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The Art of Saying Sorry

Apologizing can be tough

By Liana HewittPublished 5 years ago 3 min read

I’m a fairly emphatic person, heck, even when I play The Sims I don’t want to hurt them. I know there’s people that will do a lot of weird and awful things to their sims but I nurture mine to the point where it’s like they’re my children. I can’t even have them get in fights with each other or argue. But that being said, sometimes things can get misinterpreted and end up with hurt feelings.

I try with all my might to be whatever it is that someone needs. A friend, a confidant, a shoulder to cry on, a jokester. You name it and I’ve been there. This isn’t always the smartest way to do things. I’ve discovered that while trying to be all of different things you lose a piece of you and when you lose a piece of you that’s when upsets happen and you guess it, feelings get hurt in the end.

Sometimes it’s hard for people to apologize. A lot of things can get in the way, ego for example. When our egos run the show we don’t want to be responsible for anything. It’s all about what the individual wants and no one else matters or can get in the way. After all, the ego is all about our identity and self preservation. Apologizing can make us feel guilt or shame, the ego then tries to spare us that pain but making excuses or reasons not to apologize, why you’re not in the wrong but perhaps the other person is. Now if you even look back to my previous paragraph I’m even making excuses there on why I end up hurting people. My ego is trying to protect me all of the sake of an article.

The best thing you can do when you know that you’ve hurt someone is be direct and apologize. If you’re honest and heartfelt how you feel it will come across in the apology. Honesty is always the best policy, it’ll make your apology that much more sincere which is what we are all looking for in an apology. That being said, do not apologize if you do not mean it. There’s nothing worse than an insincere apology. If you aren’t sorry just don’t say you are. No one is forcing you to like when you fought with a sibling while young and your parents made you apologize.

Everyone can benefit from an apology; you will instantly feel better knowing that you haven’t caused anyone any pain or suffering and the person receiving the apology will feel better knowing that you didn’t mean to harm them. If the apology goes well there will also be instant stress relief for both parties involved.

Of course sometimes just the apology is not enough. You need to be able to right any wrongs that you may have caused. For example if you’re apologizing because you broke a window, the way to right that wrong would be to get the window fixed; or if you’re apologizing for not listening to someone the way to right that wrong might be to give them your undivided attention while conversing in the future such as putting away any electronic devices that may distract you. For every wrong there is a right; some may be harder to find than others but they are there if you look hard enough.

In the end, keep the lines of communication open. Nothing clears the air better than talking it out. All kinds of new information can be learned if we listen to each other more often. Nothing takes down walls faster than talking.


About the Creator

Liana Hewitt

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