You are Worthy..

The World has changed from the way I used to see it. I have changed from the way I used to see myself. See you, see me, see us. From the beginning of my memories, the little snapshots that pop in my minds eye, I see myself wondering, questioning, thinking.. I would ask and get told that my thoughts and ideas werent true that I had to think a certain way and believe a certain thing, because I was told to. that must have been hard to not have a voice. Not be able to speak what was on your mind or believe we knew was right by our intuition. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I fell to silence to avoid the confrontation, it was because I knew we would be silenced anyway. Still, I'm sorry I didn't fight for us but it wasn't your fault. You built yourself how you had to, to survive. You were strong and kept your beliefs deep, deep inside instead of abandoning them all together. Thank You for that.

We made it through childhood and the hold it has on others that I could never understand. Another snapshot, crawling on the pew. Wondering why they all spoke the same and said it was true, how did they know? Because they were told? I didn't believe it at all. There had to be something more than a million different beliefs that all thought they were the one that was true. There had to be more than separation and division. We spoke many times about non belief and were told to believe because it was true the Book said so. It was brainwashing at it's best. We made it through.

I'm proud of you for learning skills while going through all that. You did pick up Kindness, and empathy. Compassion and the ability to forgive. You still had lost your voice. How are you feeling? How are you getting through? Im sorry it took me so long to see you and want to heal. We've been buried deep so long but there is a new frequency to dawn and it's time to heal. You did nothing wrong and don't need to feel shame or regret. You did what you needed to do, for you at that time.

I see you now. Lost and alone, wondering where you have been all this time. You've grown and grown from darkness and shadow, negative beliefs and mental and emotional abuse. You've made it through Disregard of your needs, wants and hopes. You've had your peace stolen time and again and most times live in Darkness. but here we are, still here. We still got each our back. You can put the past down now. We can live in the now and just know that we are okay. We can get through anything. If I listen to your guidance and we don't abandon each other we can get through anything.

I see you there, older now. Wondering how you got here to this place in your path where you are still alone, still fighting demons that don't seem to ever go away.. It's different now though because now I am here. I am here to stand in front of you, a boundary saying, "No!" You can speak your truth now. You are worthy of an opinion, a point of view. You are worthy of respect from yourself and others. You are worthy of every desire you have ever had. We are worthy of that. I your Human and You my eternity. We are worthy of it all.

Time an illusion we don't know how to leave, the past still lingering here in our minds, don't listen. Let it float right by. Breathe. You are eternal. Nothing can hurt you. Yes you love, but to a fault. Yes you are kind, but not to yourself. Yes you are healing, and forgiving but not accepting and letting go. Breathe. Let it go. Let the Universe just flow. Breathe. You are a powerful being. Capable and intuitive. Strong and compassionate. Let it go. The past no longer exists. It is gone. It can't hurt you anymore. Why can't you let go of this one thing. Why does it have to be so hard?

Lets look inside and sit with this a minute. The energy cords have been cut time and again. The message has been received. We no longer belong here if we ever did, yet still. You continue to love, to hurt, to disrespect yourself by letting others disrespect you. They don't get to decide what disrespect looks like to you. They don't get to decide. It's not their life to live. It's your life and only you can decide what disrespect looks like to you. My perception isn't other perception and it isn't my place to make them understand my perception. They have a right to their own. I respect enough to give that, or atleast I'm working on it.

We gave to a fault our love. We gave, and gave, with nothing in return but abandonment, hurt, pain, and an empty hole center of our chest. We lived in darkenss for so many months, remembering nothing but that shell that lay curled up on the bed, empty, alone and hurting. We made it through. We are here now stronger than ever, yet going through it again. What lesson haven't we learned yet. Oh yes, to respect ourselves and just let go.

