So Fresh and Socratic

Logline: After experiencing a mental health crisis, a young philosophy major takes a break from college and finds himself exploring life’s big questions with the single mom in apartment 6E – from their respective showers.

Synopsis: So Fresh and Socratic is a dark comedy about Wynn, a 20-year-old with panic disorder who, in the throes of an existential crisis, leaves his undergraduate school to move back home. While lost in his own thoughts on western philosophy, the terror that will befall him if he doesn’t iron his underwear, and Nietzsche’s alleged preference for aniseed biscuits at breakfast time, Wynn makes a surprising connection with 26-year-old single mother, Cora. Cora shares a shower wall with Wynn’s dad’s apartment bathroom, and the two awkwardly discover that they can have meaningful discussions between shampooing and conditioning, respectively. Through their conversations (which involve recounting the events of their vastly different days and musing about whether or not Plato would have joined Grindr), Wynn learns that getting naked and exposing his fears can lead to living life in a courageous way he never thought possible.

Characters:

WYNN – a 20-year-old male with a diagnosis of panic disorder and a preoccupation with examining the purpose of life. Wynn is often tackled by events (and by dogs, coincidentally, because he carries an “ethically-sourced” pastrami sandwich with him wherever he goes). Wynn has seen the way his affable father and comically self-absorbed mother have stumbled through life, and he has thus decided that there has to be a right way and a wrong way to do everything. His fixation on philosophy and upholding the invisible and ever-changing laws of the world mean he often isn’t invited to parties. When he needs a break from the immense pressure that he places on himself, Wynn watches Murder, She Wrote and pretends Angela Lansbury is rubbing his back.

CORA – a 26-year-old single mom with one child (a 10-year-old named Jacklyn) who is a labor and delivery nurse. Cora has always been a compassionate and agreeable caretaker, once voluntarily taking in her ex-girlfriend’s geriatric Chihuahuas until they very-slowly died in her bed, holding each other like the couple in The Notebook, while she slept on the couch due to her severe allergies. Cora is in love with her daughter, but also quite scared of her, swearing up and down that the 10-year-old has begun puberty already and has subsequently grown fangs. Cora comes from a very religious and strict family who often question her sexuality (she is bisexual) and tattoos (she has two very detailed faces of Lil Jon on the same ankle that she claims are birth marks).

NOEL – Wynn’s 17-year-old younger brother, who is quite enigmatic and strongly suspected by his family to be the leader/founder of an underground cult that focuses on robotics and dissecting Mad Max movies. The words “club president” were kicked around, but then a couple of kids from Noel's school showed up at his home and only addressed the high school senior as “Our Animatronic Papa.” Noel can often be found at a bodega down the street, talking with the cashier about why Nicolas Cage will someday play him in a biopic based on his life. He can also be heard asking for a discount on the sour straws.

DENNIS – Wynn and Noel's upbeat father and jazz-hands personified. Dennis Benjamin is a man in his mid-sixties who somehow attracts unfortunate events, despite being a telemarketer-respecting, feminist, and generous-tipping ray of beaming sunshine. This retired orthodontist has, on two separate occasions, been hit by a car while assisting people with directions. He is somehow close friends with everyone involved in said accidents and was an officiant for the wedding of one of the driver's daughters; his ribs still hurt when he laughs. Wynn's mother, Melody, ended up having an affair with the hospice nurse caring for Dennis's father, after which Dennis granted her an amicable divorce. Even so, Dennis agreed to provide Melody free teeth retainers for life.

Pilot Episode of So Fresh and Socratic: S1 Ep 1 "The Painting"

INT. STARKLY LIT SHOWER IN APARTMENT BATHROOM

Open on blood circling the drain in a running shower. Two awkward feet (covered in sparse hairs) splash around by the continued crimson drizzle.

WYNN [Muttering to himself] Okay, okay, quit bleeding already.

The camera zooms out to show Wynn, a lean young man, naked and anxious, in the shower while his black-and-blue nose drips blood. He has a defeated expression as he alternates between holding his nostrils and sniffling. The audience can only see above the scrawny waist, as to keep this series network-TV-appropriate in case all streaming services take a hard pass.

WYNN [Louder, but still to himself, quoting ARISTOTLE woefully] The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain.

VOICE FROM OTHER SIDE OF INTERIOR SHOWER WALL [Concernedly, friendly] Hey, are you okay?

WYNN [Releasing his nose and tilting his head up to gaze at the ceiling] God?

Only Wynn is in frame during interactions, Cora's voice coming to him through the wall as he listens.

CORA There are twins in Hoboken who consider me a deity, but no. I’m your neighbor, Cora; not trying to be a creep. I just heard you losing it through these cheap walls. Usually, it's some old dude singing Aerosmith over there. But quoting Aristotle means there’s some anguish in your bathroom, huh?

