Dementia is no Laughing Matter... Or is it?
Seeing the bright side...
Welcome to my wacky world…
Dementia is a very serious illness. It's not something to be taken lightly. Being the 24/7 caregiver of someone with dementia is a tough job all the way around. But it does have it's humorous side.
I care for my mom. She is in the advanced stages of dementia and some of the things this little 86-year-old lady says are hilarious.
One afternoon she was napping when she briefly woke up and lifted her little head and shouted out in her loud and demanding voice, "Give me a beer and a cigarette." It was so out of character to hear such a thing coming from my tiny mom that I just began cracking up.
I have a bath aid come to the house three times a week to bathe my mom. This one particular morning my mom was going to get a bed bath. But she was not cooperating. She was kicking and punching the bath aid. The bath aid managed to get my mom's gown off her. That’s when my mom said in a loud gruff voice, "Give me back my dress you bi*ch." I was shocked and the bath aid just looked at me and we both started laughing.
One afternoon my mom and I were talking. She was talking about how the dogs were acting up and it was causing a lot of problems. (Just as a note we do not have any dogs). So, I asked her, "What are we going to do about the dogs?" She quite decisively said, "Kill them." I was shocked. So shocked that I couldn't do anything else but laugh.
My friend Brian came over to have lunch. My mom, Brian, and I were sitting at the table together eating pizza. I gave my mom a small slice of pizza, one that she could handle. She took a good-sized bite and began chewing. With her mouth still full my mom looked toward Brian (mind you my mom is 100% blind). Brian was not sure what to expect. Then suddenly, the unexpected happened and my mom spit her pizza out at Brian. He was mortified she spit the pizza all over his shirt.
But wait, there's more!!! I ran upstairs to the bathroom to grab a washcloth so Brian could clean his shirt. While I was up there my dentist called to let me know we had to reschedule my appointment. When I made it back down (6 - 7 minutes later) my mom was sitting with no top on letting everything hang out. All I could say was, "Brian, meet my mom the nudist."
My mom often has a hard time coming up with the right words when speaking. This makes it a challenge for me to figure out.
The following is a list of things she's asked and what she meant:
Chicken wire = Kleenex
Hot rod = Toothpick
Flag = Toilet Paper
Apron = Kleenex
Dryer = Toilet Paper
Bobby pin = Toothpick
Cigarette = Toothpick
Cereal = Toilet Paper
Riviera Material - Kleenex
Sandpaper - Kleenex
Separate Menu - Blanket
Black Rose = Kleenex
The one that had me confused the most was Black Rose. My mom said, "Rick, give me a black rose." I was stumped. Her body language wasn't giving me any clues. So, I asked her, "What are you going to do with the black rose?" She said she wanted it for her nose. That's when I knew that she was asking for a kleenex.
I thought chicken wire and sandpaper were interesting. Those are both rough materials. I can only imagine blowing my nose with either one. Wouldn't that be something if I actually did give her a piece of sandpaper.
About the Creator
Rick Henry Christopher
Writing is a distraction to fulfill my need for intellectual stimulus, emotional release, and soothing the bruises of the day.
The shattered pieces of life will not discourage me.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/vocalplusassist
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Comments (14)
Humor is pretty much the only way to get through hard times, and it cannot be easy caring for a parent with dementia. Your mom is lucky to be with family. I already have no filter, so if I get dementia, I hope my son handles it as graciously as you! I love how honestly you write.
You must be a smart man. I probably would have handed her the sandpaper, and quickly grabbed it from her when she went to wipe her nose
This is relatable in several ways! We dealt with my mom's dementia toward the end and there were a lot of things I had to laugh at, like the day we brought her a carton of cigarettes, only to be told belligerently that she didn't smoke. I can feel my own gears beginning to slip at times and Pam suffered a mild stroke a couple of years ago, which left her searching for the right words on occasion, so we spend quite a bit of time laughing at/with each other. thanks for writing about the lighter side, Rick!
My grandmother had Lewy Body Dementia. I cared for her the last three years of her life before she died at age 93 right before the pandemic struck. In order to keep my sanity, I had to find the humor in her diagnosis. She would hallucinate often. One time she said she had frogs, lizards, and bugs crawling all over her apartment. This went on for weeks. She even threw out perfectly good groceries I had just bought for her because she said the bugs had gotten into them. She once microwaved a package of peanut butter wafer cookies because she thought they were something else (something microwaveable, apparently). This act destroyed the microwave and her apartment stunk for days. My favorite, though, was when she said a circus family had moved into the apartment with her - a grandpa, mom, dad, boy, and girl. She said the children were unruly, writing all over her walls, and that she had to clean up after them all the time. One time she had a particularly nasty fall. When I asked what happened, she said the circus grandpa and a midget had jumped her. It took everything I had to keep a straight face. Those three years were a rollercoaster of emotions for both of us, and I'm sure some people thought I was being mean by finding the humor in her (our) situation, but that's just my nature - to find the funny in hard times in order to get through them.
Omggg Rick! This was freaking hilarious! I thought "Kill them" would be my favourite but on thought, it's "Give me back my dress you b*itch!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 And the pizza, lol, what was up with that? You have no idea how many times I literally Lol-ed reading this!
Bless her heart... You are handling things wonderfully!
I've always loved the outlook of Nanny Fein's grandmother on "The Nanny". Talking to the kids about growing old & loosing your memory she made a remark something along the lines of this: "Turning senile isn't so bad. No matter how many times someone tells me a joke, it's always new to me."
My sister and I had many funny moments with my mow that we all laughed about, even my mother. Have to have some levity through rough situations. Thank you for sharing.
These were hilarious kudos to you for taking such good care of your mom she’s lucky to have you.
It's so heartwarming that you're finding bits of joy in this journey. It's tough. My mother had either Lewy Body Dementia or Late Onset Schizophrenia depending on which doctor was around. Some of her highlights included: Got fat, can't stand ya. (directed at my high school sweetheart after we reconnected 20 years later) You'd find a man if you weren't so ugly...put some makeup on. You're pretty, you're just fat (both this and the previous said to nurses) Why is everyone so stupid (said to pretty much anyone)
Thank you for sharing your experiences with such light-hearted grace. It helps to remember that even in dark moments, there are patches of light and people to share it with. 💓 Wonderful piece, Rick!
Kudos to you, Rick, for finding a lighter side to what you go through taking care of your mom. Thank you for sharing this! 🥰❤️😄
Outstanding humorous story!!! Thank you for sharing the horror of dementia and it doesn't have to be horrific!!! With humor and grace, you showed and demonstrated how to take things lightly, calmly, and patiently. ❤️❤️💕
Such a fun story...You're an interpreter too? Wow, you have mad skills, Rick! Thank you for sharing the brighter side of dementia. It was entertaining.