Why?

Why? It is a question we ask ourselves almost daily. If not multiple times a day. We the ones who have been cast to the side ask it to ourselves almost as if on repeat. Never really getting an answer to what we do so need to get answered. So we can feel normal again. No, we are left to try and answer this why question on our own.

Why were we not good enough? Is it because we are not pretty enough, smart enough. Did we not do enough to show we cared about the other person. Is there a defect about us that we can not see for ourselves? We search for this answer in everything we do and in everyone we meet from that point on. And no one and nothing will give you the answer you want except for the person who caused the feeling in the first place.

But you and I both know that the person who needs to answer this for us will never tell us the truth. They if we even get a response to our question will give us an answer that is more hurtful than the feeling of not being good enough already was. So even though we think we need to hear from them we really in reality you do not need to hear anything from them anymore.

They have already done enough damage to our mental well being. And we do not need to allow them access to hurt us anymore. No, we need to be able to know that there is nothing wrong with us, that we are ok and we are worthy of being treated like a human. That no one has the right to treat you like you are nothing, that you are trash or that you are unimportant. No one has the right to do that to another person.

But even though no one has that right they still do make others feel bad. To feel like you are not good enough is life-altering. You start to believe it...to believe you are worthless and then you want to stop living. You stop believing real love from friends, family, lovers are really out there, and if it is you do not deserve it. You start to second guess yourself in everything you do and you start to doubt the words other people give you as praise. Or you doubt their motives behind giving you the praise.

Because we were made to believe we were not worthy of getting any praise of any kind. That our very own life means less than the next person. That we are just disposable. But we are not disposable, we are not pieces of trash to be thrown out. We are worthy of being treated with the basic human decency society requires of normally sane people.

We are humans who made the choice to care about someone other than ourselves. To try and be what we would want someone to be to us. And we made the mistake of thinking the person we cared about was decent. That was our only mistake. We extended our hearts to a person or to people who did not deserve to know us like that.

So we have to stop looking for the answer to why. And realize we do not need to know this answer. All we need to know is we are worthy of better that we deserve better. And that we have to find our worth within ourselves because no one can do a better job than we can of showing ourselves what we are worth.