What is love?

Honestly I kind of think asking what love is, is a really loaded question. It’s an unquantifiable emotion felt everywhere, everyday. Someone once told me that where there is life, there is love. I think the best place to start is by acknowledging that love is so much more than just romance. Love is found through our family, friends, pets, and even through our passions. We have all experienced at least one kind of love in our lives. To think otherwise is naive. Through loving we are able to find happiness, bliss, and a sense of purpose.

I believe love can be seen, and felt through tiny moments; simple words, and that love has us surrounded. Even when we don’t realise it, love itself only brings us something to gain, opposed to nothing at all. We are able to find peace and sympathy for one another through the simplest of moments…. It may even sound like this—

Stay hydrated today okay?

Don’t forget your seatbelt.

I know you’re not feeling well so I made you some soup.

Don’t forget your vitamins/medications.

When I did laundry today I left your favourite comfy clothes on the bed. I know it was a long day at work today.

I promise you’re going to be okay, things are hard right now, but I won’t let you go through it alone.

Bundle up, it’s cold outside

I made you a birthday cake!

There are infinite ways to say I love you to someone, and as you can see it isn’t about romance; rather it’s about genuine compassion and care for someone other than themselves. We show our love on the daily, even when we aren’t thinking about it. We offer up our love in so many alternative ways to actually state ‘I love you’.

We are only ever in a position to gain by loving another person. From a romantic point of view love can mean a broken heart, yes, but since there are so many other types of love, even when we do get hurt we actually end up gaining. This is found through what we do after being hurt. One easy step to take is to fall in love with your passions, or learn to love new ones. We are able to focus on the love we receive and give in other relationships in our lives. Even when love hurts; it always gives back and leaves you with other opportunities to expand your love quota. I promise you that you will only ever gain from loving, even if you don’t think so in the moment.

For me there are 3 types of love primarily. First is familial/friendships, which is the love shared between parent and child, best friends, familial relatives, This is the love I guarantee we have all experienced. It may not look the same for everyone, but the family we have is the family we were destined to have; which means that no matter if you are blood related or not, someone showed us this type of love at one point or another. Secondly, romantic love. Yes the ooey-gooey love we see plastered on our screens, and in movies or TV. This is the kind of love that feels beyond vulnerable, mostly because love is vulnerability. It’s choosing to trust someone with a key to your heart, and being willing to do it again if the first person broke your heart. From a romantic standpoint; love can mean someone giving you a piece of your soul that you had no idea was even missing. Romantic love can be seen in so many different ways. It's a vulnerable and very raw experience, but you stand to gain a whole lot through loving someone that way. In fact it could bring more and more love into your life, through their family and friends who you have the opportunity to meet and develop relationships with. The third is the materialistic/itemised type of love. This being the kind of love we give to our passions, for example the way a ballerina loves dance. This love covers basically every other love besides the first two; romantic and familial. I think this is a pretty safe type of love. What I mean by that is loving our passions, our favourite blanket or piece of jewellery, that waterfall we love for its serenity…. Nine times out of ten this type of love won’t cause us pain, rather it gives us motivation. Sometimes we find other types of love through this love because of a common ground between people who share their love for a particular hobby or anything else.

I personally have experienced love, in so many parts of my life. I have my own itemised love, I love my passion (writing) through and through, I’ve been loved, romantically and otherwise through friends and family. I have loved others, and yes I’ve been hurt. Yes it hasn’t always been easy, and yeah I struggle with the vulnerability necessary for some types of love; but at the end of the day to me love will always be worth the risk. In my experience the benefits far outweigh the risks, love brings with it warmth, kindness, compassion, and thoughtfulness. I know it can be daunting and scary and feels impossible at times, but every kind of love is worth it. I know it's worth it.

I think at the end of the day love is found in plenty of subtleties. It’s once we are able to see that, that we are able to experience the liberation which it brings with it to the party. We need to be able to fully see and appreciate love for what it is before we can experience the joys and all of its benefits. Most importantly we have to be willing to take the risks. We live in a very harsh world, and we all know it. Especially since the global COVID pandemic, which really highlighted a lack of love in this world. The most important sentence in this article is this— Love equates love, the same way that hatred equates hatred. If we want to be loved, to find the bliss that comes with it, we must be able to give love back in this world. We need to be willing to love hard especially if we hope to see a brighter world for the next generation. That starts with us as individuals, so I encourage you to take a moment after reading this and ask yourself two things…

Firstly, how do you think your love can be given to others, and what differences do you believe you can make by sharing your love?

Secondly, what kinds of love have you experienced? What are some parts of those that you feel are worth being brought into your next steps? What would you do differently and/or the same next time?

As I said there is so much to gain through loving. Equally there is so much to be given back into this lifetime. Be aware of that, trust your gut and love always.