the power of creativity and the enduring appeal of well-crafted characters. In celebrating Porky Pig, we honor not just a cartoon character, but a piece of cultural history that has brought joy and laughter to millions. His endearing personality, iconic voice, and memorable catchphrases have left an indelible mark on the world of animation, ensuring that Porky Pig will continue to be a cherished figure for generations to come. Conclusion Porky Pig's journey through the annals of animation history is a story of transformation, resilience, and enduring charm. From his humble beginnings in the 1930s to his continued presence in modern media, Porky has remained a beloved character, capturing the hearts of audiences with his relatable personality and iconic stutter. As we look back on the legacy of Porky Pig, we celebrate not just a cartoon character, but a symbol of the timeless appeal of animation and the joy it brings to our lives. "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!"
By Cool Searches 2 years ago in Humor