Whether in the workplace or in a relationship, "deadbeat" is a sign of low emotional intelligence and inefficiency

In life, there are always more dreams that cannot be realized than those that have been realized, so cherish every minute and every second. Everyone has a goal to strive for, and there are expectations and new beginnings everywhere in life. Even for those who are not doing well in life, there is always something they want to do.

In terms of the logic of "infinite psychological motivation", the bigger the heart, the bigger the dream, and the higher the goal in life, the better. But in terms of the logic of life's realities, the prerequisites for high goals are strong confidence, strength, and legitimacy. When these three things are in place, it is only a matter of time before you reach your goals.

I'd like to tell you a true story that comes from a workplace experience. It has to do with goals in life, but also with attitude to life.

There was only one position in an organisedrecruit organization looking for a recruit but there were many applicants.

I was told that the unit was very good, with good benefits. You can go to work late and leave early, and when there is nothing to do, you can skip work. According to some people's statistics, people in that unit work less than 3 hours a day, and if you count the hours, you can work less than 3 months a year, and there are frequent trips and reunions.

The so-called work is a title to play with, but the treatment is not a single point. If you can get into that unit, it is equivalent to having a golden rice bowl for life.

Because the unit is understaffed, it needs to "recruit" and openly recruit the best talent. The requirements were a good image, high moral character, sociability, knowledge, and under 30 years of age.

When the news came out, many people wanted to join the family. Since they want to be accepted, they can't do it without real skills.

Candidates not only had to go all the way through and get high marks on the written test but also had to work hard in the interview and behave in a manner that was not ambiguous.

Hundreds of people are competing for one position, and the intensity is understandable and emotionally damaging. The odds are too low that only 1 person will be selected after a round of elimination!

Zhang San graduated 4 years ago and is working an ordinary job. All the free time in his life is squeezed out for studying, and he is so busy every year with big and small exams that he can't even squeeze in time to find a date. He was so obsessed with "achieving success" that he neglected his girlfriend, who turned around and married someone else in the fifth year of his relationship.

Zhang San had "sworn" that he would not get married until he had achieved his examinations, but no one could persuade him to do so.

There is nothing wrong with pursuing higher goals in life, and Zhang San has joined the ranks of those bidding for the unit. For him, this unit is his dream paradise, even the most tiring work, put into the real workplace in contrast, it is a fat job in the fat job. If he got in, he would have no worries for the rest of his life.

Zhang San is a good examiner, he always passes every exam and has a lot of certificates in his hands. With his excellent basic skills, he got the ticket for the interview and was first in the written test.

On the day of the interview, there were 17 people lined up, and even though everyone was a top performer, Zhang San was still confident and felt that he had done well. Most importantly, he thought that all the competitors did not look as good as he did on the outside. If nothing else, he could win the job and immediately soar to greatness.

But on the day the results were announced, Zhang San was dumbfounded when the "accident" struck again. It was like a magic spell in life, he had to pass every test and lose every interview.

He was not accepted and narrowly missed out, coming in second. If two people were recruited, Zhang San was bound to get a place, but they only recruited one.

The last person to be accepted was a fat girl from a good family who drove a luxury car to the interview. Her mannerisms were not very pleasant, and she was on the phone in the corridor, cursing with her boyfriend, and was so grumpy that she almost got into a fight with the others.

Perhaps in the eyes of the interviewers, there was no way this girl would be accepted. But the truth is that it was precisely this fat girl who was accepted.

Of course, Zhang San was not convinced that such a candidate, who did not quite meet the criteria of "good image", "high moral character" and "sociable", had replaced himself!

Who is she and what are her qualifications?

Zhang San said, "I came 1st in the written test and 2nd in the interview, and was eliminated from the interview. In the past 4 years since I graduated, I have taken many big and small exams, and I was almost always at the top of the written test. If I had only taken the written test, I would have been accepted every time, but my interview results were always on the upper edge of elimination. When the unit asked for two people, I was 3rd in the interview, and when it asked for four people, I was 5th. The most unconvincing time, the year before a unit to 7 people, my written test is the 1st, the interview is the 8th, and then a little forward to be selected ......"

