The second half of life, live the "lonely force"

With the rise of mobile phones, the use of social software, and the fact that we are constantly connected to others, the definition of "loneliness" has changed.

Before, loneliness was eating alone, shopping alone and going to the hospital. Now, loneliness is carefully selecting photos and writing articles, but no one likes them in moments.

Before, loneliness was a group of others, you are alone, now, loneliness is sent to the message has not been answered for a long time...

We live in a social age and are caught up in the rush of life.

We are afraid of closing the door of the moment empty, more afraid of the next second and the world derailed.

In fact, loneliness is not terrible, terrible because of the fear of loneliness and make choices.

Forcing yourself to socialize with people you don't like in order to fit in with the team, suppressing your nature and pretending to fit in, doesn't lead to good relationships.

Patience in order to please those around you will eventually become bored with relationships and hate people even more.

A person afraid of loneliness, the fundamental reason is afraid of their own and others are not the same.

Others are in pairs, only oneself or alone; Or everyone else is talking and laughing, but no one is listening to your voice.

The person who enters the company together, has been promoted, is higher than his position; The friends you grew up with are married and have two children.

If everyone around you is getting married, you will rush to find someone to marry. If everyone around you has bought a house and you are still renting, you will be regarded as a failure...

Fear of loneliness, fear of being different from others, will cater to the values of those around them, follow the lifestyle of others to pursue those things they do not like, only to be involved in greater insecurity and anxiety.

But a life guided by someone else's values is not your own.

They have the power to control their own pace. They don't care what other people are like or what the world is like. They have confidence in the way they choose to live their lives, and they are determined to be unique.

You can take your time, even when everyone else around you is running. You can move forward when everyone around you has stopped.

To do this, we must believe that we can do it by ourselves and have a sense of self-responsibility that we are responsible for our own life.

Everything in life depends on our own time and pace. Some people may be ahead of you, some people may be behind you, but it doesn't matter. What matters is whether we can actually feel our own growth.

When you spend so much time with others, you're deprived of your time, and you have less time to work toward your goals.

Spend more time alone so that you can spend your limited time on things that help you improve and get out of your rhythm.

In "The Beheaded Queen," Princess Marie Antoinette of Austria is the apple of the royal eye, as if she were born for pleasure.

When she was a teenager, she married and became queen of France. She lived in the palace of Versailles, the most luxurious palace in Europe at that time.

"Two hours of reading a day is not much, but it will ensure that you do not spend the remaining 22 hours in a foolish way," her brother Joseph II told her in a letter.

Unfortunately, Mary did not take her brother's warning seriously. She was addicted to the court's dancing and drinking party, satisfied with her narrow vision, and ignorant of the changes in the outside world. Finally, she was executed in the French Revolution and became the famous "Queen of the Decapitated".

There is a clock on the campus of Taiwan University, which was set up by president Fu Sinian. It only strikes 21 times a day. Fu sinian said, "A person has only 21 hours in a day, and that leaves three hours for meditation."

What can you do when you're alone? Each person's answer is different. You can learn a new skill to recharge your batteries, or take up a special hobby to spice up your life.

Loneliness, says poet Gary Snyder, gives us a "super vision," sharpening our senses and sharpening our sensitivity to everyday things we might otherwise overlook.

When I am alone, I can hear the rustle of leaves more clearly and smell the fragrance of flowers.

"The ability to be alone is tied to self-discovery and self-actualization," says psychiatrist and psychologist Anthony Stoll. "It's tied to one's deepest needs, emotions and impulses."

In solitude, you can better understand your true heart and polish it.

If you enjoy being alone, it means that you are self-understanding and self-approving, without the "he doesn't understand me" or "he doesn't approve of me" complaints.

It also means you can digest your worries and insecurities and feel more happy.

With mobile phones and the Internet, we can be online almost 24 hours a day, watching videos and chatting with strangers at any time...

But without solitude, there is no opportunity for introspection.

The more we are in the midst of a busy crowd, the more we need "loneliness power", which is a life attitude that always puts one's will at the center and actively assumes one's responsibilities while dealing with others.

With this posture, you can enjoy yourself no matter who you are with, and on your own.

Even when you're physically lonely, you don't feel lonely when you're on your own.

Loneliness power is not about avoiding contact with others, being ignored or isolated by everyone, but about following the path you believe in. It's nice to be with people and to be alone.

No matter what the situation is, you can enjoy the moment.

Virginia Woolf, speaking at Cambridge University, said to the women in the room: "I hope you will find ways to get enough money to travel or do nothing, to think about the past and the future of the world, to dream while reading a book or hanging out on a street corner, to sink deep into the river of thought."

We may not have enough time to travel or do nothing, but we can take a little time every day to do something we love alone.

When you do these things, feel it, savor it, enjoy every moment, and feel the joy of being alone.

What can you do when you're alone? Each person has a different answer.

You can learn a new skill to recharge your batteries. Or take up a special hobby that will spice up your life. You can also leave time for your brain to meditate and enjoy quiet...

When you learn to be alone, you find space for your soul to grow, away from other people and the noise, and back to yourself.