WYNN [Thoughtfully] With all due respect, miss, I’m naked and bleeding, so . . . wait, you know Aristotle?

CORA I’m familiar with the dude, but definitely vibe more with Socrates. Oh! [Cursing] I just cut myself shaving. Now we’re both bleeding. [Sighing] I like that Socrates was about breaking down ethical questions by asking more questions. He believed in an exchange of ideas, even discord – like that is how the world makes sense, how law and order can happen. By sharing and analyzing.

WYNN [Pressing a hand to the blue tiling and smoothing his finger over the grout] I don’t want you to waste your water trying to analyze my story.

CORA Then make it quick. I have one more leg to shave, and there's a patch on my knee where hair won't grow. I am a higher power, remember?

As Wynn opens his mouth, camera cuts.

INT. LECTURE HALL WITH TIERED SEATING

Flashback to earlier that same day. Wynn sits in the middle of a row, appearing constipated and stressed. He’s sweating, taking notes, and trying not to bump the student next to him with his shaky elbow. The professor is monotoned and aggressive at the front of the classroom, currently talking about their upcoming midterms. Behind the professor, a painting hangs; a plaque is drilled into the wall below the artwork that reads: SOCRATES.

VEIN-BULGING PROFESSOR [Ranting] --Not for the weak of heart. Some of you have just been scraping by, not thinking critically enough. And you’ll be weeded out by the time midterm grades are posted, I know that much. Because some of you don’t belong here. Some of you think you’ll find easy answers to your messy lives by quoting philosophers and savoring your own farts. Well, think again, buckos!

Wynn, trembling uncontrollably and appearing very pale, pushes back his chair with a drawn-out creak. He holds a hand to his heaving chest, clearly having a panic attack. Camera zooms in on his quivery, glistening, face for a moment before he promptly vomits on the floor to the right of his chair. One girl shrieks out that he’s splashed her jelly sandals. Another very stiff and anxious student, whose glasses are thicker than the food chunks on Wynn's chin, gives Wynn a solemn look before dropping notebook paper over the mound of vomit; the student tells Wynn that he’ll soon learn to “swallow it back down like a real man.”

With his eyes wide and his legs wobbly, Wynn stands up and very unsteadily heads down the row toward the professor and his podium. Someone whispers, “Kid definitely had pastrami today,” while other students just grimace in his wake.

READY-TO-SCRAP PROFESSOR Young man, I’m quite familiar with the antics of Will Smith, and I do promise that I will slap you right back.

Wynn bypasses the professor and grabs the painting from the wall. He awkwardly tries to ease it down, but instead it lands on him, and he collapses to the floor with a groan. The classroom is now stiflingly silent. Using his moist hands, Wynn tries to lift the painting up and bring it with him, but it slips and lands on his toe. He releases a whimper before stumbling to his feet. Someone coughs.

CORA'S VOICE OVER THE UNFOLDING SCENE "For the love of me, skip ahead. This is like when the couple in 6S hosts one of their swinger parties. Too many safe words, not enough action."

WYNN'S VOICE AS ON-SCREEN WYNN TRIES TO DRAG THE PAINTING PAST THE PROFESSOR "Wait a minute - is that what was going on when I spent the night here at my dad's last weekend? I heard some guy yell out, 'She smells like potting soil, Jennifer! You know my dad left my family to go to Hollywood and then ended up working for a landscaping company! You know this!' "

CORA'S VOICE AS ON-SCREEN WYNN'S SHOULDERS BEGIN TO TREMBLE WHILE HE SOBS "Bingo. Keith keeps pretending he's not monogamous, but, you know: 'if the promise ring fits.' So, what happened next?"

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS PARKING LOT

Camera cuts to Wynn and his professor carrying the painting out through the university doors and into the parking lot. Wynn is considerably less pale, but still sweaty. He appears meek, watching his professor intently as they step over a curb.

SURPRISINGLY-BUFF PROFESSOR Are you going to tell me what that was about, mister. . . ?

WYNN Uh, Benjamin, sir. Wynn Benjamin. And, well, I believe I had a panic attack, which happens. Often I have one after your class, because when you're talking about utilitarianism you kind of look like you've been possessed, and then you dismiss us and I worry about where I would acquire holy water if I should ever need it. [Shifting the painting in his hands and clearing his throat] I think I'm going to fail your class, even though I know all of the material. I know these philosophers and their theories like the back of my hand. And if I tell my dad I flunked a class in my major, he'll still say he's so proud of me for trying. No. I have to bring Socrates with me.

FURROWED-BROW PROFESSOR Huh. So, you'll get kicked out for stealing from the university, then. In your mind, that's better than failing one course? What would Socrates say about your stealing?

WYNN [Avoiding eye contact] He believed that no one committed wrongdoings voluntarily. We all do the best we can.

