The Day the Party Ended

This is part 1 of a 3 part piece.

2018: How it Began

In May of 2018, I got off of an airplane and visited Bogota for the first time in my life.

I was there for only 4 days, a random "I've never been there before" last minute decision that led me to a strange and beautiful series of events that I am now recollecting like treasured objects before they fade into dust, for what are memories if not exactly that?

I won't lie.

Although Bogota is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever visited, I spent most of my first time there in my hotel room hooking up with a lot of sexy Colombian men. I won't reveal the final number but - it was a lot and it was a little bit of a gift to myself after a long painful breakup and finally feeling recovered and ready to explore and enjoy the world again.

Even though I identify as much more of a top, I spent a lot of time that weekend with my legs up, on all fours or bent over desks and tables in my hotel room as I was mercilessly enjoyed and pounded by a passionate and well built local with pants and underwear around our knees. Talk about being opem to new experiences.

One of them stood out. Since I had decided to only go there for 4 days, I had a little bit of a transactional business like mentality that was uniquely American. I wasn't there for small talk, I didn't want a local guide. I wanted passionate kissing, heavy panting, touching, licking, sucking and fucking. And when we were done I wanted to shake hands, offer you a bottle of water and wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Almost all of the guys I met that weekend from my apps that were non-stop blowing up were just fine with my transactional approach - but not Pablo. He insisted on meeting for lunch and laughingly ignored my very pressing sexual questions and all answers were met with "Haha - pervert, let's talk live." He would later explain to me that he felt awkward and nervous with blind hookups - no matter how many face pictures were sent - and liked the idea of feeling the chemistry and letting that lead things.

I gave in and we met for lunch. After that we walked around the city for almost 3 hours. He helped my buy a belt and showed the street art of Candelaria. We exchanged stories of our past loves and relationships and goals and dreams and in the garden of the Bogota Museum of Art, he looked around discreetly before leaning over to me and giving me a quick but intimate kiss, smiling gently at me and stroking my face while he did so.

He had to go to work and class and we held hands in the back of the Uber that would first drop me off at my hotel, and then the cafe where he worked. He kissed me on the cheek and said he would text me later and maybe he could come over after class.

We had incredible sex that night, and he slept over - something that surprised us both.

I left and returned to my decent life as a mid 4o year old gay man in New York City with a boring if not well paying job as an Engineering Director. I had my small circle of friends, my apartment in Hell's Kitchen with my best buddy. My cat, some books, some family, and an overall mundane but satisfactory life.

Pablo found me on social media and we decided to keep in touch. Every once in a while one of us would text the other - usually for some sexting, but one day he asked if I would come back to Bogota and before I knew it we were looking at flights and in the middle of July, I found myself back in Bogota.

So it went and each time I went back to Bogota, things got a little more intense between us and we got closer and closer.

During my fourth and final trip as October came to a close, I went to bed with him one night - his athletic and wiry frame curled up closely against my tall, broad stocky one and he was just Pablo, and the next morning I woke up and he was just PABLO!

I couldn't help noticing everything about him. The way he walked, the way he moved, the way he processed information, the way he looked at himself in mirrors when we got into elevators, the way he always wore clothes in a way that showed off his underwear bands when he changed or lifted his shirt. All of a sudden the idea of me leaving Bogota filled me with dread, I didn't want to leave him - I had no idea how this all happened - how did it go from one night to him being a friend with benefits I sort of "dated" while I was in Bogota to now feeling like I was in love with him?

I tried to hide my feelings and when the last day came and he dropped me off at the El Dorado airport as he always did, I couldn't help but feel a huge pang of loss.

Every day after waking up was filled with a strange and wonderful mixture of heart-ache. I couldn't concentrate at work, all I did was re-play the last few days in my head, wondering what the hell happened and how it all changed. When he suddenly posted a picture of us on Instagram one day with the caption of "Te extrano mucho, gringo" (I miss you) it felt like my heart was going to burst. Could it be he maybe felt the same way about me?

In December I had a last minute trip to Amsterdam for work and when I landed I realized I had left my wallet at home. It was a harrowing series of events and finally after 6 hours of wandering the city with a dead phone and a growing sense of hopelessness, I found a small cafe and was able to connect with my laptop and book an AirBnb with a saved account.

Once I arrived, I was able to charge my phone, make arrangements for a buddy to wire me money and finally felt waves of relief. I decided to head out and walk around and finally opened my cell phone for the first time since the night before.

Pablo had sent me about 30 texts. He was drunk and high and had been at a party all night. It was close to 9am and he sent me a video of himself in a bathroom, saying how much he missed me and how much he wanted to talk to me. That he couldn't stop thinking about me - I called him as soon as I could and we spent an hour talking on the phone, I explained everything that had happened and he told me he was glad I didn't respond - that it gave him the courage to tell me everything he wanted to say because he wasn't sure if I felt the same way - and at the end we had decided.

We were now boyfriends.

To be continued in Part II