Why Do You Outgrow Some Relationships?

It isn’t easy to let go of a relationship.

When you’ve known each other for a long period of time, the other person has become so much a part of your life that you feel like losing a part of yourself when the time comes to say goodbye.

But not every relationship lasts. Things change. Unforeseen events happen. Life moves on in such a way that pulls you into a new direction, that culminating point when you can’t stay anymore with the very people you cherished the most.

When these things happen, we can’t help but wonder, “Why do we outgrow some relationships?”

Could it be that a friend or a special someone found a fault in us they never saw before? Could it be that we were the ones who changed and we could no longer be the same?

Signs when you outgrow a relationship:

1. You no longer spend as much time together

You notice that you begin to spend less and less time with each other. And this is not just because both of you are busy with work or studies. You spend less time even when you know that both of you have some free time to spare.

2. You have fewer things to talk about

When you do find the time to spend together, you notice that you have fewer things to talk about. Silent gaps between conversations become longer. You also often engage in small talk instead of talking about the things that really interest you and make you come alive.

3. You can’t share some of the things that matter most to yourself

One reason you may not talk so much could be that you just couldn’t share what matters most to you anymore. Perhaps you tried to do this on some occasions, but it felt forced or unsuccessful. After trying to engage the other person in a certain topic, he or she may have moved on quickly to something else.

4. You feel pulled into fulfilling a new direction in life

While you may have no concrete plans yet, you feel that you are being pulled into a new direction in life. A new dream could be forming within you. Or you want to develop into a new person, the kind of person that could help you live a happier and more fulfilling life.

What to do when you outgrow a relationship

You could be feeling a lot of guilt about it, but you may feel your relationship with this person is already starting to fade away.

Here are some things you can do when you feel you’ve already outgrown a relationship:

1. Let the two of you naturally part ways

Sooner or later, the two of you are going to go your separate ways. Accept this natural phase in your relationship. Let the other person also discover new things that would make his or her life more fulfilling.

2. Cherish the bonds of the past

Moving on doesn’t mean you need to forget. You can still get together again and recall priceless memories that have brought the two of you together. At one point in your journey, you have touched and changed each other’s life. And this is something always worth keeping.

3. Don’t be bound by your previous stage in life

As much as it may hurt, you shouldn’t be bound by the past so that you can welcome a new future full of wonderful possibilities. You can still grow, meet new people, find new interests and be propelled into fulfilling dreams you never even thought you’d have.

Final words

We outgrow some relationships for the simple reason that we continue to change. This doesn’t mean we should already forget the past. But we shouldn’t disregard the future either.

This should also teach us how valuable growth is in a relationship. When a person really matters to you, you need to make an effort to be engaged in each other’s lives. Grow together. Don’t let the relationship fade little by little until it totally dies.

“Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.” — Scandinavian Mythology

You may also want to see Jocelyn's book:

Mend My Broken Heart

Get the book from Amazon today — click here

Get it as a PDF file from Gumroad — click here

Find it on other digital stores — click here

“No matter how much we want to, there is no magic formula in healing a broken heart. There is no time-frame also. What we need is to know that our suffering is not meaningless, that the love we have given was never wasted, and that somewhere beyond all our pain, there is hope, hope that could help us endure the hurt we’re going through.”

Get the book from Amazon today — click here