An Alien In My Bed

I thought I was asleep...no I'm sure I am asleep! The snoring is getting louder and louder, though I'm not sleeping with anyone but myself.

I try to open my eyes, but they are shut tight.

I feel something rubbing my feet. I know that it isn't anyone else's feet. It can't be, I'm sleeping alone unless I picked some stranger up from the pub last night without remembering it!

The snoring doesn't sound human. It's way too loud and sounds like someone is rattling a cage.

Maybe that's my cage rattling, after all, I did get told by someone that my bones rattle themselves to sleep!

Nothing appears normal in my room, but I have somehow opened my eyes. I take a peek outside the window.

WTF? The sky is green and there are UFOs flying everywhere! Am I still asleep?

I look towards my bed, looking for signs of life, there is no one there.

I must be dreaming!

I shake my head and get back into bed. I'm sure that I never left it in the first place!

There it is, the annoying snoring, yet again. This time it echoes all around the room.

Something runs its hand through my hair. It feels like a duck's webbed feet...but I don't have any ducks, do I??

I freeze on my bed, like frozen meat on ice.

My heart is racing. I don't move. I try to change this stupid nightmare, but no! It's still there.

Something sits up in my bed, and I scream. I see the silhouette of somebody or something, but please tell me WTF is it?

I hear someone inside my head call my name, or was someone actually talking to me? No! That can't be possible, I'm still sleeping alone!

"Tina, Tiiiina!"

I need the toilet, but I'm frozen to the spot.

I HAVE TO GO!

Feeling like I have been on alcohol all night, I fall over my bed as I take a superhero dive to the loo.

When I come back, I turn on the light...or did I really go to the toilet? I'm sure I'm still asleep!

There is nobody or nothing except falling sheets on my bed!

I put it down to a bad dream, and curl up in my oh, so comfortable bed.

Here we go again.

First the snoring, then the calling,

"Tina, Tiiina!"

I have no idea what is going on.

Things get worse.

My sheets are floating, but nobody seems to be moving them.

Are they really floating? Am I still asleep?

There are over a million green lights shining through my window, but I have no desire to see what they are. Alas! I don't have a choice, as I am uncontrollably floating across the room like a bird!

But...I am sure that I am not a bird. The last time I checked, I had no wings!

I'm sure that a bird needs wings in order to fly!

I can't help but laugh at the commotion around me, but it is only a silent laugh because, for some reason, I can't laugh out loud!

Will someone please tell me what is going on?

Morning comes around, and I try to get up. I turn around to see a grey creature with a big head and sleeping bulging eyes, right next to me.

I scream out loud!

There is an alien in my bed!

Only, when that alien wakes up, he morphs into a man!

I know I didn't sleep with a man last night, I'm so damn sure of it!

I then wake up properly and realize I have been dreaming.

I thought I was single.

I was wrong!

The alien in my bed happens to be my husband!