What comes after death?

What comes after death?

I'm 26 years old, and today I found myself next to a deceased person for the first time, sadly it was my mom's husband who passed away. Suddenly, unexpectedly...

On Friday, my mom and I were talking about business, opening a store, and on Saturday morning, she called me in tears... There was a strange premonition, usually I sleep until lunch since I work at night, but this time, even though I went to bed as usual in the early morning, I couldn't sleep, and I woke up at 10 in the morning, just a couple of minutes before the call...

"My mom was breathing heavily, crying..."

"What happened?" I asked, still groggy, going through everything that could have happened overnight...

"Vova died!" she replied, sobbing even harder.

Confused, I asked which Vova? After all, my grandfather's name is also Vladimir (Vova). When I heard the answer, I was stunned for a moment!

"What? How? What happened?"

As it turned out, her husband died from heart atack, his heart stopped while he was standing at a bus stop, getting to work... It's unclear whether anyone attempted to administer first aid, how long the ambulance took to arrive? Questions wich answers wont make any difference now...

Vladimir, Vova, Volodya... I always called him strictly by his name, Vladimir, to avoid confusing him with my grandfather, Vova! By the way, I'm also Vladimir, but in my case, it's my middle name.

He was such a typical Russian guy, around 50 years old, born in the GDR, served in the navy, always with a short haircut and a clean-shaven chin... tall, we were almost the same height, 1.85m, but slim... he smoked a lot, a lot! He could easily smoke 2 packs a day, probably even more while driving! We often smoked together on the balcony, chatting during smoke breaks on various topics, cigarette after cigarette.

And today I would probably have smoked with him, even though I quit smoking 3 months ago!

I feel sorry for my mom the most, nothing worries me as much as her tears! It's still much more painful for those who are left behind... the one who died no longer feels anything, just a moment of pain and darkness! But what about those who remain? They feel the pain multiplied! Every memory, every item, everything that reminds you wounds you again and again, an open wound that is being rubbed with salt!

Although he had been in our family not so long, he was accepted as a close one because we could see that they sincerely loved each other, cherished each other, and she was happy again! I felt more at ease when he was with her, knowing that there was another man in the family, another pillar for my mom... But fate decided otherwise.

They met two years ago, and they got married in November of last year. Unfortunately, I couldn't attend their wedding because I was on a business trip to Brazil... Two years, it's such a short time!

The last time I saw him was in July when we gathered at my place for a housewarming party. The whole family was there, me with my loved one, Vladimir with my mom, my sisters, Aunt Kristina with her husband Zakhar and their daughter Iva, and Grandpa Vova. We had a great time, as always when our family gets together, we drank a little Tsarskaya vodka as usual, took photos, and went our separate ways... today I was looking through the photos, Vladimir took them, all the photos of that day, our whole family in the pictures, but today I noticed that Vladimir himself is not in the photos, and no one remembered to make a photo with him, it's sad...

At first, I mentioned that I saw a dead person for the first time, not that I hadn't experienced anyone's death before, it's just that I always kept my distance from postmortem events, cemeteries, and so on. I am irreligious, so I didn't go to church because, to me, it's hypocrisy to enter a church without believing... No, it's not that I don't believe in anything, I'm more of an agnostic, I believe in a higher power but don't want to adhere to any particular religion! Every time someone died, I simply distanced myself from it all, and most likely it would have been the same this time, but for the sake of my mom, for support, I was with them at the crematorium today... It's a strange feeling to see a person as if asleep and realize that they will never wake up again, to see Vladimir's mother crying for him, it's such a grief for parents to bury their children!

And what comes after death, it's a cliché question, everyone has their own answer...

And I'll say something probably cliché as well... I hope Vladimir, you are in paradise, in a better world, experiencing the best moments of your life again and again, smiling and watching over us!

I held back the tears earlier today, but now they're flowing like a river!

Rest in peace!

By: Djimily Vladimir Dantas Ferreira, 06 September 2023, Moscow.