50 Reasons Why Some People Can’t Mind Their Own G*ddamn Business

Okay, so it’s NOT an exhaustive index.

Not politically correct, not research-based, and not applicable in every case. It does not target anyone or anything in particular, nor is it an indictment of those who may or may not have one or more characteristics/qualities, etc., within the list.

Please refer to the community category top left of this page should you get lost/confused/bent out of shape.

Backstory:-

It started when I read the poem. This poem by 'Vocalioness' Dharrsheena Raja Segarran:

It brought up some stuff.

The kinda stuff that happens your whole life when suddenly you realize maybe you never said anything about it. Were tight-lipped. Wanted to keep the peace. But now...I can write about it.

I want to rectify my silence on the matter for myself and maybe for others too. You know, just in case some of those well-meaning souls are still drawing breath after consistently doling out their 'un-asked-for', unwelcome advice.

Repeatedly.

Religiously.

Relentlessly.

Concerning lives that were not theirs. Like we recipients were exuberant and overjoyed to get it when we never so much as blinked in that direction.

50 Positively Plausible Reasons:

1. Putting tape over their mouths is tantamount to grievous bodily harm and is only appropriate in a kidnapping. Our fault for not changing the legislation. A little tape appropriately applied is a little like emergency DIY waxing ain’t it?

2. They are in denial about their addiction. "Oh, I don’t have to do this." (Yes, you do, you turbot-tail!)

3. Too many people didn’t want to hurt their feelings (*Both hands raised* I am guilty in the past of being “people.”)

4. Not enough, “Mind your own business” responses to unwanted advice.

5. Not enough, “Do that again and I’ll eff you up” responses to unwanted advice.

6. They don’t have the kahunas to be psychologists, guidance counselors, life coaches, etc.

7. Poor ratio distribution: Exceptionally large noses and mouths with miniscule capacities for self-restraint.

8. Little to no community support groups due to the sensitive/complex nature of operations, human resource allocation, and maintenance of anonymity through to upper echelons of society’s leadership even though it’s glaringly evident whose mouths won’t stop yapping about everyone’s business but their own.

9. Failed god complexes. Now that’s downright sad and lazy.

10. THEY. ARE. COMPENSATING. FOR. SOMETHING.

11. Drinking, driving, _______, _______, and_______ privileges were revoked. Just not safe anywhere doing anything huh?

12. Not getting enough sex.

13. Not getting any sex.

14. Never got the hang of oral sex which totally chillaxes you and sufficiently (albeit temporarily) disrupts the vocal chord from frontal lobe connections and the ability to form coherent sentences.

15. A defense mechanism since constant criticism/interference keeps attention from drifting to their inadequacies.

16. Because they are not on a public registered list of obnoxious busybodies. How does privacy legislation even apply here to those who keep violating it?

17. It’s not considered a breach of national security…yet. (Hmmm, I wonder if…)

18. Too much time on their hands.

19. It has been socially tolerated. Our fault again.

20. They live in reality ‘La-la TV-land.’

21. They’re overeducated.

22. They’re undereducated.

23. They’re in-between-educated.

24. Medical marvels for mutation of a radical DNA sequence with an isolated genetic trait for “I know what’s best for everybody.”

25. Dejected because “Dear Abby” beat them to the punch and they haven’t a clue on how to start a blog. Community service opportunity right here!

26. Truth: Cannot think of enough alternative activities to do with their mouths. A lack of creativity and imagination. Typical.

27. Repetitive negative feedback loop because they don’t feel like they get enough attention/credit/appreciation/tax relief/dental insurance/marketing calls/three-bean salad/barbecue privileges/Add additional 'First World Problems' here___________________________.

28. Their own life isn’t enough, they need many.

29. Never have they ever been asked to put their money where their mouth is, then have someone actually come back to collect.

30. Never have they ever had the news broken to them that they’re not experts on your life—not even a little bit.

31. Deficient repercussions during formative years. (See #4, #5.)

32. Easier for them to talk about life and how one should live it than to get one.

33. Negative side-effects from a hastily prepared pharmaceutical drug. Told you not to take that mess. Did you listen? No.

34. Ruined their life (shhh!) and want to ruin yours too.

35. In opposition to everything but their own opinion. Maybe create a clone?

36. Missed the ‘M.Y.O.B* discussion series' we all got in school.

37. Don’t have an ever-living clue as to what the outside of a personal boundary looks like.

38. There needed to be an intervention. There was never any intervention.

39. Classic “assumptionitis.” They assume you don’t know how to make sound life choices.

40. Require a partial/total personality makeover.

41. Longest running challenge contest for inept/unsolicited advice and in fervent desire to win, they’ve entered numerous times.

42. Feel like they are "helping."

43. If they stopped meddling in other people’s lives, their own lives would implode.

44. They took the “blue pill” and the “red pill.” (See 1999 film ‘The Matrix.’)

45. They are in love with you/attracted to you/excited for you/afraid for you and don’t know how to say it, soooo...

46. Their underwear been two sizes too small. Uncomfortable people make people uncomfortable.

47. Doctors can’t treat this condition and nurses ain’t got the time and don’t get paid enough.

48. They live in glass houses and nobody throws stones anymore because they forgot how. The realities of digital age casualties.

49. They’re constipated. Send laxatives.

50. This personality irritant hasn’t been given a sufficiently high profile ‘scientificky’ name for it to be classified as an addiction/compulsion worthy of more marketing coverage and research. I propose ‘assumptionitis.’ Quick, somebody start a nonprofit!

*Mind Your Own Business

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People who read way down to the end are multi-colored sprinkles on the whipped cream of life.

Thank you! You're awesome and then some!