Humans logo

The Way We Were

Realizing I found my Mr. Big

By Melissa LenoxPublished about a year ago 5 min read
The Way We Were
Photo by Oliver Frsh on Unsplash

I’m currently watching Sex and the City for the third time. It’s my favorite show. I’ve come to realize I relate to the characters on a new level each time I watch it. I think we all have a bit of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda in all of us.

It might sound cliche, but this time around, I’m discovering I’m more like Carrie. I’m in a place where I’ve been with enough men, but I still go back to that one guy…Mr. Big.

If you’ve been reading my stories, you’ll remember that I had an affair with a married man. It was my first time. He promised me everything. Then, he never left his wife.

I moved on(physically). I still loved that man and I knew I always would. We’d somehow always find our way back to each other. Whether at a job, on the street, or on purpose.

One Saturday just as Spring was starting to arrive in the city, my Mr. Big texted me asking if I wanted to grab a drink. I never said no to a free cocktail, so I said yes.

I had been out already. But not appropriately dressed for drinks. I knew it didn’t matter what I looked like. But I always looked good for him. So I ran into H&M and bought an outfit.

I went with a slightly sexy corset top with wide pants. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough makeup on, but at least my hair was done.

We met at a cute little bar near Times Square. I arrived first as he was always a little late. I hadn’t seen him in a while. I was nervous. Butterflies were flitting around in my stomach. I didn’t know why.

I saw him coming towards me. The lights of Times Square were glittering behind him.

“Hey you.”

I sighed, “ Hi.”

He hugged me. I missed his smell. His arms. I missed everything about him.

We sat at the corner of the bar. He went with his usual; a glass of red. And I had their version of a cosmopolitan.

He held his glass up, “Cheers love.”

We clinked glasses. Then he pulled back a little and looked me up in down.

“ You look amazing.”

I knew that’s what I secretly wanted him to say when I picked the outfit out, “ Oh, thanks.”

The casual conversation started. Work. Upcoming jobs. Then we started talking about relationships.

He took a sip of his wine, “ So, are you seeing anyone right now?”

I had news for him, “ I am. But I think I’ve found myself in the same situation.”

“ Meaning?”

“ First of all, he doesn’t live here. Second of all, he actually has a kid. But, I can’t figure out if he’s with the mother or not.”

He froze.

“ So yeah…”

“ You haven’t asked?”

“ I’m afraid to. It’s been going on for a while. I think he thinks I realize they’re together and I’m okay with it.”

“ Would you be?”

I tilted my head, “ Of course not.”


“ I can’t believe this is happening again.”

He straightened up a little, “ Look, maybe he thinks it’s just sex. And since she’s in another state, maybe they have some kind of agreement?”

“You think they’re open?”

“ Maybe.”

I shook my head, “ But it’s not just sex. He calls me and checks up on me when he’s not here. There are all these little things that make it look like he wants a real relationship.”

“ Do you love him?”

I was in shock that he even asked. No, I did not love him. But, I felt I could eventually. It was so easy when we were together. It didn’t feel forced or I had to be a certain way.

“ No.”

“ Then what’s the problem?”

I looked at him. Was he not listening this entire time? Fucking men.

“ I’m the other woman. Again.

“ Oh…yes.”

I didn’t want to talk about him anymore. So I changed the subject.

“ How is she?”

He quickly gulped his wine, “ She’s great.”

She meaning his wife.

“ Yeah um,” he hesitated, “ She’s pregnant.”

I felt my heart stop, “ Oh wow. Congrats.”

He was stuck now. He could never leave even if he wanted to.

I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I tried to lighten the mood.

“ Remember when we had our own little scare?”

He threw his head back, “ Oh my God yes. I was so worried for you.”

It was true. I had a pregnancy scare with him. It was 5 months into the affair. I hadn’t had a period for 4 months…I was too scared to take a test and frankly, I was always very late. But that was before I was having sex.

“ Yeah you were pretty quick to look clinics up…”

I remembered something. Shortly after that we stopped seeing each other. Was that why he ended things? On his terms? Terms he didn’t tell me about.

“ Mel,” he said, “ I just want you to know that I will always be there for you.”

He took my hand, “ I might have said things and didn’t follow through. But I really did love you. I do love you.”

I squeezed his hand, “ I know.”

“ And you can come to me about anything. Family, boyfriends, anything.”

He kissed my hand.

We each had one more drink. We talked a little more. I couldn’t believe he was going to be a father. He was going to be great.

We left the bar and stood outside for a while. He smoked a cigarette. I had one drag of it. We didn’t speak. We just listened to the sound of cars, tourists, music, and our breathing.

I made the decision to leave first, “ Well, I’ll see you when I see you.”

He pulled me in and kissed me on the forehead, “ Bye love.”

That night, I continued watching SATC. And serendipitously, I happened to watch the episode where Carrie and Big have their “The Way We Were” moment.

I started crying as I watched it. Not because I was sad. But because I had closure. Something I’d been wanting for 3 years. I smiled as Carrie said the last line:

“ Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.”


About the Creator

Melissa Lenox

Just a gal living her life to the fullest in NYC.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.