Zhang San is a distant cousin of one of my colleague's sisters, and as we chatted over lunch, she talked about her less familiar cousin.

The sister commented, "I heard that my cousin, who is not even close to me, has a high IQ, but a low EQ. He has never experienced the toxic beatings of the workplace and doesn't understand anything. He can't even see the obvious and has to challenge the impossible, which is a futile way to try. Every time it feels like he's just a little bit short, and if he continues to fight to the death, the delay is a big marriage, but he just can't figure it out ......"

This is a very honest comment, and what life sees is sometimes like this. Some things may seem unexpected, but they make sense.

In some specific workplaces, so-called strength doesn't mean anything at all, strength is not a scarce thing. It's not strength that people want, it's connections.

Many things that develop logically on the surface may not necessarily meet the factual requirements on the back.

As the saying goes, one carrot for every hole, and this is of course always true. Anyone with the ability can grab that pit, and everyone can go for it.

The question is, does the carrot or the pit come first?

Once this question is clarified, it is also straightforward. If the turnip comes first, even if all the people who come after are ginseng, there is no chance of grabbing that pit.

To put it bluntly, the turnip has been ready for a long time, it just lacks a proper pit for the time being. The efforts of the others were of course futile, and it is to be blamed for not seeing the logic, for thinking it was easy, for thinking it was possible by strength.

The beautiful vision is this, with strength you can succeed. But in reality, it often doesn't work that way, and success requires finding the right direction.

There is an obvious truth here, the fact that the unit has not recruited new people for 5 years and the pay is so good means that the unit is easy to work in. Suddenly 1 more position comes up, which of course is quite attractive. It seems that everyone has a chance, but the end is not biased, it is already fixed, and it is not possible to fall to other people.

The post has already been filled and the process of getting through is just a process of gilding the lily and adding color to that person. Apart from the person who is accepted, all the other people who are running with him or her are all accompaniments.

The result is that many people who have worked hard for a job end up playing the role of a greenhorn for someone else.

To put it more bluntly, some people are rewarded for being green, just for the sake of the numbers and for the sake of going through the motions. Some people, like Zhang San, are unaware of the fact that they are somehow accompanying someone else in a game, carrying a palanquin for someone else.

This kind of thing is quite common in life and work, see more and get used to it, just laugh it off. A person who experiences life and the workplace after the poisonous beating will gradually mature, the mentality will be tougher.

Emotionally speaking, a person is not afraid of failure but afraid of losing. Zhang San has been defeated every time, so he always has the motivation to fight for it again and again. But in reality, this is not a defeat, it is a doomed defeat.

Normally, the spirit of perseverance is a kind of foolishness and perseverance, which is worthy of praise. For example, you cannot say that this kind of effort is wrong.

But from the perspective of working life, it is also a low-intelligence way to work hard and is extremely inefficient. Unless one can fight to the end without regret, it is much better to put the cost of time into a career with a high probability of success than to waste effort.

In terms of life's struggles, the effort is not just about burying your head in the sand, but about having a high degree of certainty about your goals in the first place. The obvious truths have to be seen ahead of time, and the impossible should not be touched, or else you become a sidekick.

Many truths in life are so straightforward that many people lose their minds a few times before they realize that they have chosen the wrong direction for their previous efforts.

Of course, they should know this truth in their hearts, but just not convinced. They just don't want to be convinced. They've lost every time, so of course, they want to try their luck.

If you have the perseverance and are prepared to fail again and again, then, of course, you can. But in terms of probability, most people who make it to the end will regret it.

"hard work" is only a kind of dedication and focus, but "hard work" without direction will reduce the efficiency of work. Life is the best truth, not only in the workplace but also in marriage and relationships. Some seemingly euphemistic rejections are doomed to be impossible.

If you try to work on it from a different angle, there is a different perspective. By adapting to life with a better mindset, you will have the ability to turn the impossible into the possible in the future. It is the struggle, and the struggle starts with the direction.