The Real Kind of Man

I had been texting a guy for a few weeks when he happened across a video I had made. In the video, I was a mess. I had made it, mostly as a reminder for myself. The day I had made it, I had stopped to help an older gentleman change a tire and he had given me the "pep talk" of my life. And when I say I was a mess, I was crying - the type of cry where you are wiping snot from your nose and tears continue to fall even when you try to stop. It was the definition of ugly crying.

The texting exchange that happened after he watched that video (pictured above) is one that I will never forget. As a 29 year old single mother, struggling to make ends meet day after day, I was at a point in my life that I figured no one was going to accept me for who I was. I was so used to trying to pull myself together and make everyone believe that I was fine that I forgot that it's ok to show I'm struggling.

I made a print out of this text and I hung it on my mirror so I could see it every day. It reminds me that I need to be the raw, real me. I had been so burnt out on the thought of ever finding a man that was going to love me for me that I was morphing into someone I didn't even recognize.

I found that the type of affection I was looking for wasn't through materialistic things, but more through this: the texting, the communicating, the thought that he was hearing me for more than I was just saying. He told me he couldn't wait to be with me...but that he would wait a long time for me. No one had ever said that to me before. Everyone was always in such a hurry and never wanted to put in the smallest of efforts. He was different. He understood that I needed to be understood, listened to. That I needed communication and loyalty. And that through giving me all of those things, I was able to give him the best version of myself which brought out the best version of himself.

The truth is, none of us are easy to date, deal with, or please all of the time. We have our quirks, our vices, our attitudes that make us unique and one of a kind. You won't like everything about somebody, it isn't possible. You see, there's really no such thing as perfect. It's just finding that person that you believe to be your perfect. Someone that you are willing to work for while they are willing to work for you.

I'd like to tell you this is the man I end up marrying. That he swept me off my feet and made my soul come alive, but I'm not that far yet. But I promise, if we get married, you'll be the first to know.