A-DEMON-IS-HIS-PUPPET-MASTER PROFESSOR And you mentioned utilitarianism, Mr. Benjamin. [Turning sideways as both men carry the painting past a row of cars] Tell me, what do utilitarians say about stealing?

Over the professor's shoulder, Wynn notices two young lanky teenagers running through the parking lot, heading in their direction. The individuals appear stirred-up and slightly unhinged, looking like they'd just chugged a couple of Mountain Dews and then crushed the cans against their foreheads behind a KFC.

WYNN [Eyes bouncing between the nearing adolescents and the professor's face] Er, utilitarians claim that the consequences of stealing are what determines whether the act is good or bad. It's not the act itself that carries weight, it's about what happens after the theft.

SERVING-UP-A-STEAMING-BOWL-OF-LESSON PROFESSOR Look, son, I'm helping you carry this painting to your car so that you might realize your mistake and let it go. Before this gets out of--

The two boys ambush Wynn and his professor, and Wynn recognizes one of them to be his younger brother, Noel. Noel is a shaggy-haired poster boy for Kid Who Says He Was Abducted By Aliens But Really Just Napped In A Nordstrom Once And Woke Up With A Mannequin's Hand Down His Pants. Before Wynn can say anything, Noel's companion kicks the professor in the shin, and Noel punches Wynn square in the face.

NOEL [Very flatly, shaking out his hand] This is a robbery. Give us the painting of the old dude.

NOEL'S HYPER FRIEND Yeah, we're into Santa. Year round, baby!

The professor releases the painting and scurries off with a yell. Wynn holds his nose and mutters a sad greeting to his brother.

Camera cuts again to the present.

INT. BACK IN RUNNING SHOWER

Wynn faces the shower nozzle and sputters out dejectedly as the downpour of water hits his battered face.

WYNN Apparently, someone in my class was using their phone to live stream my descent into moral ambiguity. My brother, Noel, saw the video on YouTube and decided to take one of his friends to help me out. He thought it'd look good if my professor and I were both victims of theft. I'm now on a leave of absence for the rest of the semester. And I'll have to appear before the school board in the fall; they'll determine if I'm mentally well enough to return.

CORA Oh boy. So, what happened to the painting?

WYNN It's here. And I'm not sure if it's right or wrong that I have it. But, I think I'll wrap it and give it to my dad. His birthday is tomorrow.

FLASH-FORWARD - INT. BENJAMIN FAMILY LIVING ROOM

Cut to Wynn's dad pulling out the painting from a gift bag and clapping his hands.

DENNIS [Earnest and excitedly] Oh, I love ZZ Top!

Cut back to present.

INT. WYNN'S RUNNING SHOWER

CORA [Laughing] You're going to be okay. You know that right? All of these dead, white philosophers you've been quoting didn't write and blather on so you would use their words for your own rigid life manual. You're at a good place to start anything. The only true wisdom is in knowing--

WYNN [With the beginnings of a small smile, the first of this episode] That I know nothing.

CORA Just look at this painting of yours and remember that he's not your messiah, he's just a dude who was apparently quoted a lot.

WYNN [Lathering up his armpits] You know, if I'm being honest, the artist Christina Mastrangelo - she's a classical realist - and, surprisingly, there isn't much likeness between the painting and the philosopher.

LOW-VOICED MAN WHO SOUNDS LIKE HE IS BOTH A NARRATOR OF AN EPIC MOVIE AND A BURLY BIKER Hold on, I saw two squirrely kids carrying that painting into the building. That's not Socrates, brother. That's San Benedetto, the guy who created rules for monks living in monasteries. You know, hashtag monk life.

WYNN [Slack-jawed] Who is this?

Camera cuts.

INT. CORA'S SHOWER WITH WHITE BACKSPLASH

Cora is a woman in her mid-twenties with kind and relaxed eyes. She's currently only shown from the bare shoulders up, rinsing conditioner out of her hair. Next to her, shaving his chin, is a big tattooed Jason Momoa type. The two seem comfortable in the small 36-inch shower.

RED [Carefree, Labrador Retriever-like] Who's San Benedetto you ask? He was pretty cool. He talked about finding your people to do life with.

WYNN No, I mean you. Who are you?

RED [Guffawing, guilelessly] I'm Red. Total Leo, but I relate strongly to Capricorns.

CORA Red just needed a hot shower this morning. He loves my sweet pea body wash, too. Don't you, you little turkey [nudges RED before shutting off water]. [Addressing WYNN] It's been nice talking with you, suds bud. Thanks for sharing. Same time, same place? Except maybe I'll take a bath next time.

Cut to Wynn. He feels his nose to discover he's not bleeding anymore. He straightens his shoulders and looks at the camera, appearing bewildered and. . . hopeful?

FADE TO BLACK - END OF EPISODE

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Cover art is done by the incredibly talented Christina Grace Mastrangelo. You can find more of her pieces at:

https://www.christinamastrangelo.com/home

Please, check out her work!