humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
Oh the Humanity!
For many of you, this post may not make sense unless you read my Uncle Johnny post. If you aren’t interested in reading the full story let me give you a brief recap:
Katherine SchaeferPublished 7 years ago in HumansMatching with the Nice Guys: A Tinder Guide
So you finally got a Tinder account. Maybe you're curious, maybe you're looking for a hookup, maybe you are tentatively trying to get back into the dating game. Maybe you have no freaking idea why you've allowed your best friend to set you up with a Tinder account but you're going with it.
Irina OrellPublished 7 years ago in HumansSleeping Debate
It had been five days since Rita and Ivy had returned from their trip to Amsterdam. The holiday did not go as planned at all, but that wasn't bad thing as far as they were concerned. Rita and Ivy had been friends since their first day of high school.
Chloe GilholyPublished 7 years ago in HumansUncle Johnny?
Dating as a millennial is like trying to find colors in a black in white film; frustrating and pretty impossible. Typically, you have three options:
Katherine SchaeferPublished 7 years ago in HumansThe Uptown Boys
The first time I met Charlie Monroe he offered to buy me a bag of peach rings. Well, that’s not entirely true. It’s more like I blackmailed him into buying me peach rings.
Chloe RamosPublished 7 years ago in Humans- Top Story - July 2017
Personal Space is an Actual Thing, Sir.
It's a tough 'ole world out there for us girls - this is a known fact so I shan't labour it too much, worry not. I just want to share with you an experience I had the other day which had a superb effect on me.
Curse of the Secret Santa
The lights. The blinking lights flashing green and red, alternating in duration, yet somehow in sync, clearly the difference maker. The lights illuminate the season. The smell of pine fills the air as I pass the rows of wreath and tree vendors. With several packages in hand, I struggle through the streets of New York feeling the brisk cool air, evidenced through my foggy breath. Yup, tis the season. It’s Christmas time. Whenever I casually walk the city streets, I always experience incidental bumping by New Yorkers seemingly in a hurry - typical. Now, there are shoppers with bags upon bags of gifts no one will ever use. I too am on that same quest except for me it’s a tradition that invokes a curse. This curse is not one conjured by a witch or warlock but one that was self-imposed, unwittingly through my own selfish, childish actions. Only after the third or fourth year as an adult did I realize I was under said curse. Some may call it retribution. Some may call it a well-deserved boomerang effect. I call it quite simply: The Curse of the Secret Santa.
Tomas AlejandroPublished 7 years ago in HumansSamurai Badger
Mr. Badger liked his bed. Of course, he loved his wife, but his bed was what he loved the most. He had a long-lived affair with his bed. Who could blame him? He dedicated sixty years of his life towards the creative arts and child welfare. When he wore his Salvation Army uniform for the last time, he envisioned a quiet life by the countryside.
Chloe GilholyPublished 7 years ago in HumansSadBoy
The year is 2017—we are within the grasp of the digital era. “Millennials are so stuck in their electronics that they don’t know how to communicate in real life anymore!”
Flatty Flat Flat
I'm an Iron Writer and every week there's a new writing challenge, to create a 500 word story incorporating 4 elements given in whichever way to feel. This is a great way to learn and practise your writing. Go over to The Iron Writer to find out. And I love it when there are Specials. This one was directed at a certain member who was very "literary," shall we say, though to me fell flat. Hope you like this little "dig."
Why Didn't I Think of That Earlier?
There is little more frustrating than the inability to come up with a witty or off-the-cuff remark when insulted (either accidentally or on purpose). You freeze. Possibly stand still. If you’re anything like me the word "fuck" repeats over and over in your head in this really urgent loop. Sometimes I used walk away to only realise at a later point that I have little crescent moons embedded in my palms from having my fists so tightly balled. The funny thing is that maybe half an hour later it comes to you—the exact thing that would’ve been perfect to say. The exact thing that would’ve knocked that smug look right off their face, or if they’d inadvertently offended you, make them reconsider the fact that they obviously hadn’t thought of your feelings. You know you’re better than this, right? You’re better than them. This wasn’t you at your best and you go mad thinking about how you’d do things differently and you would be the one walking away high-fiving people and looking smugger (is that even a word?) than that sap Juliette Lewis.
Caroline EganPublished 7 years ago in HumansMatrimonial Machinations
Matrimonial Machinations "If you had listened to me, we would have been here on time!" Lena snapped as she struggled to adjust the sash on her coral sundress. Edward freely exercised his right to remain silent. Thirteen years of marriage had produced four wonderful children, along with enough arguments to last a lifetime. He knew that they had a snowball's chance in hell of winning $200,000 on the latest reality show, Love and Marriage, but it was worth a shot. Edward could only hope that the other couples would make them look like the Ozzie and Harriet viewers were looking for.
Michael LenzyPublished 7 years ago in Humans