Family
Things We All Pretend We Know How to Do
There comes a point in every person's life when you realize something deeply unsettling about adulthood: nobody knows what they're doing. As children, we assumed adults possessed information unavailable to us. They understood mortgages. They could balance a checkbook without asking anyone for help. They knew which wrench to use and the names of both screwdriver types. (Phillips, flathead) They could determine whether a melon was ripe simply by touching it. They could stand beside a broken car, stare into the engine compartment, and somehow diagnose the problem through facial expressions alone. Then we became adults and discovered the terrible truth: they're bluffing. We're all bluffing...
By The Pompous Post3 months ago in Humor
The Quick Dip Wasn't So Quick
"Jesus Christ it's hot!" yelled Michael. Michael went by Mike, except at work, and today he wasn't feeling the heat, so even hearing his name called was bad. It was nearly 100 degrees, and the heat index was somewhere between ridiculous and torture. As he stood there, in the line with his compatriots, feeling like he'd walked out of a rain shower, he walked forward with a menacing look.
By Jason Morton3 months ago in Humor
Melting in midsummer
I know i'm not the first nor shall I be the last person to vocalise how hard the heat wave is at the moment, at forty something years old I am at the beautiful juncture of life that all women hit, that's right, perimenopausal. Let me just say if nature could put the pause on it that would be frickin fantastic! Most days are spent in a sweaty fluid heap either in the garden or in a hothouse quite literally trying to get as cool as possible,every once in a while I get a sudden burst of energy flow through me then my hormones decided a hot flash is the way to go. Then a mundane task such as hanging out the washing becomes a shower worthy experience. The task of then trying to maintain a level of dignity whilst wiping sweat out of your eyes becomes a hellish experience when you forget that you are wearing glasses to help you see and become temporarily blind as the nose pieces then end up jabbing you in the eyes. Feeling like a prize prat the descision to then just sit comfortably in the living room in front of the fan whilst seemingly the best idea yet,then became a noxious experience as,also suffering with heat,our newest addition,the cutest little terrier ever,decides that the fan is now her best friend and proceeds to "perfume" the air frequently, making the nice cool living room now such a noxious enviroment that only flies can breathe in it! In all what should have been a rather more cooling situation then ended up forcing us all back outside or upstairs to escape only to have the little perfume cloud follow us wherever we chose to retire. Fast forward to evening when the heat should abate and yet still there is no sign of relenting from the heat or the dryness of what is now afflicting the country and a new air con unit seems to be the way forward,glancing through different sites,one of my favourite being Temu, I locate a unit that says its capable of cooling a 17x17x17 room and despite the fact that I will have to endure a couple of weeks of heat it will all be worth it in the end to be able to shut off and have an acceptably cool room for us all to enjoy and its an absolute steal at half the price of a normal air con unit,what could be better?
By Nadine Haigh3 months ago in Humor
A Brief Tour of Everyday Moments When Your Brain Abandons You in Public
Human beings have accomplished extraordinary things; we built skyscrapers, landed on the moon, split the atom, and created tiny computers capable of accessing nearly the entire accumulated knowledge of civilization from our pockets. Yet, a waiter can say, “Enjoy your meal,” and a fully functioning adult will confidently respond, “You too!” And just like that, 200,000 years of human evolution goes straight down the toilet.
By The Pompous Post3 months ago in Humor