Maybe that love that we gave so freely still won't be wasted. Like seeds scattered in the wind on a fresh new spring day. Maybe it was noticed by the sun, the breeze and it carried that seed along it's way. The soil as it gathered the seed to it's depths and let it anchor and nestle in it's warmth. Someday to come out in the light and make someone smile. For us now though, the time in this dimension has passed and past doesn't exist anymore. Put it down it's heavy. Lessen the load. Take a break. It isn't meant for you to try to fix something that doesn't exist enymore and probably never did. You can't make another love you. You can't make another be what you want them to be simply by wishing it is so. Put it down. Breathe.

We are here in this moment and we need to listen to the guidance of our innerbeing. That's you. I'm just the human. Stuck in a form that is ruled by something created to protect me so it lies. You are the truth and the way. The inner voice of reason that never leaves my side although I have abandoned you many times, I'm afraid. I've blatantly rejected you knowing I would regret that decision, but unable to hurt others or make them uncomfortable in any way. Trauma responses. We knew no other way, put it down and quit carrying it. Today is a new day. I'm trying to work on listening and trusting in what you say. I'm trying to protect you now so just nudge me when the responses get to bad. I'll try to tone it down. We are safe. We are love and light and we are doing great. We are Healthy, wealthy and healing.

Let it go. The love you are pouring into a dream. The time and attention wasted on someone who doesn't even see it or care to try. The damage to ourself for keeping this hurting us for so long. Let it go. Put it down. It is time. We are worthy of being whole. We are worthy of happiness and peace. We are worthy of companionship and love. We accept ourselves as whole, beautiful being that are intelligent and kind. We accept that we are healing from things done to us we maybe couldn't control but we are healing them so we are better than we were yesterday. So that we can rise above the pain and ache and smile through the tears knowing we did our best. We examined our worst and are now working to be better as we know we can be, but we need to let the past go. It is hurting us to bad.

I don't know all the traumas we need to heal. I don't know who he is to us. I don't know if we are losing love in this lifetime by not being with him but I do know that we cannot continue to live like this. I am worthy of more. We are worthy of everything we desire.

It's time. It's time to let the past go, knowing we did our absolute best we could do at the time. It's time to focus on the now. The moment we have right now. The blessing we have of being here right now, to feel, to see, to taste, to wonder, learn, and grow. It's time to be grateful that the Universe has us and we don't have to worry about anything because we control nothing. The entire reality just a game really as we all experience our own realities simultaneously. Nobody wrong, nobody wrong, everyone just unique and individual yet one together. Once you see you cannot unsee.

Now everything around us just an illusion of what we want it to be. Don't pay attention to the outside world the make believe. Focus on our reality. The empire we are creating and healing and growth we are doing for us. Breathe, surrender and the rest will flow around us, happening as it should.

Let go. Breathe. You love. It's a fault but it is you. You love. So wish him well, wish him healing and move past the feeling knowing that you did your best and gave your all and if he couldn't ever see you he never will. Go on anyway. Keep walking on your path seeking guidance and love from those that do see you and want the best for you. They will come. They will help guide you and teach you and protect you. They will come. Just surrender to the Universe and be grateful and recieve it's bounty as it returns to you exactly what you have been creating.

Let's imagine a world where we are rising, we are healing and moving forward. Imagine a world of abundance, respect, loyalty and love. Imagine and focus on a life of abundance and hope and peace. Where acceptance for all reigns. No judegement for anyone. Acceptance for all. No attachment just observation, acceptance and love. These are our goals and others don't have the right to take that from me/us. Innerself, I'm sorry for getting such a late start but stay with me here in the present and everyday I'll try and get better and believeing, trusting, and surrendering to the flow.

We are one. We are safe. We are free. Everything is already exactly as it should be. What others do and say is not our problem. How others feel isn't our problem. Our job is to learn to control our own thoughts, and actions because that's all we can control. Breathe. Let it in and release the negative beliefs of old. Breathe in the knowledge that you create exactly what you want. So create us something great. We deserve it.