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The Dos and Don'ts of First Dates: How to Make a Lasting Impression.

Things you need to know before going on your first date.

By Mervis Chanda Published about a year ago 7 min read
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The Dos and Don'ts of First Dates: How to Make a Lasting Impression.
Photo by Surface on Unsplash

First dates can be nerve-wracking. You're meeting someone new, trying to make a good impression, and hoping that things go well. Whether you're a seasoned dater or new to the dating scene, it's important to know the dos and don'ts of first dates to make a lasting impression. In this post, we'll explore some of the most important things to do (and avoid doing) on a first date.

Dos of First Dates

  • Be on time and dress appropriately

One of the most important things you can do on a first date is to be on time. Being late can send the wrong message and make your date feel unimportant. If you're running late, make sure to communicate with your date and apologise for the delay. It's also essential to dress appropriately for the occasion. Make sure you're dressed comfortably and in a way that reflects your personal style while still being appropriate for the setting. Dressing too casually or too formally can send mixed signals and make your date feel uncomfortable.

  • Engage in active listening and ask open-ended questions

On a first date, it's important to show your interest in your date by actively listening and asking open-ended questions. Try to avoid interrupting your date or talking over them, as this can be a major turn-off. Instead, listen carefully to what they're saying and respond with thoughtful questions that allow them to share more about themselves. Open-ended questions like "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?" or "What brought you to this city?" can help you get to know your date better and keep the conversation flowing.

  • Show your personality and share your interests

While it's important to listen to your date, it's also essential to show your personality and share your interests. Be yourself and don't be afraid to talk about what you're passionate about. Sharing your hobbies, interests, and experiences can help your date get to know you better and feel more comfortable opening up to you. Just make sure you don't dominate the conversation and give your date a chance to share as well.

  • Offer compliments and show appreciation

Another way to make a lasting impression on a first date is to offer genuine compliments and show your appreciation. Let your date know that you're enjoying your time with them and that you find them attractive, interesting, or funny. However, be careful not to overdo it or come across as insincere. Choose your compliments carefully and make sure they're appropriate for the situation.

  • Be respectful and considerate

Finally, it's essential to be respectful and considerate on a first date. Treat your date with kindness and respect, and make sure to listen to their boundaries and preferences. Avoid making inappropriate jokes, being rude to waitstaff or other people you encounter on your date, or pressuring your date into doing something they're not comfortable with. Remember that your goal is to make a good impression and build a connection, not to push your own agenda.

Don'ts of First Dates

  • Don't be late or cancel last minute without a good reason

As we mentioned earlier, being on time is crucial on a first date. It shows your date that you're responsible, respectful, and interested in getting to know them. If you're running late, make sure to communicate with your date and apologise for the delay. Cancelling last minute without a good reason can also be a major turn-off and make your date feel like you don't value their time.

  • Avoid being distracted by your phone or other distractions

Another big don't on a first date is to avoid being distracted by your phone or other distractions. It's important to give your date your undivided attention and show them that you're interested in getting to know them. Checking your phone or being distracted by other things can send the wrong message and make your date feel like they're not important to you. If you need to check your phone, make sure to excuse yourself and do it discreetly.

  • Don't talk only about yourself or dominate the conversation

While it's important to share your interests and personality on a first date, it's also essential to give your date a chance to speak and share their own thoughts and experiences. Talking only about yourself or dominating the conversation can be a major turn-off and make your date feel like you're not interested in getting to know them. Try to find a balance between sharing and listening, and make sure to give your date plenty of opportunities to speak.

  • Don't bring up sensitive or controversial topics

On a first date, it's important to keep the conversation light and positive. Avoid bringing up sensitive or controversial topics like politics, religion, or past relationships. These topics can be divisive and may make your date feel uncomfortable or defensive. Instead, focus on topics that are more neutral and allow you to get to know your date in a fun and lighthearted way.

  • Avoid being rude or disrespectful

Finally, it's important to avoid being rude or disrespectful on a first date. Treat your date with kindness and respect, and avoid making negative comments or putting them down. Remember that your goal is to make a good impression and build a connection, not to criticize or judge your date. If you're not feeling a connection, it's okay to politely decline a second date, but make sure to do so respectfully and without being rude or hurtful.

Additional Tips for Making a Lasting Impression

In addition to the dos and don'ts we've already covered, there are a few more tips that can help you make a lasting impression on a first date:

Pay attention to body language and nonverbal cues

Body language and nonverbal cues can say a lot about how your date is feeling and whether they're interested in you. Pay attention to their body language and try to match it with your own. For example, if they're leaning in and making eye contact, it's a good sign that they're interested in what you're saying. If they're leaning back or crossing their arms, it may mean that they're feeling defensive or uncomfortable.

Find common ground and connect on shared interests

Finding common ground and connecting on shared interests can be a great way to build a connection on a first date. Look for things you both enjoy, whether it's a favorite movie, a shared hobby, or a love of travel. Use these shared interests as a jumping-off point for deeper conversations and to build a sense of rapport.

Show genuine interest and enthusiasm

One of the most important things you can do on a first date is to show genuine interest and enthusiasm. Be curious about your date and ask thoughtful questions that show you're invested in getting to know them. Share your own passions and interests with enthusiasm and excitement. When you're genuinely interested in someone, it shows, and can go a long way in building a connection.

End the date on a positive note, but avoid coming on too strong

It's important to end the date on a positive note, but avoid coming on too strong. Thank your date for a lovely time and express your interest in seeing them again, but don't push for a second date right away. Give them space to think about the experience and decide. It is important to avoid coming on too strong or making assumptions about the future. Keep it light and friendly and let the relationship develop naturally.

Follow up with a text or call to express your interest

Finally, If you had a great time on the date, it is a good idea to follow up with a text or call to express your interest. Keep it short and sweet, and let your date know that you enjoyed their company and would like to see them again. Avoid being too pushy or demanding and give your date time to respond.

In conclusion, making a lasting impression on a first date requires a combination of good communication skills, genuine interest, and a positive attitude. By paying attention to body language and nonverbal cues, finding common ground, showing enthusiasm, and ending the date on a positive note, you can leave a lasting impression on your date. Remember to follow up with a text or call to express your interest and apply these tips to future dates for a successful and lasting impression. Happy dating!

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