To The First Girl I Ever Loved.

I still remember the first day I saw her, the most beautiful girl as far as my 10 year old mind was concerned. Amina was beautiful in more than one way. She had a goofy-ish pretty smile, the kind you can only find in an innocent Fulani girl’s face. I still remember that one of her frontal tooth was chipped at the edge and yet she never forgot to wear a smile. She was introduced in my class as Amina, a recent convert who was living with a family close to the school. When she smiled at the class, my heart skipped two beats. This was strange to me, you have to understand, and I had never had a crush in my entire ten year existence! Plus, I was just a goofy kid who was sometimes called pastor by my peers. My idiosyncrasies had absolutely no business with these kind of feelings, or so I thought.

The next couple of days were going to be a hell of an emotional roller-coaster for me. Hah, you’d understand it if you saw Amina in my eyes. She has these kind of eyes that looked at you kindly, they were decorated at the edges with a dark beautiful lining, her pupils looked like shiny golden dart boards that pierced your soul if you stare too much. I was always avoiding her eyes to keep the butterflies from fluttering. It was a major problem because I used to be able to concentrate in class but now I could not. Her skin was as smooth as a baby’s and I will never forget how hard her hands were, yes, we shook hands once and boy, that girl’s hands was hard as stone, lol, you thought I was going to say soft right? You should understand that then, I was infatuated and didn’t care. Amina’s laughter was what made me like her even more – she had this derisive laugh that made even her enemies cower. I loved it!

Amina came to 1st Ecwa Nursery and Primary School when we were in Primary Three (or four, this thing is kind of blurry for me, una no go vex). She had a hand-woven bag that she hung at every opportunity. Her guardians were rich and had a poultry. That was a big deal then, believe me. I remember how she will miss school some days because she had work to do in the chicken house and I will miss her so badly. She wasn’t an exceptionally bright student but when Amina recited a memory verse in the class then, everybody was in awe. The words just effortlessly rolled out her tongue to her lips and hit our ears with such speed that even I who had great listening skills missed most of the words. Amina was my first contact with real sarcasm. She will tease you so much you’d cry if you didn’t have the stomach for dark humor. And some people cried. I remember wanting to be a member of her church (Praise Baptist) so I could see her on Sunday clothes and learn how she could spill her memory verses so fast.

Now you need to understand that I and Amina became friends shortly after she joined my class and even though I didn’t say anything, I sensed that she like me too. I was not the kind of boy that did all these “I like this girl” thing, I was famous for clashing with the opposite gender, I kept to my books mostly and didn’t talk much but I had also been punished occasionally for fighting, the fight I remember was with Blessing, a classmate of mine. Lol, my teacher flogged me on my head, most horrible day ever. Amina laughed so hard she almost passed out. So you see, this weirdness started years ago and so far, I have evolved into a fierce Casanova (I’ve repented oh!). Back to Amina, I told you guys Amina had feels and I know you guys probably thought “see mumu.” Well jokes on you. We were in primary 5 and everyone had gone home except a couple of us, including me and Amina. I was trying to fix my Uniform properly cus I took them off to play football and she noticed me struggling with the shirt, she quickly came and helped me in, held my hands and asked me why I didn’t call her to help me in. she then added “don’t you know you are my husband?” Damn! If not for the gallons of melanin God blessed me with, I’d have turned pink on the spot. My smiles for the next few days came with a glow. You know what I’m talking about now.

It was a weird love story honestly, we were so young. I never stepped foot in their house, I remember using the road her house was on, to school. I would bend down on the road to look beneath their curtains so that I’d see her legs moving around the house. All that stopped soon when she found out where I lived. She will take detours from errands to my house and we’d play together before she left for home. I still remember the first day I saw her outside my house. I was so shocked that I ran into my room, not believing my eyes! She didn’t leave. She stayed there and started talking to my sisters. I was so scared!

“Elisha, someone is looking for you outside ” My sister came into my room to tell me.

“Who’s it?” I was hoping she’d call someone else’s name.

“It’s Amina, She said you’re crazy, why are you running ?’”

“Tell her I’m coming” I sheepishly said. I came out and met her and immediately she saw me she started laughing. I was so ashamed, you could see the shame on my like wrinkles on an old woman’s face. We talked and proceeded to play dara, a local game played with holes on the ground and pebbles. I became more comfortable with her visits and I fell, well deeper, as time went on. She’d give me food some times and she was never shy to ask me for money when she saw me with cash! I always felt ashamed that I had so little, she didn’t mind.

A year later, I was in front of Ecwa Secondary School trying to finish my registration into Jss 1 when Amina entered the school premises, alone. We had been out of contact after we left Primary school since she had to leave for Katsina, her hometown. Well, I was really excited to see her, she was there to get the form so that meant I’d resume classes before her. We talked about stuff and did some catching up before I left.

You will be smart to figure out that we rekindled the old flames in secondary school. It was much really, I just remember being the only person she knew when she finally resumed and we talked a lot and walked together, sat together, etc. I still remember how busty she started becoming and how uncomfortable I felt in class when she’d come over and lean to whisper something in my ears. Gosh! Even the memory of that makes me feel lightheaded now. She noticed it and sometimes teased me about it with her infamous laughter. Her sarcasm soared as puberty progressed. She was the Queen of my heart.

Amina later made friends, a lot of them, just like me and we talked less often than we used to. I still had a soft spot for her and when she was not with her girlfriends, we hung. I never ever asked her out, Amina. Somehow, our innocence was the major blockade and when we got to JSS2 I knew I had to say/do something.

I remember vividly how I wanted the holidays to end so we’d meet again. School resumed and I got the news from David, an old classmate that Amina was sick. Very sick. She was having attacks after she came back from her hometown where she spent the holidays. Something about epilepsy. It’s all getting blurry for me. I missed her. I prayed she came back soon, classes were getting serious.

It was probably a Monday Morning when I came to school that I heard we had a test. Agric Science. I hated Agric Science. While I was hopelessly trying to cram some stuff in my stiff head I heard the news. Amina was dead. She passed on over the weekend. My hands are shaky as I type this right now. Reliving that nightmare is a bit too much for me. I could not believe my ears. WHAT???

Everything was blurry after that. I couldn’t even cry. I kept running into her friends who cried their eyes out. I honestly cannot remember much after that. There probably was a memorial, a 1minute silence on assembly maybe, but I tremble every time I remember her. She was so young. She was and is the first girl I fell in love with. I never got to tell her. I never got to know. She was gone. Just like that. But I assure you that whoever says true love never dies didn’t lie. No he didn’t.