Things You Can Do to Cope with Dating Anxiety

The process of dating can be quite stressful. Well, for a good reason.

Let’s say that it’s been a while since you’ve last dated. You were left with a broken heart by someone you thought was going to be your life partner. Now that you’re all healed up, starting a new life doesn't sound half as bad

Then you realize the bitter truth of modern dating: it's wack.

This girl you met at a café is ticking off her list of red flags during your date (who does that in real life!?). Then there’s one who bluntly tells you that they’re only looking for someone to sleep with. And nowadays you find yourself being ghosted by the women you thought were a good match.

It’s an absolute mess and you’re left to deal with the aftermath in utter confusion. It’s like you have all these different tabs that won’t let you exit with pop-ups everywhere and where is that music coming from?

Then when you finally meet someone who gives you butterflies, you think to yourself, Is this love?

No, it’s not. That’s dating anxiety.

Dating anxiety is like a drug that does wonders to your brain, such as lying about the car you drive or self-sabotaging your potential relationships.

Anxiety isn’t exactly bad. In fact, it’s normal. But more often than not, anxiety drives you to make the most unwise decisions.

It’s hard to tell when you’d be able to break free from it. It’s possible to rid yourself of dating anxiety, but only time will tell when that will happen.

So how exactly do you work on managing your anxiety? Here are a few ways you can start:

When You Start to Overthink, Distract Yourself

How Anxiety and Overthinking work is like two Canadians apologizing to each other. The cycle never ends. When you have anxiety, you tend to overthink. When you overthink, you grow more anxious.

It’s high time that you end the cycle. Turn off the washing machine and leave your used-to-be dirty laundry to air out in the open. If you feel like your mind is going in a pessimistic direction, distract yourself. Try to stop yourself from thinking about it as organically as possible.

Yes, it hurts to have this heavy weight on your chest and these mosquitoes plaguing your mind. But will anything productive come out of thinking too much? The best you can get is a migraine.

Don’t Set Any Expectations

The higher your expectations, the bigger your disappointment. But if you don’t expect anything at all, whether good or bad, you’re less likely to feel discouraged.

Setting up expectations throughout the course of your date can also lead you to make unfair assumptions. Because you're still trying to form an image of them in your head, you try to guess what they're like based simply on the side you see.

So when you are on a date, avoid sizing up your date. Look at them with a clean slate. If your date goes well, you can start to piece out bits and pieces about them. From there, you will be able to make a better judgment.

Thinking Out Loud Can Also Help

This might sound like something an insane person would do, but it works.

When you aren’t at your best on a date, you tend to overthink. You assume the most terrible scenarios and scare yourself. But when you say it out loud, you realize how ridiculous it sounds. It’s a good slap to reality.

Excuse yourself to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. Just make sure it’s a single bathroom otherwise you’d earn some concerned looks. Tell yourself what’s been bothering you. Feels good to let it out, doesn’t it?

You’ll feel much better when you face yourself — literally.

Don’t Try Too Hard to Impress

It is perfectly normal to feel nervous around your date because you want to impress them. However, you may feel pressured to appear perfect to win them over.

To you, they are these perfect beings on a pedestal you have put them in. Even if it’s out of your character, you try to keep up with that.

Word of advice: don’t.

Your date is most likely going to fall for the fake image of yourself. This will only bite you back when you realize you aren’t happy with the relationship anymore.

Be Honest with Yourself

You can’t please everybody. There’s always going to be that one person that can’t stand the sight of you, and that’s okay. You have great things ahead of you and a pebble isn’t going to stop you from your journey.

So if your date doesn’t like you, then maybe it’s for the better. On the bright side, you got rid of a bad apple. At the very least, you don’t invest your time in the wrong person.

However, if you want to attract honest people, you must also be honest with yourself. Don’t burden yourself with the expectations people have of you. If they don’t like what they see, they can run along — simple as that.

Know What You’re Getting Into

One of the causes of anxiety is the fear of the unknown. Break the reverie and do your research before going out on a date. Better yet, gather some opinions and figure out where you stand.

It pays to be aware of what you’re signing up for. This way, you don’t end up regretting your decisions. When it comes to dating, there can be some dire consequences. If that isn’t for you, it's best to reconsider.

Getting Back into Dating With The Right Foot

The ins and outs of dating are ever-changing. But you don’t have to bother yourself with all that. You’ll only overthink yourself to the point of a brain fart.

Spare yourself the headache and relax. Your anxiety won’t probably go away in a snap, but it sure does help from making it worse. The better you get at dealing with dating anxiety, the clearer for you to make wise dating decisions.

Best of Luck!