The psychology of attraction, in 12 keys

What does science say about attraction? What are the results of the research carried out by psychologists regarding this phenomenon?

In this article you will find the 12 keys to the psychology of attraction and the mysteries that surround the relationship between our brain and our behavior related to the act of attracting.

Psychology of attraction and research

Psychologists have spent years trying to find out more about attraction, for example, why and how this process occurs, why we are attracted to some people and not others. Today it is thought that cultural and biological variables are involved in attraction, but attraction is an abstract concept and there has not always been a consensus on this issue. In fact, some research has provided data that is certainly curious. You can get to know them in this article: " Love and infatuation: 7 surprising investigations ".

On the other hand, it is known that the dynamics of affective-sexual attraction move through different logics, above all, taking into account two criteria . The first is the biological sex of the person, whether it is male or female: what some find attractive does not have to be so for others, and vice versa, while within each of these groups we can detect common patterns. On the other hand, the level of attraction felt by someone with the idea of ​​looking for a sexual partner in mind is not the same as having the idea of ​​finding a sentimental partner with whom to live indefinitely. Both situations pose different needs and objectives.

Keys to the psychology of attraction

Virtually all human beings can feel attraction to someone, with the exception of asexuals (or rather, part of them). When someone attracts us and makes us feel that special feeling, our world changes. That person becomes our target and no matter what happens we want to merge into his body. Society may have evolved, but our innate instincts such as attraction have not.

And… what does psychology say about it? What are the keys to the psychology of attraction? To find out, just keep reading.

1. Handsome or ugly?

One of the big questions that many of us ask ourselves is whether physicality is so important when it comes to flirting, that is, being handsome. In fact, I'm sure you'll all agree that there are not very attractive people who are successful in love and attraction .

According to an investigation published in the British newspaper "The Telegraph", the key to this is the attitude that some people show. There are many individuals who, despite not being attractive, show great security and self- confidence . Perhaps beauty is not so important after all.

2. Better funny and intriguing

A person may be attractive and successful, and if they also have great self-confidence, they are certainly captivating. But what if it's boring?

Maybe we don't like it so much anymore. This is what John Medina says, a biologist who concludes that the brain has a very short attention span. So we are drawn to people and things that are fun, interesting, intriguing, and catch our eye. After all, attraction isn't just a pretty face. Rather, it is the moments we share with that person that accentuate those intimate moments .

3. 30 seconds is enough

You may have heard many times the phrase that the first impression is what counts, and this could be true when it comes to attraction. Has it ever happened to you that you felt a crush as soon as you saw that special person.

An investigation affirms that it only takes 30 seconds to feel attraction for a person . Maybe looks matter then.

4. Red: color of attraction

Colors provoke emotions in people, and red is associated with love, passion and fertility for many reasons. Now, it seems that red could be the color of attraction, according to a study.

These researchers conclude that red is the color with which both men and women should dress , because it suits us better and makes other people want us more. In other words, it increases our seductive power.

5. Symmetry

A study led by a biologist at the University of Mexico found that both men and women find people of the opposite sex who have a more symmetrical face and body more attractive .

This is because the brain associates symmetry with good genetics. Also, the study concluded that people with more symmetrical features enjoy a more pleasant intimate life.

6. Question of curves

Although the world of fashion or magazines insist on making us fans of thin people, the reality is that curves are still successful among men. This is what a study by Devendra Singh, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Texas, found.

According to their conclusions, the figure of the woman that resembles an hourglass is the most attractive . In the case of women, they prefer men with broader shoulders.

7. Body language

Body language has been one of the most studied topics, and open body language has been found to be attractive to both men and women . This type of body language shows courtship readiness, which helps start conversations. Exposing your torso, raising your shoulders, or showing your neck make you more attractive.

You can learn more about this topic in our article: " The 6 signs that show physical attraction to another person "

8. Facial structure

There seems to be a relationship between facial structure and what happens in our body. Estrogen contributes to the growth of bones in the face of women, specifically the lower face or the chin.

In men, testosterone is involved in the development of the lower face, jaw, or prominent forehead. These facial structures are attractive to the opposite gender.

9. The smell

A recent study has shown that women smell better and look more attractive to men at certain times of the month , which has to do with the menstrual cycle.

For them, the men who smell best are those with symmetrical features. Other research found that menstruating women have a sharper sense of smell and are more attracted to men with symmetrical features.

10. Particularities of the voice

The voice we emit can also be an aphrodisiac . Science has shown that men prefer women with a higher voice. While women prefer men with deep voices. This has to do with hormones and the reproductive development of the species.

11. Dilated pupils give away

The look is, without a doubt, one of the keys to attraction. A deep look can reach us to the heart. Science says that dilated pupils give away our attraction to another person .

When they get bigger, it can indicate that the other person feels attraction. This is what says research from the University of Chicago led by Dr. Eckhard Hess.

12. Signs of attraction

But also: what signs do men and women show when we feel attraction? Science has come to the following conclusions.

A man interested in a woman usually :

• Make eye contact more often
• Smile more
• Do more self-care behaviors. For example, putting on a tie
• sit upright
• Roll your shoulders back and your chest out

A woman, on the other hand, performs these behaviors :

• Smile and maintain eye contact more often, just like men
• Make a slight bow towards the person you are attracted to
• Exposes hands, neck and palms
• Cross and uncross legs
• Take care of your skin more than usual
• touch your hair