Hailing from Dublin, Ireland, Caroline has a variety of published fiction and non-fiction, written in a wry style on all things nerdy and neurotic. Her collection of essays Fahckmylife: The Little Book of Fahck, is available on Amazon.
Every Night They Came
I was told this story many moons ago before bedtime by a friend. He was convinced that some version of this had happened to him. I was a creepy kid, and although I was captivated by it, it has stuck with over the years, etched in my brain. The story has morphed over time, but the effect is still the same, and I cannot for the life of me reconcile a conclusive ending in my mind. I had sleepless nights because of it and kept a nightlight in my room.
Confidence is a Preference for the Habitual Voyeur
'You’re very opinionated.’ ‘You’re very cocky.’ ‘You’re not as clever as you think you are.’ ‘You’d be great if you used your brain and weren’t so lazy.’
My Experiment with Vocal.media
You mightn't have noticed, but I love writing. I've been doing it since I was tiny, writing elaborate and embarrassing stories involving teenage vampires well before Twilight was even a twinkle in Stephanie Myer's eye. I never thought anything really of it until in my twenties I decided to try to give writing a shot again, as an aside to other jobs, and the happiness it brought me was immeasurable. Whether it was good or not, was not the point, and looking back most of it was most certainly not. However, over time I grew more confident and occasionally felt like I struck gold, with a few widely read blog posts and a couple of decent short stories and before I knew it I was a freelance writer.
How to ADULT
Buy slippers. Just do it. Not just one pair. Buy multiples. You need to be comfortable inside where you will be a lot of the time when you are not physically ‘adulting’. Use phrases like ‘but they are so comfy’ and even consider buying a spare set just in case you can’t reach the original. Dressing gowns are optional also. Do not, and I repeat, do not buy or consider purchasing crocs. You haven’t given up that much yet.
So You're Working Class Now?
I am working class and from Finglas, Dublin. I may have moved around the country a lot (probably about 8 different houses before the age of 9) before we settled in Dublin in the early '90s but I consider Finglas my home. However, I was kind of in a weird situation, because I was never really considered middle-class or working-class in any proper sense of the word. At various stages I was considered ‘posh’, was picked on in my area and in school, and found it difficult to make friends locally because my parents, who thought they were protecting me, wouldn’t let me associate with people nearby. However, despite their best efforts and what-not, I was still considered ‘common’ by more middle-class families and likewise, people weren’t allowed to hang around with me. Also, I feel that the ‘working class’ label has worked to my disadvantage in college and lead to people severely underestimating me. I mean, I don’t know what I am, although once I say Finglas with my glorious accent the decision is taken out of my hands. But I kinda dislike poshos anyway so I guess it doesn’t matter.
How to Stop Feeling Like Crap
We all know that our looks are where most of our worth comes from right? And maybe recently you’ve just come to the conclusion that you mightn’t be even average looking because somebody told you that you were an ugly bitch. Look, it’s not your fault OK? You were born with deficient genes and that whole myth of ‘marry a rich man’ that your mother sold you instead of cultivating a rich sense of independence and pride in your own interests and work ethic is kinda fucked now isn’t it? If you had just realised that you were ugly sooner. Goddammit.
Part 3: Things to Consider When Self Publishing
The whole marketing part of organising a book is possibly one of the biggest and most time-consuming elements of the self-publishing process. As I’ve said before I am still learning, but there is a lot of effort involved and it can be quite daunting. The aim is to get all your hard work out there and that means you simply cannot stop once your work is published. Oh no - my creative friend - you have to keep going and when you hit an obstacle you have to find another way to get new readers.
I've got 99 problems
But a bitch ain’t one. In fact, here are my problems, in no particular order. 1. The lyrics of Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me.