Hilariously Funny Jokes to Make Your Friends and Family Laugh

Hilariously Funny Jokes to Make Your Friends and Family Laugh

Need a laugh? We found the funniest jokes around to tell all of your friends and family. You'll be sure to brighten someones day when you unleash a hilarious joke when they least expect it.

• What was the rain told by the dirt? My name will be mud if you continue like this!
• Why was the sunflower unable to ride a bike? Its petals fell off.
• Where does an egg like to go on vacation? City of New York.
• I recently consumed a sock. It took a lot of time.
• Which candies do astronauts prefer? Martian bars.
• I looked around for some camo pants, but none were available.
• Who slips and doesn't require a bandage? a downpour.
• I was about to make you laugh with a boxing joke, but I forgot the punchline.
• I don't like spring cleaning. To be completely honest, I too dislike cleaning in the summer, fall, and winter.
• How come the egg hid? The animal was a small chicken.
• I placed an Amazon purchase for a chicken and an egg. I'll inform you.
• Which month of the year has the shortest days? There are only three letters in "May."

• What was spoken by the snail that was perched on the turtle? Wheeeee!
• You folks didn't enjoy the time travel joke I was about to tell, though.
• What do you call a kangaroo that is lazy? a potato pouch.
• When I operated a dating service for chickens, I had trouble getting the hens to connect.
• What does "break a leg" mean in terms of acting? the cast is what makes a play a play.
• What applies to dry skin on a pig? Oinkment.
• What do you call a snowman having a temper tantrum? a collapse.
• My uncle gave his pets the name Timex.
• Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.
• What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me.
• Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
• My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
• What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
• Where does Batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
• What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
• What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
• What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!
• Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

• How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance.
• I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
• Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.
• What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
• Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.
• A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?"
• How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed.
• What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.
• What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.
• How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
• What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? "Dill me in!"
• How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
• How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked.