Something's Gotta Give

This heat consumes me

like the fog clings to clover

A submerging tsunami

that I’m trying to get over

*

Stealing my senses

and my next breath away

Knocking down my defenses

a game I don’t want to play

*

A heavy coat draped and tailored

stopping air in its tracks

Like 33 hours in labor

with sweat dripping down my back

*

Secretions creating a pool

or bubbling jacuzzi

My eyes roll and I drool

as I'm slowly dehydrating

*

My clothes are sticking like glue

the one with that big gorilla

I'm forced to sniffing my shoe

because I smell like a tortilla

*

And I'm making myself hungry

and that just grosses me out

what is wrong with me

I'm salivating from my mouth

*

My fingers looks like sausages

the little ones dipped in syrup

Or a variety of sauces

all so juicy and plump

*

OMG, stop it!

*

This heat is making me crazy

and I feel a bit dizzy

you know, I bet I'd be tasty

with an umbrella drink that was fizzy

*

Snap out of it guuurrl...

that's smell you smells' not appealing

Your sanity's come unfurled

you smell like you should be squealing

*

All frizzy and drippy

with far too many things on

I'm afraid they'll have me committed

if I laid nude on the lawn

*

But the air's still not working

It's been off since July

The fan desperately whirring

the temperature set at "fry"

*

Now I've devoured all the ice cubes

the freezer just can't keep up

Binging "life below zero" on the boob-tube

melted ice cream in my cup

*

My swimming pools' like a sandbox

the waters evaperated

Last night my neighbor called the cops

apparently, I'm too animated

*

Fanning my refrigerator door

trying to keep myself cool

I asked permission before

I started fanning his too

*

I mean what did he expect

when he disconnected the cord

Such blatant disrespect

from a man of the lord

*

I mean, It's important to share

and take care of your neighbor

Pulling them around by their hair

is frowned on by the creator

*

I'm pretty sure that's not what was meant

when he said turn the other cheek

It's okay if you want to vent

but with your AC, I mean

*

Their pool, like an oasis

shimmering cool under the sun

My eyes like Bette Davis

as they splash around having fun

*

I've become so bloated

they mistook me for a floatie

And I nearly exploded

when they did cannon balls on me

*

My skin is all blotchy

my face is more purple than red

I'm overly crotchety

you can no longer see my neck

*

From prolonged exposure to heat

with no signs of improvement

I'm like a raw piece of meat

in stages of deterioration

*

The weather man assures us

in his light blue leisure suit

That hydration's a must

and this heat will be ending soon

*

For now, do your best to stay calm

and stay in, out of the sun

Be sure to wear your sun balm

and be patient with everyone

*

I smirk as I road rage

in the grocery aisle

You'd think a woman my age

could muster a better fake smile

*

The speakers blaring yacht rock

music to soothe the savage beasts

I'm in the cooler with the broccoli

and they've summoned the priest

*

It may just take an exorcism

to save the real me from myself

Before they throw me in prison

or send me directly to hell

*

All I know is -

something simply has to give

I'm seeping from every orifice

I'm leaking like a sieve

*

Someone give me a biggie bag of ice

Pleasssse

I wanna be nice

but it's just too hot for this